I Used Stimulants

I had to use stimulants. I resisted it for a long time but eventually, there seemed to be no alternative. I always had fifty hours of work to do in the next two days. The math only worked if I did without sleep, and here seemed to be a simple solution.

I found that instead of working myself to the bone while constantly craving sleep, I was alert, happy and focused. I could maintain a full courseload, participate in as many extracurriculars as I wanted, complete my homework in time and party til I dropped, or should have dropped, without wasting any time. I had squeezed every ounce of performance and productivity out of myself that was possible. And was able to still have fun.

I told myself I needed the competitive advantage. I could still have been good without them. But with them, I was better.

I didn't really think it was different than working under the influence of caffeine or nicotine. There's no disgrace in using these mood-altering substances to enhance your ability to concentrate, to achieve, and to enjoy. And I'm not even going to mention alcohol. So why the big deal about stimulants?

You might notice that all of what’s written here is in the past tense. Have my attitude and my habits changed?

Yes. But that's another story. And I'm not going to let you in on it.