The Pressure Cooker

During my first year of university I chose to live on a Res floor that was designated, "Special Interest for high achieving students". My hope was that I would be able to connect with students with similar interests.

While I did share some interests with my floor-mates I found that there was a lot of competition and stress as well. It felt like there was an underlying expectation to do well. It was as though school was supposed to be easy for us; if it wasn’t, then clearly you were doing something wrong, or maybe it was that you were just not good enough. For example, after a physics test or a calculus exam, everyone would compare answers, and if you were not in the majority, then you were looked down upon. I'm not sure whether this attitude was intended, whether it just happened, or whether it just seemed to happen. In any case, I did not like it.

I did learn to overcome it, but only by studying and completing school work in my room or off residence. So the University's intention when they put us all together didn't work out in my case. The idea must be that the competition inspires everyone to ever-greater heights of achievement. For me, it only underscored all my fears and all my uncertainties. I had to get away before I could function efficiently again.

Exam time was worse. The levels of stress became unbearable. It got to the point that if certain people came into a room, I would leave because they would be so frustrated with themselves that they would start to infect me too. There were people I studied in groups with for particular exams, but I preferred to avoid the students whose affliction was most extreme.

For next year, I've arranged to live with more normal kinds of people. Some aren't in the same program as me; they don't have labs, and their work seems to go at a much less frantic pace than ours does. I've enjoyed sometimes being with these people this year, and I'm looking forward to broadening my horizons with them next year.

Maybe the pressure cooker suits some people. But I've learned that it doesn't suit me.