Wild Differences

There are big differences between people here, and a lot seems to be because of the group they get attached to. I was in a fairly wild group myself at one time; the parties were nuts. One time I went with two of my good girl friends and we all got trashed. We played drinking games for hours, took shots that no sane person would want to take, and it wasn’t like we were the only ones. Everyone in the room was doing exactly the same thing! And then someone pulls out some military body armour. That started a whole new round of shouting and drinking. People were putting it on and letting one of the guys beat them with a steel bat. I was the first girl to get beaten; they laughed. No-one got hurt but when I woke up in the morning I realized how truly crazy it was and it scared me. Someone could have gotten seriously hurt. But we didn’t care, we were just there to have fun. In a way, I'm glad I was there that one time; fortunately no one came to any harm, and it certainly did teach me something about myself.

I try not to judge people or change them; I wouldn't succeed, and it's really not my place to even try. I just watch them and enjoy whatever things they do and whatever fun they are, which is often quite a lot. Drunks, potheads, sluts: I've partied with them all. Before, I might have been prejudiced against them, but it's hard to be prejudiced against someone you know as a person, can enjoy their company and have fun with.

However, there are limits. In December I was dating a guy I knew from home. I would go up to his residence every weekend and party with all his roommates and friends. We always had a blast. But that’s when I realized it: even when I visited during the week, they were drinking. They never seemed to have books there, or computers with anything other than infantile games on them. I don't think there was ever a time, even during the day, when I heard one of them say, "OK, bye, I have to go to class now."

I tried to reason with my friend, and he agreed, but then he carried on with the same group in the same way. I pointed out what he was doing, and he agreed with that too. I'm not going with him now, even though he's still fun and a really good person underneath. It hurts, but I think this group is going nowhere, and they could well end up there before they think.

Even in my own residence, one Friday afternoon, around 3, I had just got back from class and there were girls running around the hallways being chased by boys. They were wearing thongs and that was it. Most of them, I didn't even know, and I never did find out how my floor was chosen as the best place for their behaviour. This was my house, my floor was my home. As I stepped over one of them who was starting to hump another, all I could think was, I need to go into my room and lock the door. Fortunately, just like the party with the armour and the steel bat, it never happened again.

Through all this, I went to classes, did my work, and never did do anything that would do me any permanent harm or make me permanently ashamed of myself. It's harder to surprise me or shock me than it would have been before, and I think I'm coming through it as a more tolerant and a wiser person. I've certainly seen more wild things.