There are big differences between people here, and a lot seems to be because of the group they get attached to. I was in a fairly wild group myself at one time; the parties were nuts. One time I went with two of my good girl friends and we all got trashed. We played drinking games for hours, took shots that no sane person would want to take, and it wasn’t like we were the only ones. Everyone in the room was doing exactly the same thing! And then someone pulls out some military body armour. That started a whole new round of shouting and drinking. People were putting it on and letting one of the guys beat them with a steel bat. I was the first girl to get beaten; they laughed. No-one got hurt but when I woke up in the morning I realized how truly crazy it was and it scared me. Someone could have gotten seriously hurt. But we didn’t care, we were just there to have fun. In a way, I'm glad I was there that one time; fortunately no one came to any harm, and it certainly did teach me something about myself.
I try not to judge people or change them; I wouldn't succeed, and it's really not my place to even try. I just watch them and enjoy whatever things they do and whatever fun they are, which is often quite a lot. Drunks, potheads, sluts: I've partied with them all. Before, I might have been prejudiced against them, but it's hard to be prejudiced against someone you know as a person, can enjoy their company and have fun with.
However, there are limits. In December I was dating a guy I knew from home. I would go up to his residence every weekend and party with all his roommates and friends. We always had a blast. But that’s when I realized it: even when I visited during the week, they were drinking. They never seemed to have books there, or computers with anything other than infantile games on them. I don't think there was ever a time, even during the day, when I heard one of them say, "OK, bye, I have to go to class now."
I tried to reason with my friend, and he agreed, but then he carried on with the same group in the same way. I pointed out what he was doing, and he agreed with that too. I'm not going with him now, even though he's still fun and a really good person underneath. It hurts, but I think this group is going nowhere, and they could well end up there before they think.
Even in my own residence, one Friday afternoon, around 3, I had just got back from class and there were girls running around the hallways being chased by boys. They were wearing thongs and that was it. Most of them, I didn't even know, and I never did find out how my floor was chosen as the best place for their behaviour. This was my house, my floor was my home. As I stepped over one of them who was starting to hump another, all I could think was, I need to go into my room and lock the door. Fortunately, just like the party with the armour and the steel bat, it never happened again.
Through all this, I went to classes, did my work, and never did do anything that would do me any permanent harm or make me permanently ashamed of myself. It's harder to surprise me or shock me than it would have been before, and I think I'm coming through it as a more tolerant and a wiser person. I've certainly seen more wild things.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Staying True to Yourself
While in first year, I was bombarded with many new things, mostly good, but some bad. Being quite a bit younger than everyone else, I had to put on my toughest skin and stay true to myself. I wasn't rigid; some of what I'd thought I'd decided turned out to be just unrealistic. It was OK to wear somewhat more revealing clothes than I had before, or to drink a bit more than I'd previously thought suitable. Nothing important was being compromised.
Certain things were being pushed on me that I had to say no to. Yes you're right: drunkenness, drugs, sex beyond a certain point, things like that. People were sometimes quite unrelenting at first, but eventually they did take the hint and stopped pressuring me. I stayed to true to myself and didn’t compromise certain things in first year. Later on, these same people would come up to me and say how they admired me for that and how they wished they were more like me.
As much as you try to make friends and try new things, sometimes you can be the only one who is unwilling to move on your values and your decisions about them. It might feel lonely at the time, but in the end you will not regret it, and others will have noticed as well.
After those years at University, you need to still be yourself. Whether or not you are happy with what you did in University will depend on the decisions you've made while you were there.
Certain things were being pushed on me that I had to say no to. Yes you're right: drunkenness, drugs, sex beyond a certain point, things like that. People were sometimes quite unrelenting at first, but eventually they did take the hint and stopped pressuring me. I stayed to true to myself and didn’t compromise certain things in first year. Later on, these same people would come up to me and say how they admired me for that and how they wished they were more like me.
As much as you try to make friends and try new things, sometimes you can be the only one who is unwilling to move on your values and your decisions about them. It might feel lonely at the time, but in the end you will not regret it, and others will have noticed as well.
After those years at University, you need to still be yourself. Whether or not you are happy with what you did in University will depend on the decisions you've made while you were there.
Freedom
I have freedom here. I can eat in class, I can get up and leave class whenever I want, I can sleep in and not go to class. No nagging from parents or teachers. It does take some getting used to that no one is going to wake you up to go to class or remind you about what needs to be done and when. You can do whatever you want.
I like this sense of freedom. But I don't necessarily behave any differently than when I didn’t have it. The difference is that now I am making the decision, not others. The result in terms of my behaviour is usually the same but that is not necessarily relevant to how I feel about it.
In a way, it is more relaxed at this small university than in high school. There seems to be no need for heavy-handed policing systems. Yes, there are people in the residences whose job it is to see that things don't get too far out of hand. But not many, and they don't have a lot to do.
Perhaps it's because the place is small and most people know other people; if you see people behaving in certain ways, you'll see them again tomorrow, and if you don't know who they are, it would be easy to find out. That tames peoples' wilder sides. I think, too, that the kinds of people who would be attracted to come here wouldn't be ones whose behaviour would stretch other peoples' tolerances. They'd find it too quiet, too conservative, too constricting, and too boring.
Good. I have all the freedom I want. People who would use their freedom in ways that would bother me have gone somewhere else. It all suits me just fine in a place like this.
I like this sense of freedom. But I don't necessarily behave any differently than when I didn’t have it. The difference is that now I am making the decision, not others. The result in terms of my behaviour is usually the same but that is not necessarily relevant to how I feel about it.
In a way, it is more relaxed at this small university than in high school. There seems to be no need for heavy-handed policing systems. Yes, there are people in the residences whose job it is to see that things don't get too far out of hand. But not many, and they don't have a lot to do.
Perhaps it's because the place is small and most people know other people; if you see people behaving in certain ways, you'll see them again tomorrow, and if you don't know who they are, it would be easy to find out. That tames peoples' wilder sides. I think, too, that the kinds of people who would be attracted to come here wouldn't be ones whose behaviour would stretch other peoples' tolerances. They'd find it too quiet, too conservative, too constricting, and too boring.
Good. I have all the freedom I want. People who would use their freedom in ways that would bother me have gone somewhere else. It all suits me just fine in a place like this.
Email: Friend or Foe
To be honest, I really couldn’t imagine what life would be like without email. The sad truth is that we depend on computers and communication tools like email and Facebook more than one-on-one interaction. It should just be a matter of time before the first Email Addicts Anonymous group session starts up.
I first realized that I had a problem when I was on a late Fall camping trip during first year. The first morning when I woke up, I wanted to check my email as per my usual routine. I found myself stressed and wondering “what if someone sent me something important.” My only consolation was that, as always, I had my cell, so if someone definitely, absolutely, really needed me, they could call. No-one did.
I started to think about how much time I actually wasted on email every day. I would check it in the morning before heading off to class, every time I went to the library the first thing I had to do after grabbing a coffee and before studying was check my email. And of course, after dinner and before bed. This seems ridiculous, but there always seemed to be a couple new messages from a classmate, family, or my club co-execs. Worse: those wonderful emails you get from Facebook every time someone posts something on your wall, tags you in a picture, or when you’re third cousin once removed breaks up with their partner who they’ve been seeing for 3 weeks.
I finally realized that the balance of the Universe would not be overly disrupted if I didn’t know 24-7 what was going on in my virtual world of communications. I changed my Facebook settings to stop the emails (best choice of my life!) and started to check my email inbox twice per day. Not only did it save me time, but it was a lot less stressful. I wondered less about whether someone had sent me an email, was staring at a computer screen way less (which actually makes sleeping easier and helps with headaches if you get them), and had more time to actually talk to people…face-to-face. Go figure.
Email and facebook really are things that you have to control. It is way too easy to become obsessed. If the first thing you want to do every morning is check your email or your Facebook, you have the problem too. Look out for the Email Addicts Anonymous near you!
I first realized that I had a problem when I was on a late Fall camping trip during first year. The first morning when I woke up, I wanted to check my email as per my usual routine. I found myself stressed and wondering “what if someone sent me something important.” My only consolation was that, as always, I had my cell, so if someone definitely, absolutely, really needed me, they could call. No-one did.
I started to think about how much time I actually wasted on email every day. I would check it in the morning before heading off to class, every time I went to the library the first thing I had to do after grabbing a coffee and before studying was check my email. And of course, after dinner and before bed. This seems ridiculous, but there always seemed to be a couple new messages from a classmate, family, or my club co-execs. Worse: those wonderful emails you get from Facebook every time someone posts something on your wall, tags you in a picture, or when you’re third cousin once removed breaks up with their partner who they’ve been seeing for 3 weeks.
I finally realized that the balance of the Universe would not be overly disrupted if I didn’t know 24-7 what was going on in my virtual world of communications. I changed my Facebook settings to stop the emails (best choice of my life!) and started to check my email inbox twice per day. Not only did it save me time, but it was a lot less stressful. I wondered less about whether someone had sent me an email, was staring at a computer screen way less (which actually makes sleeping easier and helps with headaches if you get them), and had more time to actually talk to people…face-to-face. Go figure.
Email and facebook really are things that you have to control. It is way too easy to become obsessed. If the first thing you want to do every morning is check your email or your Facebook, you have the problem too. Look out for the Email Addicts Anonymous near you!
Troubleshooting Computers
In one of my courses I was introduced to a new computer program. The Professor really talked it up, and said he wanted us to use it for our next assignment. His demo showed how cool and powerful it was, and it made me excited to learn it and to build a creative document using it. I did not expect the stress it would cause.
The new program required a lot of memory on the computer, which unfortunately mine does not have. About every five minutes it would all freeze on me, and I would have to reboot the computer. Sometimes I lost the work I'd actually managed to get done in my five-minute windows of opportunity.
I was making very little progress, so I had to find a solution. I started using the computers on campus but they weren't a whole lot better. Before I knew it the deadline was approaching and there were not enough computer lab hours left.
I headed to school really early the morning the project was due to try and finish it. Faced with more complications, I knew I was not going to complete my assignment. I just lost it. I went to my professor’s office crying. I was very embarrassed, but I had no choice but to choke back my tears and explain to him that I had not been able to finish my task. Luckily he was very understanding; he said that other people had also been having difficulties and that he was going to extend the due date for us. He just asked that I show him what I had done to date. A few days later, he received a new version of the program, and gave it to us to finish the assignment on. The new version wasn't perfect, but at least it didn't crash or freeze the computer.
Lessons: (1) You're stuck with the computer, but don't trust it. (2) Begin this kind of project early, so even if the thing betrays you, there's still time to do something. (3) Don't be afraid to talk to the Prof about something like this. (4) Kick the thing sometimes. It deserves it.
The new program required a lot of memory on the computer, which unfortunately mine does not have. About every five minutes it would all freeze on me, and I would have to reboot the computer. Sometimes I lost the work I'd actually managed to get done in my five-minute windows of opportunity.
I was making very little progress, so I had to find a solution. I started using the computers on campus but they weren't a whole lot better. Before I knew it the deadline was approaching and there were not enough computer lab hours left.
I headed to school really early the morning the project was due to try and finish it. Faced with more complications, I knew I was not going to complete my assignment. I just lost it. I went to my professor’s office crying. I was very embarrassed, but I had no choice but to choke back my tears and explain to him that I had not been able to finish my task. Luckily he was very understanding; he said that other people had also been having difficulties and that he was going to extend the due date for us. He just asked that I show him what I had done to date. A few days later, he received a new version of the program, and gave it to us to finish the assignment on. The new version wasn't perfect, but at least it didn't crash or freeze the computer.
Lessons: (1) You're stuck with the computer, but don't trust it. (2) Begin this kind of project early, so even if the thing betrays you, there's still time to do something. (3) Don't be afraid to talk to the Prof about something like this. (4) Kick the thing sometimes. It deserves it.
A Bad Beginning
I live in a residence on campus. It's part of the University Residence system, one of the options you can choose from. There are four rooms around a central kitchen, and a bathroom. The furniture is minimal, so you have to bring some of your own. Then of course there's a TV, a computer, and all the rest of the clothes and everything else. Surprising how much you have to bring with you, really.
Moving in on the first day was a terrible experience. Four sets of stairs to go up, and no elevator: well we knew about that when we made our original choice. But the parking spaces dedicated for arriving students were miles -- and two bridges, 34 steps, and a tunnel -- away. So my dad decided to pay a fortune for underground parking. Now everything had to be brought up on the elevator everyone else was using at the same time. Then we had to lug it across the road and up the four sets of stairs.
Next, a 20 minute wait in a chaotic mass of frustrated people to get the key, and we were ready to begin. We knew it was going to be a zoo, because of course everyone else was moving into the same building at the same time. The real shock, though, came when we opened the door to the apartment that was to be my home.
Stuff in the drawers and the closet. Hair everywhere. Food in the cupboards. Disgusting things just left in the fridge. A heap of garbage in every room. Carpets that were sticky and made your feet black when you walked on them. And the bathroom: ugh, ugh, ugh. The problem was that the previous occupants' moving-out deadline was at noon the same day, and they'd partied the previous night and recovered in the morning instead of cleaning up after themselves. You could see that from all the bottles. And from the bathroom.
At least the previous people weren't still there. In one of my friends' apartments, security had to be called to get them out.
My mom cried. At first she refused to bring stuff up, wanting to get the room cleaned up before all my stuff went into it. But of course it was a holiday, and there was nobody to complain to, just a recording when we phoned.
My new flatmates and their families, of course, had the same experience and felt the same way. Things did improve; we worked all night to get rid of most of the filth -- especially not fun in the bathroom, I can tell you. A few days later a crew came to steam-clean the carpets -- of course, nobody had told us they were coming, and they were mad that they had to wait while we moved stuff off the carpets and out into the hallway. It took a few days for the chemical smells to go away; I figure I've lost a few lung cells and maybe brain cells now.
It's OK now. In fact it's great now. We must be the most house-proud people around, because after all we went through, we're absolutely allergic to the slightest trace of garbage or dirt. We're proud of where we live, and we've enjoyed going out together shopping for pictures and lamps and things like that. One thing too: after we'd all been through such a dreadful experience together, we immediately found that we we'd become firm friends.
Moving in on the first day was a terrible experience. Four sets of stairs to go up, and no elevator: well we knew about that when we made our original choice. But the parking spaces dedicated for arriving students were miles -- and two bridges, 34 steps, and a tunnel -- away. So my dad decided to pay a fortune for underground parking. Now everything had to be brought up on the elevator everyone else was using at the same time. Then we had to lug it across the road and up the four sets of stairs.
Next, a 20 minute wait in a chaotic mass of frustrated people to get the key, and we were ready to begin. We knew it was going to be a zoo, because of course everyone else was moving into the same building at the same time. The real shock, though, came when we opened the door to the apartment that was to be my home.
Stuff in the drawers and the closet. Hair everywhere. Food in the cupboards. Disgusting things just left in the fridge. A heap of garbage in every room. Carpets that were sticky and made your feet black when you walked on them. And the bathroom: ugh, ugh, ugh. The problem was that the previous occupants' moving-out deadline was at noon the same day, and they'd partied the previous night and recovered in the morning instead of cleaning up after themselves. You could see that from all the bottles. And from the bathroom.
At least the previous people weren't still there. In one of my friends' apartments, security had to be called to get them out.
My mom cried. At first she refused to bring stuff up, wanting to get the room cleaned up before all my stuff went into it. But of course it was a holiday, and there was nobody to complain to, just a recording when we phoned.
My new flatmates and their families, of course, had the same experience and felt the same way. Things did improve; we worked all night to get rid of most of the filth -- especially not fun in the bathroom, I can tell you. A few days later a crew came to steam-clean the carpets -- of course, nobody had told us they were coming, and they were mad that they had to wait while we moved stuff off the carpets and out into the hallway. It took a few days for the chemical smells to go away; I figure I've lost a few lung cells and maybe brain cells now.
It's OK now. In fact it's great now. We must be the most house-proud people around, because after all we went through, we're absolutely allergic to the slightest trace of garbage or dirt. We're proud of where we live, and we've enjoyed going out together shopping for pictures and lamps and things like that. One thing too: after we'd all been through such a dreadful experience together, we immediately found that we we'd become firm friends.
The Pressure Cooker
During my first year of university I chose to live on a Res floor that was designated, "Special Interest for high achieving students". My hope was that I would be able to connect with students with similar interests.
While I did share some interests with my floor-mates I found that there was a lot of competition and stress as well. It felt like there was an underlying expectation to do well. It was as though school was supposed to be easy for us; if it wasn’t, then clearly you were doing something wrong, or maybe it was that you were just not good enough. For example, after a physics test or a calculus exam, everyone would compare answers, and if you were not in the majority, then you were looked down upon. I'm not sure whether this attitude was intended, whether it just happened, or whether it just seemed to happen. In any case, I did not like it.
I did learn to overcome it, but only by studying and completing school work in my room or off residence. So the University's intention when they put us all together didn't work out in my case. The idea must be that the competition inspires everyone to ever-greater heights of achievement. For me, it only underscored all my fears and all my uncertainties. I had to get away before I could function efficiently again.
Exam time was worse. The levels of stress became unbearable. It got to the point that if certain people came into a room, I would leave because they would be so frustrated with themselves that they would start to infect me too. There were people I studied in groups with for particular exams, but I preferred to avoid the students whose affliction was most extreme.
For next year, I've arranged to live with more normal kinds of people. Some aren't in the same program as me; they don't have labs, and their work seems to go at a much less frantic pace than ours does. I've enjoyed sometimes being with these people this year, and I'm looking forward to broadening my horizons with them next year.
Maybe the pressure cooker suits some people. But I've learned that it doesn't suit me.
While I did share some interests with my floor-mates I found that there was a lot of competition and stress as well. It felt like there was an underlying expectation to do well. It was as though school was supposed to be easy for us; if it wasn’t, then clearly you were doing something wrong, or maybe it was that you were just not good enough. For example, after a physics test or a calculus exam, everyone would compare answers, and if you were not in the majority, then you were looked down upon. I'm not sure whether this attitude was intended, whether it just happened, or whether it just seemed to happen. In any case, I did not like it.
I did learn to overcome it, but only by studying and completing school work in my room or off residence. So the University's intention when they put us all together didn't work out in my case. The idea must be that the competition inspires everyone to ever-greater heights of achievement. For me, it only underscored all my fears and all my uncertainties. I had to get away before I could function efficiently again.
Exam time was worse. The levels of stress became unbearable. It got to the point that if certain people came into a room, I would leave because they would be so frustrated with themselves that they would start to infect me too. There were people I studied in groups with for particular exams, but I preferred to avoid the students whose affliction was most extreme.
For next year, I've arranged to live with more normal kinds of people. Some aren't in the same program as me; they don't have labs, and their work seems to go at a much less frantic pace than ours does. I've enjoyed sometimes being with these people this year, and I'm looking forward to broadening my horizons with them next year.
Maybe the pressure cooker suits some people. But I've learned that it doesn't suit me.
Monday, June 29, 2009
I Used Stimulants
I had to use stimulants. I resisted it for a long time but eventually, there seemed to be no alternative. I always had fifty hours of work to do in the next two days. The math only worked if I did without sleep, and here seemed to be a simple solution.
I found that instead of working myself to the bone while constantly craving sleep, I was alert, happy and focused. I could maintain a full courseload, participate in as many extracurriculars as I wanted, complete my homework in time and party til I dropped, or should have dropped, without wasting any time. I had squeezed every ounce of performance and productivity out of myself that was possible. And was able to still have fun.
I told myself I needed the competitive advantage. I could still have been good without them. But with them, I was better.
I didn't really think it was different than working under the influence of caffeine or nicotine. There's no disgrace in using these mood-altering substances to enhance your ability to concentrate, to achieve, and to enjoy. And I'm not even going to mention alcohol. So why the big deal about stimulants?
You might notice that all of what’s written here is in the past tense. Have my attitude and my habits changed?
Yes. But that's another story. And I'm not going to let you in on it.
I found that instead of working myself to the bone while constantly craving sleep, I was alert, happy and focused. I could maintain a full courseload, participate in as many extracurriculars as I wanted, complete my homework in time and party til I dropped, or should have dropped, without wasting any time. I had squeezed every ounce of performance and productivity out of myself that was possible. And was able to still have fun.
I told myself I needed the competitive advantage. I could still have been good without them. But with them, I was better.
I didn't really think it was different than working under the influence of caffeine or nicotine. There's no disgrace in using these mood-altering substances to enhance your ability to concentrate, to achieve, and to enjoy. And I'm not even going to mention alcohol. So why the big deal about stimulants?
You might notice that all of what’s written here is in the past tense. Have my attitude and my habits changed?
Yes. But that's another story. And I'm not going to let you in on it.
Selective Wisdom
Some of the hardest lessons I ever learned at University were that a) no, I’m not perfect, and b) even Super Woman couldn’t get all this reading done on time.
You have to pick and choose what’s more important. Look at your course outlines and figure out how the prof handles the exams. What is the layout? How much is each question worth? A perfect example of what I am talking about is my Ancient History course. You want to try reading 50-100 pages of ancient texts for Monday’s class, then 40 more for Thursday’s class? Of course not.
My prof set the exam up so that we had to identify 3 historical readings out of 5. For each, we had to give the name of the author, the historical context, and the importance of the passage. I got away without doing the readings because I knew that the midterm would be OK with only Herodotus, Thucydides, and Plutarch. Now Plutarch only wrote bibliographies, so that was easy. Herodotus wrote everything up to the end of the Persian War, and Thucydides wrote about the Peloponnesian War. Each author only wrote about one topic. Knowing only this, it would be easy in the exam to identify the passage. I was able to pass up on reading hundreds of pages of reading that I had no time for.
Seriously, take a good look through your course outlines, figure out how the exams are done, and see if there are shortcuts. For most of your courses you won’t be able to do this, but if you can, I highly suggest it.
You have to pick and choose what’s more important. Look at your course outlines and figure out how the prof handles the exams. What is the layout? How much is each question worth? A perfect example of what I am talking about is my Ancient History course. You want to try reading 50-100 pages of ancient texts for Monday’s class, then 40 more for Thursday’s class? Of course not.
My prof set the exam up so that we had to identify 3 historical readings out of 5. For each, we had to give the name of the author, the historical context, and the importance of the passage. I got away without doing the readings because I knew that the midterm would be OK with only Herodotus, Thucydides, and Plutarch. Now Plutarch only wrote bibliographies, so that was easy. Herodotus wrote everything up to the end of the Persian War, and Thucydides wrote about the Peloponnesian War. Each author only wrote about one topic. Knowing only this, it would be easy in the exam to identify the passage. I was able to pass up on reading hundreds of pages of reading that I had no time for.
Seriously, take a good look through your course outlines, figure out how the exams are done, and see if there are shortcuts. For most of your courses you won’t be able to do this, but if you can, I highly suggest it.
Stickies Saved My Life
You see that title? Yeah, I’m not joking; they really did.
I’m one of those people that requires lists to stay organized. No matter what, if I don’t have them, at the end of the day I’ll feel as if I’ve forgotten something. Did I get that history reading done? Did I remember to email my prof about that assignment? Did I go through all those books, or just look at the one? My mind would be plagued with doubts, I wouldn’t be able to sleep properly -- and if you learn anything at University, it’ll be that without a good night’s sleep every now and then, you can’t function.
My advice? If you need to remember something, use a sticky note and put it where you can’t not run into it. I always stuck them to my laptop or on my mirror. For me at least, electronic lists or electronic stickies don't work, because they wouldn't be insistent enough. You can’t hide from the persuasive power of florescent pink, yellow or green notes wherever you turn. Do it, it’ll help. Especially when a due date is fast approaching. Trust me.
I’m one of those people that requires lists to stay organized. No matter what, if I don’t have them, at the end of the day I’ll feel as if I’ve forgotten something. Did I get that history reading done? Did I remember to email my prof about that assignment? Did I go through all those books, or just look at the one? My mind would be plagued with doubts, I wouldn’t be able to sleep properly -- and if you learn anything at University, it’ll be that without a good night’s sleep every now and then, you can’t function.
My advice? If you need to remember something, use a sticky note and put it where you can’t not run into it. I always stuck them to my laptop or on my mirror. For me at least, electronic lists or electronic stickies don't work, because they wouldn't be insistent enough. You can’t hide from the persuasive power of florescent pink, yellow or green notes wherever you turn. Do it, it’ll help. Especially when a due date is fast approaching. Trust me.
Boys will be Boys; Respect Yourself
University is full of surprises. When I came to school, I had this deluded idea of finding Mr. Right. Everyone seems to leave University at the end of their four years with a partner and I figured I would meet mine during my first year. Wrong. Boys in first year only want sex. They just want to get your pants off. At least the ones I met anyway. They were usually blatant about the fact that they just wanted to fool around.
Is it my fault I thought I could change his mind? That I stuck around long enough to get hurt? Yeah, it is. If someone is honest enough to tell you the truth, take it at face value and be friends. Unless all you want is to fool around – in that case, all the power to you.
The first boy I didn’t believe. I figured that he would be won over by my sheer awesomeness and fall for me. He didn’t, and I held out. In the end, holding out was all that mattered, but I did continue to go out with him. I was right about him though; he ended up moving on to another girl in a few weeks. He probably did get to sleep with her pretty quickly.
Now the second boy, I had actually grown to really like over the course of the year. But he was another one of those dastardly boys who didn’t want to be tied down. I didn’t tie him down and I didn’t sleep with him. He remained intensely frustrated with me until I left for summer break. I’m over him now. He’s probably moved on to someone more willing to get naked for him.
Seriously, if he can’t like you for more than what’s in your pants, then move on and find someone who respects you and values you. I guess there's nothing wrong with it if you sleep with someone who wants nothing else from you and then can still look at yourself in the mirror the next morning. But I couldn't.
Is it my fault I thought I could change his mind? That I stuck around long enough to get hurt? Yeah, it is. If someone is honest enough to tell you the truth, take it at face value and be friends. Unless all you want is to fool around – in that case, all the power to you.
The first boy I didn’t believe. I figured that he would be won over by my sheer awesomeness and fall for me. He didn’t, and I held out. In the end, holding out was all that mattered, but I did continue to go out with him. I was right about him though; he ended up moving on to another girl in a few weeks. He probably did get to sleep with her pretty quickly.
Now the second boy, I had actually grown to really like over the course of the year. But he was another one of those dastardly boys who didn’t want to be tied down. I didn’t tie him down and I didn’t sleep with him. He remained intensely frustrated with me until I left for summer break. I’m over him now. He’s probably moved on to someone more willing to get naked for him.
Seriously, if he can’t like you for more than what’s in your pants, then move on and find someone who respects you and values you. I guess there's nothing wrong with it if you sleep with someone who wants nothing else from you and then can still look at yourself in the mirror the next morning. But I couldn't.
University will Change You
University will change you! No matter what. Some days you struggle so much that you just want to drop out; you have so much homework that you are working at it for hours straight, often right through the night, and then have to run to class to have your paper in on time. Other days, mostly Fridays, will be exhilarating. In the morning you get a much laboured over essay returned with a good grade, and in the evening, an awesome party. It can be a very demanding life, but a good one as well.
Class doesn’t end when you leave the lecture hall; it continues when you get home and have to do homework. Some would say that what's really important only begins when you get down to work at home.
There's the cooking and cleaning and grocery shopping; it was a pain in the beginning but after a few months, it has become natural -- in fact it feels like a holiday from the severe demands of the previous few hours. I still get the urge to eat out during exams or when I am feeling lazy, but I have now discovered online recipes for easy dining which has really motivated me to cook at home instead of pig out on fast food.
Since I moved to school, I have turned into a clean freak. I cannot sleep or study in my room without it being clean, and I hate a dirty kitchen with dishes everywhere. Yet when I lived at home, it didn’t bother me at all. Ask my mom.
I get along really well with my roommate. We both have flaws; her main one is that she is a little messy. It never gets out of hand, so I do a little extra on that side of things. What I do that irritates her -- no, you'd need to ask her about that! I have gotten used to the fact that trying to please each other will always take work on both our parts.
One thing that was really shocking to me is the amount of damage that can be done to your residence floor. I found it crazy how a bunch of drunks could ruin such a nice looking floor in one night. I didn't like that one bit.
Nothing has really frightened me yet. Despite occasional run-ins with my roommate and the stresses of exam time, I have had a great experience thus far for the most part. Even though I wouldn’t have said it in September, I love being here, far from home, where I can be independent and do everything for myself.
My piece of advice. If you really want to go somewhere, do it. Sure, you'll miss your old friends at first, and it will be hard to arrive knowing no one at all. But with all the new friends you make so quickly, all the new classes given by people with absolutely awesome knowledge, and all the challenges to overcome, you will grow to love it.
Class doesn’t end when you leave the lecture hall; it continues when you get home and have to do homework. Some would say that what's really important only begins when you get down to work at home.
There's the cooking and cleaning and grocery shopping; it was a pain in the beginning but after a few months, it has become natural -- in fact it feels like a holiday from the severe demands of the previous few hours. I still get the urge to eat out during exams or when I am feeling lazy, but I have now discovered online recipes for easy dining which has really motivated me to cook at home instead of pig out on fast food.
Since I moved to school, I have turned into a clean freak. I cannot sleep or study in my room without it being clean, and I hate a dirty kitchen with dishes everywhere. Yet when I lived at home, it didn’t bother me at all. Ask my mom.
I get along really well with my roommate. We both have flaws; her main one is that she is a little messy. It never gets out of hand, so I do a little extra on that side of things. What I do that irritates her -- no, you'd need to ask her about that! I have gotten used to the fact that trying to please each other will always take work on both our parts.
One thing that was really shocking to me is the amount of damage that can be done to your residence floor. I found it crazy how a bunch of drunks could ruin such a nice looking floor in one night. I didn't like that one bit.
Nothing has really frightened me yet. Despite occasional run-ins with my roommate and the stresses of exam time, I have had a great experience thus far for the most part. Even though I wouldn’t have said it in September, I love being here, far from home, where I can be independent and do everything for myself.
My piece of advice. If you really want to go somewhere, do it. Sure, you'll miss your old friends at first, and it will be hard to arrive knowing no one at all. But with all the new friends you make so quickly, all the new classes given by people with absolutely awesome knowledge, and all the challenges to overcome, you will grow to love it.
A Word to the Wise: Registering for Classes
One of the most important things you can do in university is this: when you receive the date and time you're allowed to register for next year's classes, do it! I don't care if you have to take off work or get up early. It's so important to register the second your allotted time starts.
I found this out the hard way going into second year. I registered a few days after my selected time, and pretty much all the classes I wanted at the times that fitted together were full. My second year sucked because I got stuck with mostly essay courses, early times, late nights, no breaks, and bad professors. I learned my lesson and the following year registered at the time they assigned to me, 9am. Needless to say, I had a much better third year.
Although you can't help but take some classes at crappy times or get a professor you don't want, you can still manage to have a pretty good schedule if you just simply register when you're supposed to.
I found this out the hard way going into second year. I registered a few days after my selected time, and pretty much all the classes I wanted at the times that fitted together were full. My second year sucked because I got stuck with mostly essay courses, early times, late nights, no breaks, and bad professors. I learned my lesson and the following year registered at the time they assigned to me, 9am. Needless to say, I had a much better third year.
Although you can't help but take some classes at crappy times or get a professor you don't want, you can still manage to have a pretty good schedule if you just simply register when you're supposed to.
Crisis Averted:
When you’re in University you will meet all kinds of different people and they will all affect you in different ways. You may meet the outgoing socialite, or the friendly stoner, or maybe you’ll chum up to the tall, broad-shouldered jock. But of all the people you meet, beware of the unstable.
During my first year of University I knew a guy named Rick; he seemed like a nice guy yet there was something about him that made me wary, made me hesitate about forming a friendship with him. But in this day and age, of the hundred people you run up against frequently, maybe half (if that) are your close friends or even friends that you hang out with on a regular basis. Well Rick was one of those guys on my msn that I knew, may have hung out with in a group a few times, but who I really wasn’t close with.
One day in late March I had the bad luck to randomly start a conversation with Rick online. It started out normal, you know, “how’s your day going?” etc. Then he turned on me. I wasn’t a good enough friend. I didn’t care enough. Everyone hated him.
I didn’t know what to do. He started talking about killing himself; I told him he was overreacting. He said he’d tried it before and he’d do it again. I wanted out -- this wasn’t my problem, he wasn’t my friend. But I couldn’t stop talking to him: what if he was serious? I didn’t even like this guy; he was a jerk! But he was another human being and I couldn’t just leave, couldn’t just back out. If something happened I would forever blame myself.
I started texting everyone I knew who was closer to Rick then I was. No one was replying. I was starting to lose it. My chest was tightening, tears were welling up at the corners of my eyes and I was starting to hyperventilate. I wanted nothing to do with this; I was completely out of my depth.
Then my phone beeped. I had finally received a reply!
My buddy Kyle was going to take care of it. He was talking to Rick online and was trying to calm him down. He told Rick to stop screwing with me, to stop messing with my head and to leave me alone. He went over to Rick’s, pounded on his door and told him straight up that he was overreacting, that all his friends were there for him.
I turned off my computer, sat down and cried. I was scared.
You see Rick was somehow making me feel like all of this mess revolved around me and like it was all my fault. He was trying to guilt-trip me in a futile attempt to make himself feel better. What had really happened was that he had gotten into a fight with his best friend and didn’t know if they were going to be friends anymore. He had panicked, and that can happen to people. But that doesn’t mean you turn around and target someone. You need your friends more now than ever, so don't antagonize them. If you need to talk, if something is bothering you, there is always someone willing to listen.
In the end everything turned out fine. Kyle told me that he'd persuaded Rick to get some help from the University Clinic. But I never talked to Rick again; I had such bad vibes from him, and I didn’t need that kind of emotional stress on my plate. Some people may think what I did was cowardly, but then you’ve probably never had someone that wasn’t a friend, who wasn’t someone you liked, threaten to kill themselves and tell you that it was because they were angry with you. That is not your battle to fight if you can’t win it. I couldn’t, but I found someone who could and that is all that matters.
Crisis averted.
During my first year of University I knew a guy named Rick; he seemed like a nice guy yet there was something about him that made me wary, made me hesitate about forming a friendship with him. But in this day and age, of the hundred people you run up against frequently, maybe half (if that) are your close friends or even friends that you hang out with on a regular basis. Well Rick was one of those guys on my msn that I knew, may have hung out with in a group a few times, but who I really wasn’t close with.
One day in late March I had the bad luck to randomly start a conversation with Rick online. It started out normal, you know, “how’s your day going?” etc. Then he turned on me. I wasn’t a good enough friend. I didn’t care enough. Everyone hated him.
I didn’t know what to do. He started talking about killing himself; I told him he was overreacting. He said he’d tried it before and he’d do it again. I wanted out -- this wasn’t my problem, he wasn’t my friend. But I couldn’t stop talking to him: what if he was serious? I didn’t even like this guy; he was a jerk! But he was another human being and I couldn’t just leave, couldn’t just back out. If something happened I would forever blame myself.
I started texting everyone I knew who was closer to Rick then I was. No one was replying. I was starting to lose it. My chest was tightening, tears were welling up at the corners of my eyes and I was starting to hyperventilate. I wanted nothing to do with this; I was completely out of my depth.
Then my phone beeped. I had finally received a reply!
My buddy Kyle was going to take care of it. He was talking to Rick online and was trying to calm him down. He told Rick to stop screwing with me, to stop messing with my head and to leave me alone. He went over to Rick’s, pounded on his door and told him straight up that he was overreacting, that all his friends were there for him.
I turned off my computer, sat down and cried. I was scared.
You see Rick was somehow making me feel like all of this mess revolved around me and like it was all my fault. He was trying to guilt-trip me in a futile attempt to make himself feel better. What had really happened was that he had gotten into a fight with his best friend and didn’t know if they were going to be friends anymore. He had panicked, and that can happen to people. But that doesn’t mean you turn around and target someone. You need your friends more now than ever, so don't antagonize them. If you need to talk, if something is bothering you, there is always someone willing to listen.
In the end everything turned out fine. Kyle told me that he'd persuaded Rick to get some help from the University Clinic. But I never talked to Rick again; I had such bad vibes from him, and I didn’t need that kind of emotional stress on my plate. Some people may think what I did was cowardly, but then you’ve probably never had someone that wasn’t a friend, who wasn’t someone you liked, threaten to kill themselves and tell you that it was because they were angry with you. That is not your battle to fight if you can’t win it. I couldn’t, but I found someone who could and that is all that matters.
Crisis averted.
Be Careful, Be Safe:
When in University you will meet many people that you may want to instantly trust. Don’t. I’m not normally cynical, but no one deserves your trust until they’ve earned it and many people will end up surprising you.
I had a friend in school, Mark, whose good friend and roommate turned on him three quarters through the year. You see, Mark’s friend Greg was slightly unbalanced but no one truly realized to what extent. Sometime in February, Greg was cheating on his girlfriend, Susan, with a girl named Hannah and the only person he told was Mark. He gave Mark details. Now when Greg found out that Susan was also cheating on him, he flipped. It didn’t seem to concern him that he was being a hypocrite, and there was no reasoning with his fury. Obviously, it was a complete and final end to their relationship.
One night at a party, Hannah had too much to drink and got in a big argument with Mark about Greg. She absolutely lost it, and freaked out at him. Mark, whose nerves were also shot from the constant drama of living with Greg, went up one side of her and down the other. He called her countless names which clued her into the fact that Mark obviously knew she was sleeping with Greg.
Hannah left Greg.
Greg went from having two girls to having none. He was furious at his girlfriend for cheating on him, Hannah for leaving him, and Mark for spilling the beans. Who do you think got the brunt of all this anger? Mark.
The same day that Hannah left, Greg tried to stab Mark with a pair of scissors. Lucky for Mark, he was twice the size of Greg. Mark contacted campus security and Greg was kicked off campus. His mother came and collected his things within the week.
Greg went through some therapy over the incident, changed rooms, and is doing fine now. It just goes to show that you can’t trust everyone. If someone doesn’t seem “right”, they probably aren’t. Don't be like Hannah and Mark and Greg. Be careful, be safe.
I had a friend in school, Mark, whose good friend and roommate turned on him three quarters through the year. You see, Mark’s friend Greg was slightly unbalanced but no one truly realized to what extent. Sometime in February, Greg was cheating on his girlfriend, Susan, with a girl named Hannah and the only person he told was Mark. He gave Mark details. Now when Greg found out that Susan was also cheating on him, he flipped. It didn’t seem to concern him that he was being a hypocrite, and there was no reasoning with his fury. Obviously, it was a complete and final end to their relationship.
One night at a party, Hannah had too much to drink and got in a big argument with Mark about Greg. She absolutely lost it, and freaked out at him. Mark, whose nerves were also shot from the constant drama of living with Greg, went up one side of her and down the other. He called her countless names which clued her into the fact that Mark obviously knew she was sleeping with Greg.
Hannah left Greg.
Greg went from having two girls to having none. He was furious at his girlfriend for cheating on him, Hannah for leaving him, and Mark for spilling the beans. Who do you think got the brunt of all this anger? Mark.
The same day that Hannah left, Greg tried to stab Mark with a pair of scissors. Lucky for Mark, he was twice the size of Greg. Mark contacted campus security and Greg was kicked off campus. His mother came and collected his things within the week.
Greg went through some therapy over the incident, changed rooms, and is doing fine now. It just goes to show that you can’t trust everyone. If someone doesn’t seem “right”, they probably aren’t. Don't be like Hannah and Mark and Greg. Be careful, be safe.
Striking A Balance….
One of the hardest parts of first year university is striking a new balance in your life. From moving away from home to sharing a bedroom to having classes that are much more challenging and involve way more independent work than ever before, to meeting all new friends and finding your place in a new environment -- first year presents enormous numbers of new experiences, good, bad, and a mixture of the two.
My residence floor stayed up the entire night after move-in day talking and getting to know each other. We became like a family almost instantly and bonded more throughout frosh week. And then, of course, there are all the random people you’ll meet and grow to love over frosh week. Frosh week is one of the only times, ever, where you’ll be able to go up to anyone at all, introduce yourself, and instantly have a new friend. This was one of my favourite parts of coming to university, and also, with the possible exception of the exams, the most intense.
The week ended with the faculty of music serenading the campus with “Frosh Week Forever” to the beat of a song by some heavy metal rock group. And it did seem like frosh week could go on forever, but then those dreaded classes started. Wasn’t university supposed to be all about the social scene? My first round of midterms said otherwise. Fortunately, in most programs, you can redeem yourself as long as you don’t leave it too late before taking action.
My favourite (and most academically destructive part) of first year was living with all of my new best friends. When I was tired of studying, tired of chatting on msn or facebook, or even just tired in general, I could walk next door and hang out for hours on end. Spending 3 hours in the dining hall for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (each, of course) seemed natural. And then there was that ‘S’ word that everyone seems to forget about when they come to university…sleep.
My first two months of university were amazing. There had been so many things that were so enjoyable. I don’t regret anything, and wish I could relive every moment. But after that first midterm I realized that if I was going to continue on to second year, I needed to strike a better balance. I had enjoyed partying as much as I wanted and eating as much as I wanted. But now payback time had arrived in the form of my low midterm marks. I realized that I needed to set boundaries and learn some sort of discipline. I could party every night and have fun, I could lock myself in the room and study, or I could find a happy medium. The key to my taking control was realizing the consequences.
I didn't find it at all easy to organize my life in a more efficient way. It was a real struggle to balance things. I began to schedule some library time into all my days. Instead of using that two-hour afternoon break in class to go back to residence and nap, I hit the library and got readings done. I was shocked that I could get almost all my prelabs and reading done by just using the time I had between classes. I also started printing off my notes before every class, getting at least 6 hours of sleep every night, and studying on a weekly basis instead of cramming before exams.
Now that everyone reading this is probably snoozing, I need to point out that because of all this I actually felt like I had more time to hang out with my friends. My evenings and weekends were basically free because of the way I scheduled my days, and I never had to feel guilty about all the work I should be doing when I was procrastinating and wasting time. I boosted my marks after midterms, ended up getting the marks I'd expected of myself, and still had a BLAST!
Frosh week should be one of the best weeks of your life. So should the first month of school when life can go by in a more agreeable way than ever before. Enjoy it and make the most of it. But don't let it go on too long.
My residence floor stayed up the entire night after move-in day talking and getting to know each other. We became like a family almost instantly and bonded more throughout frosh week. And then, of course, there are all the random people you’ll meet and grow to love over frosh week. Frosh week is one of the only times, ever, where you’ll be able to go up to anyone at all, introduce yourself, and instantly have a new friend. This was one of my favourite parts of coming to university, and also, with the possible exception of the exams, the most intense.
The week ended with the faculty of music serenading the campus with “Frosh Week Forever” to the beat of a song by some heavy metal rock group. And it did seem like frosh week could go on forever, but then those dreaded classes started. Wasn’t university supposed to be all about the social scene? My first round of midterms said otherwise. Fortunately, in most programs, you can redeem yourself as long as you don’t leave it too late before taking action.
My favourite (and most academically destructive part) of first year was living with all of my new best friends. When I was tired of studying, tired of chatting on msn or facebook, or even just tired in general, I could walk next door and hang out for hours on end. Spending 3 hours in the dining hall for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (each, of course) seemed natural. And then there was that ‘S’ word that everyone seems to forget about when they come to university…sleep.
My first two months of university were amazing. There had been so many things that were so enjoyable. I don’t regret anything, and wish I could relive every moment. But after that first midterm I realized that if I was going to continue on to second year, I needed to strike a better balance. I had enjoyed partying as much as I wanted and eating as much as I wanted. But now payback time had arrived in the form of my low midterm marks. I realized that I needed to set boundaries and learn some sort of discipline. I could party every night and have fun, I could lock myself in the room and study, or I could find a happy medium. The key to my taking control was realizing the consequences.
I didn't find it at all easy to organize my life in a more efficient way. It was a real struggle to balance things. I began to schedule some library time into all my days. Instead of using that two-hour afternoon break in class to go back to residence and nap, I hit the library and got readings done. I was shocked that I could get almost all my prelabs and reading done by just using the time I had between classes. I also started printing off my notes before every class, getting at least 6 hours of sleep every night, and studying on a weekly basis instead of cramming before exams.
Now that everyone reading this is probably snoozing, I need to point out that because of all this I actually felt like I had more time to hang out with my friends. My evenings and weekends were basically free because of the way I scheduled my days, and I never had to feel guilty about all the work I should be doing when I was procrastinating and wasting time. I boosted my marks after midterms, ended up getting the marks I'd expected of myself, and still had a BLAST!
Frosh week should be one of the best weeks of your life. So should the first month of school when life can go by in a more agreeable way than ever before. Enjoy it and make the most of it. But don't let it go on too long.
Rehab: Just in Time
Profs aren't going to keep telling you to stay off your phone or stay off facebook. They're not going to remind you about what needs to be done. Their job is to teach you, not to be your parent. They won't normally even tell you you're at risk of failing. If you don't pay attention, or fail to hand things in, or hand in mediocre work because you didn't give it the time it needed, it’s not their problem. It's yours. The decisions are all your to make; you just have to plan well enough, and control yourself well enough to decide what’s more important (easy), and then to do it (not easy at all).
Of course, you'll have learned by now that almost everything needs more time than you expected, never less. Maybe previously in your life, you had someone to help you make decisions like this, or some routine that you were used to and could stick to. Now you don't.
First term, I fell into all the traps. I had a lot of hangovers. I missed a lot of lectures, and even when I went I didn't make proper notes. I didn't begin my papers soon enough, and I didn't spend nearly enough time on them. I was never prepared for classes, or seminars, or tests.
Or the December exams.
Rehab was hard for me. Christmas meant feeling humiliated and sorry for myself. Then I realized that University is all about learning to take responsibility for yourself, to manage your time, and to improve your self control. It's about learning not to need crutches to keep you on the road and out of the gutter. Do that, and the rest follows.
Now it's almost the end of the year, and I feel great! But I look back a few months, and it scares me to think how close I came to losing everything.
Of course, you'll have learned by now that almost everything needs more time than you expected, never less. Maybe previously in your life, you had someone to help you make decisions like this, or some routine that you were used to and could stick to. Now you don't.
First term, I fell into all the traps. I had a lot of hangovers. I missed a lot of lectures, and even when I went I didn't make proper notes. I didn't begin my papers soon enough, and I didn't spend nearly enough time on them. I was never prepared for classes, or seminars, or tests.
Or the December exams.
Rehab was hard for me. Christmas meant feeling humiliated and sorry for myself. Then I realized that University is all about learning to take responsibility for yourself, to manage your time, and to improve your self control. It's about learning not to need crutches to keep you on the road and out of the gutter. Do that, and the rest follows.
Now it's almost the end of the year, and I feel great! But I look back a few months, and it scares me to think how close I came to losing everything.
Should You buy a Laptop?
When I came to University, a big concern for many students was whether or not laptops were necessary. Most people asked this question because they didn’t have one and wanted to know whether pestering their parents for a new computer was necessary for their university education. After all, this wasn’t high school anymore and for some reason using paper and pencil seemed archaic and unsophisticated. You can’t really blame people for feeling this way. We’ve all seen college movies where students at Harvard or Princeton are sitting in some eccentric professor’s lecture typing away on their laptops. But do the movies really represent reality? Do you really need that laptop for your first year? Simple answer: No. Complicated answer: It depends.
I say no, because you can get by without having one. I know a few people who chose to only bring desktop computers to university, and they do just as fine. I’ll take this moment to offer a mild digression. I think that computers these days are indispensable. You will need something to type your essays on at 3 am in the morning when your library is closed, or when looking at whatever it is that you want to look at on the internet in the privacy of your own home/room. Without any computer whatsoever, you really lose out on the independence of what is considered a necessary tool for anything these days. So I am not saying you don't need a computer at all. You do.
Back to the question at hand: it differs from person to person. People who have laptops tend to take them everywhere they go. (Well, maybe not to drunken binges). That would be fine, except for one important thing: the internet. The internet is google, so that if there's something about what the Prof says that you want to know more about, you can. It's the University site, with all the Prof's PowerPoint slides and notes on it. But it's also movies (yes, you see people watching them during lectures), chat, Skype, email, and worst of all of course: Facebook. All addictive as heroin. Especially Facebook. Lectures are full of students just feeding their addictions. Some say they can multitask. But most Profs really need your complete attention if you want to get the most out of what they're teaching.
Sometimes they might seem to be droning on, reading off the screen, or just talking about things that are completely boring. They see it as important, though, and they're the ones writing the exams that you'll be taking. Even when you have the lecture notes in front of you and it seems like nothing relevant is being added to the notes in lecture, every prof drops little hints about what's more likely to come up on the exam. They might be as obvious as a green star popping up next to a point, or as subtle as a raise in tone and extra few minutes spent on a concept. Picking up on these cues can save you a lot of time studying!
Even if you can’t find the cues, actually listening in lecture is extra exposure to the material in a different form than just reading notes, and it helps! I began turning off my cell, and disengaging my wireless internet as soon as I downloaded lecture notes to avoid the temptation of distractions. When finals rolled around a month and a half after my “technological epiphany,” I had to study less and seemed to remember a lot more when reviewing my notes. It was a huge stress reliever when I realized that the word "FINALS" didn’t really have to just be an acronym for, “F$#%, I Never Actually Learned this Sh#@.”
I suppose the University could line all the lecture halls with foil, or put in transmitters that fatally interfered with wi-fi signals. But that would spark a huge revolt. Besides, there would still be smartphones, texting, and so on unless they cut off that signal too.
But some people have more of a need to take a laptop to classes. Take me for example. My handwriting is akin to a 5 year old trying to write for the first time. Sometimes it’s so illegible that even I can’t read it. Not to mention that my hand gets cramped because I never learned how to properly hold a pencil and as a result I can’t write notes fast enough and I think it might give me juvenile arthritis if I actually tried for too long. However, I have been using chat sites since I was about 10 and I’ve gotten really good at typing things very fast. Not to mention I practically live on the internet, so computers are second nature to me and I feel a lot more comfortable with a keyboard at my fingertips than with a stack of paper.
That being said, I know plenty of people who choose to bring only paper and pens to class because they say that they can remember things a lot better once they physically write them out. A girl I know even writes them out fully in class and later that day goes home to copy them verbatim onto her computer. Different people, learn very differently, and you might find that the electronic way of keeping data doesn’t cut it for you. Have you ever got completely immersed in an e-book the way you have with a paperback? Me neither. (To the ten of you who answered yes to that, kudos to you – your focusing skills must be extraordinary.)
It really is all about preference. If you feel a laptop won’t suit your needs or your desires, don’t sweat it. There is nothing pressuring you to get one or to change your study habits to go with the latest flow. But know yourself, and don't be weak. I guess students have always found something to be distracted by. But I think it's easier to do that now because of the technology. So control it; don't let it control you.
I say no, because you can get by without having one. I know a few people who chose to only bring desktop computers to university, and they do just as fine. I’ll take this moment to offer a mild digression. I think that computers these days are indispensable. You will need something to type your essays on at 3 am in the morning when your library is closed, or when looking at whatever it is that you want to look at on the internet in the privacy of your own home/room. Without any computer whatsoever, you really lose out on the independence of what is considered a necessary tool for anything these days. So I am not saying you don't need a computer at all. You do.
Back to the question at hand: it differs from person to person. People who have laptops tend to take them everywhere they go. (Well, maybe not to drunken binges). That would be fine, except for one important thing: the internet. The internet is google, so that if there's something about what the Prof says that you want to know more about, you can. It's the University site, with all the Prof's PowerPoint slides and notes on it. But it's also movies (yes, you see people watching them during lectures), chat, Skype, email, and worst of all of course: Facebook. All addictive as heroin. Especially Facebook. Lectures are full of students just feeding their addictions. Some say they can multitask. But most Profs really need your complete attention if you want to get the most out of what they're teaching.
Sometimes they might seem to be droning on, reading off the screen, or just talking about things that are completely boring. They see it as important, though, and they're the ones writing the exams that you'll be taking. Even when you have the lecture notes in front of you and it seems like nothing relevant is being added to the notes in lecture, every prof drops little hints about what's more likely to come up on the exam. They might be as obvious as a green star popping up next to a point, or as subtle as a raise in tone and extra few minutes spent on a concept. Picking up on these cues can save you a lot of time studying!
Even if you can’t find the cues, actually listening in lecture is extra exposure to the material in a different form than just reading notes, and it helps! I began turning off my cell, and disengaging my wireless internet as soon as I downloaded lecture notes to avoid the temptation of distractions. When finals rolled around a month and a half after my “technological epiphany,” I had to study less and seemed to remember a lot more when reviewing my notes. It was a huge stress reliever when I realized that the word "FINALS" didn’t really have to just be an acronym for, “F$#%, I Never Actually Learned this Sh#@.”
I suppose the University could line all the lecture halls with foil, or put in transmitters that fatally interfered with wi-fi signals. But that would spark a huge revolt. Besides, there would still be smartphones, texting, and so on unless they cut off that signal too.
But some people have more of a need to take a laptop to classes. Take me for example. My handwriting is akin to a 5 year old trying to write for the first time. Sometimes it’s so illegible that even I can’t read it. Not to mention that my hand gets cramped because I never learned how to properly hold a pencil and as a result I can’t write notes fast enough and I think it might give me juvenile arthritis if I actually tried for too long. However, I have been using chat sites since I was about 10 and I’ve gotten really good at typing things very fast. Not to mention I practically live on the internet, so computers are second nature to me and I feel a lot more comfortable with a keyboard at my fingertips than with a stack of paper.
That being said, I know plenty of people who choose to bring only paper and pens to class because they say that they can remember things a lot better once they physically write them out. A girl I know even writes them out fully in class and later that day goes home to copy them verbatim onto her computer. Different people, learn very differently, and you might find that the electronic way of keeping data doesn’t cut it for you. Have you ever got completely immersed in an e-book the way you have with a paperback? Me neither. (To the ten of you who answered yes to that, kudos to you – your focusing skills must be extraordinary.)
It really is all about preference. If you feel a laptop won’t suit your needs or your desires, don’t sweat it. There is nothing pressuring you to get one or to change your study habits to go with the latest flow. But know yourself, and don't be weak. I guess students have always found something to be distracted by. But I think it's easier to do that now because of the technology. So control it; don't let it control you.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
I Can’t Do It All
I am the type of the person who in high school was involved in a ton of things from athletics to academics. Coming into university I saw so many more things I could participate in. With the hundreds of clubs advertised during first week, there were lots of things that I really wanted to do. I joined things like debate club, a volunteer organization, badminton club as well as some academic clubs.
All of these clubs allowed me to get involved in some issues that I felt passionate about. I also met a lot of really cool people I still talk to sometimes -- even occasionally with my school work. Perhaps, I thought, I was making connections which just might pay off some time in the future. Some of our TA's have told us about this kind of connection being useful to them later on: introductions, advice on what to say in a letter or interview with a prof or an employer, or occasionally, just whispered into the ear of an influential person, a complimentary few words.
Some of my friends regret not getting out more and being more involved. They look back at the first year and only remember going to class and partying. Not exactly something to write home about, in my opinion.
But soon I had a problem. I realized that there just weren't enough hours in the day for me to do everything. Work for my classes was beginning to suffer as well. In addition, the lack of time for myself just wasn't there, and I was missing it badly -- things like reading a magazine article, hanging out with friends for no particular reason. I know myself too well: that's a fix I need on a regular basis, and if I don't get it I start having withdrawal symptoms. Of course, the first thing to go had been my sleep, because there were too many things that had to be done before the next day. Worse, I became so burnt out that for the first time in my life even when I did go to bed I wasn't sleeping well; this made me tired in class which added more stress, because I couldn’t focus. It was a downhill spiral.
In the end, for my own sanity, I had to compromise. Sadly, some things had to go, in favour of the ones I wanted to truly put in the time for. This meant I dropped two of the clubs I'd joined, which immediately meant more sleep for me; that's what I needed the most. There's something called "sleep deficit", which took me several early nights to get over.
Now, near the end of my first year, I have learned that it is possible to be involved in the many things that I want to do. But I have to be sure that first, I can actually do them and second, given the 24 hours we have in a day, they are the things I want to do the most. So I shall see and hopefully it will work out.
All of these clubs allowed me to get involved in some issues that I felt passionate about. I also met a lot of really cool people I still talk to sometimes -- even occasionally with my school work. Perhaps, I thought, I was making connections which just might pay off some time in the future. Some of our TA's have told us about this kind of connection being useful to them later on: introductions, advice on what to say in a letter or interview with a prof or an employer, or occasionally, just whispered into the ear of an influential person, a complimentary few words.
Some of my friends regret not getting out more and being more involved. They look back at the first year and only remember going to class and partying. Not exactly something to write home about, in my opinion.
But soon I had a problem. I realized that there just weren't enough hours in the day for me to do everything. Work for my classes was beginning to suffer as well. In addition, the lack of time for myself just wasn't there, and I was missing it badly -- things like reading a magazine article, hanging out with friends for no particular reason. I know myself too well: that's a fix I need on a regular basis, and if I don't get it I start having withdrawal symptoms. Of course, the first thing to go had been my sleep, because there were too many things that had to be done before the next day. Worse, I became so burnt out that for the first time in my life even when I did go to bed I wasn't sleeping well; this made me tired in class which added more stress, because I couldn’t focus. It was a downhill spiral.
In the end, for my own sanity, I had to compromise. Sadly, some things had to go, in favour of the ones I wanted to truly put in the time for. This meant I dropped two of the clubs I'd joined, which immediately meant more sleep for me; that's what I needed the most. There's something called "sleep deficit", which took me several early nights to get over.
Now, near the end of my first year, I have learned that it is possible to be involved in the many things that I want to do. But I have to be sure that first, I can actually do them and second, given the 24 hours we have in a day, they are the things I want to do the most. So I shall see and hopefully it will work out.
What Do I Want to do with My Life
I went to University directly from Gr.12 because I didn't know what else to do, and I had enough scholarships that I didn't have to pay for tuition. I didn't want to go to College because it it has a more vocational focus, and I wasn't nearly ready to make any decisions about a career. I had so many interests that I didn't know what I wanted to do, so I figured University would be a better match for me at the time.
The transition from high school to university for me was a drastic one. I'd been to a small high school in a small town. I lived on a farm, some distance away from the nearest biggest city of 75,000 people. So you can imagine that moving to a city with 352,000 people and going to a university with 30,000 students with 4,000 first years alone was pretty scary.
I was used to the quiet lifestyle of going to school, coming home on the bus, doing my homework and going to bed. I never really went anywhere because there was nothing to do. I had never been on a city bus before or taken a cab.
Upon arrival, I was immediately thrown into turmoil with all the events and things to do that first week. I had to get used to a more fast-paced environment, and it wasn't easy at first. I hated it. It took a while, but I eventually did get used to it and came to love it.
And now, I can’t imagine living somewhere where I can’t call for pizza delivery at any time of the night or be within 2 minutes walking distance from whatever kind of food or entertainment I could want.
I graduated from University this summer and will start a Communications and Public Relations program at College in the fall. University education is very broad, especially if you major in English. I don't even know where to start looking for a job that will take advantage of all I've learned in the last few years. People from my family say things like, "I don't see how all that time and all that money has helped you find a real job", or, "so you still don't know what you want to do". So it's all been a waste of time, right?
Wrong. Humanities graduates do get good jobs. True, there's no straight line, as in Nursing or Engineering. It takes a little more time, and there's no direct route. But I know that I'm a far stronger person now because of what I've done in the last years. Maybe it'll be hard to make a direct connection, but I know that I'll analyze situations and synthesize answers in a way that someone else couldn't. Especially situations involving human beings, which when you come to think about it is most of them.
The annoying questions won't stop for a while. I have learned to be immune to them though. I've had a lot of experience coping successfully with complex situations with lots of uncertainty and lots of potential solutions. This is just another one along the way.
And now I do feel ready to start getting trained for a job. A College course in Communications and Public Relations: that's what I'm doing in September. Don't tell me that what I did in my English Major won't be any use. It will.
The transition from high school to university for me was a drastic one. I'd been to a small high school in a small town. I lived on a farm, some distance away from the nearest biggest city of 75,000 people. So you can imagine that moving to a city with 352,000 people and going to a university with 30,000 students with 4,000 first years alone was pretty scary.
I was used to the quiet lifestyle of going to school, coming home on the bus, doing my homework and going to bed. I never really went anywhere because there was nothing to do. I had never been on a city bus before or taken a cab.
Upon arrival, I was immediately thrown into turmoil with all the events and things to do that first week. I had to get used to a more fast-paced environment, and it wasn't easy at first. I hated it. It took a while, but I eventually did get used to it and came to love it.
And now, I can’t imagine living somewhere where I can’t call for pizza delivery at any time of the night or be within 2 minutes walking distance from whatever kind of food or entertainment I could want.
I graduated from University this summer and will start a Communications and Public Relations program at College in the fall. University education is very broad, especially if you major in English. I don't even know where to start looking for a job that will take advantage of all I've learned in the last few years. People from my family say things like, "I don't see how all that time and all that money has helped you find a real job", or, "so you still don't know what you want to do". So it's all been a waste of time, right?
Wrong. Humanities graduates do get good jobs. True, there's no straight line, as in Nursing or Engineering. It takes a little more time, and there's no direct route. But I know that I'm a far stronger person now because of what I've done in the last years. Maybe it'll be hard to make a direct connection, but I know that I'll analyze situations and synthesize answers in a way that someone else couldn't. Especially situations involving human beings, which when you come to think about it is most of them.
The annoying questions won't stop for a while. I have learned to be immune to them though. I've had a lot of experience coping successfully with complex situations with lots of uncertainty and lots of potential solutions. This is just another one along the way.
And now I do feel ready to start getting trained for a job. A College course in Communications and Public Relations: that's what I'm doing in September. Don't tell me that what I did in my English Major won't be any use. It will.
Be Bold, Act Confident:
One of my most memorable moments of that first week was the opening of the campus pub. The place was packed solid, wall to wall. Me and some of the other first year girls that I had met over the course of the week got all dolled up together and decided that we would have a blast no matter what happened that night. Of course, as we were getting ready we all gossiped about some of the guys we had met during the week and wondered if any of them would be bold enough to ask us to dance, knowing deep down inside that we were too shy to make the move ourselves. All night long, we danced together but none of the guys ever asked us to dance.
I had spotted this really cute guy early into the night and had noticed him looking at me as well. But he never came over. He was with a bunch of other guys who were joking and talking and just wandering around, drinking and playing pool, going out on the patio for a smoke. Half way through the night, while all us girls were still hoping to meet one of these new hot guys, I saw him come in from the patio and it looked like he was heading for the door! My heart sank. But then I had an idea. As he was going by me to get to the door, I summoned all my courage, caught his eye, stepped in close so he could hear me and asked him to dance. We danced the rest of the night and his friends joined us and danced with the girls I was with. We all had a blast.
Nothing ever came of anything between me and this guy, but that wasn’t what I had been going for. I just wanted to have fun. You can’t always rely on guys having the confidence to come to you; sometimes you have to be the bold one. It’s easier to make friends when you put yourself out there. So don't hide in your room. Get out there and have fun. OK yeah, of course, don't do stupid or dangerous things.
Let yourself do things you've maybe thought of doing but never had been confident enough for before.
Yes, be bold.
I had spotted this really cute guy early into the night and had noticed him looking at me as well. But he never came over. He was with a bunch of other guys who were joking and talking and just wandering around, drinking and playing pool, going out on the patio for a smoke. Half way through the night, while all us girls were still hoping to meet one of these new hot guys, I saw him come in from the patio and it looked like he was heading for the door! My heart sank. But then I had an idea. As he was going by me to get to the door, I summoned all my courage, caught his eye, stepped in close so he could hear me and asked him to dance. We danced the rest of the night and his friends joined us and danced with the girls I was with. We all had a blast.
Nothing ever came of anything between me and this guy, but that wasn’t what I had been going for. I just wanted to have fun. You can’t always rely on guys having the confidence to come to you; sometimes you have to be the bold one. It’s easier to make friends when you put yourself out there. So don't hide in your room. Get out there and have fun. OK yeah, of course, don't do stupid or dangerous things.
Let yourself do things you've maybe thought of doing but never had been confident enough for before.
Yes, be bold.
We Don't Have Time but We'll Do it Anyway
Putting on Theatre takes a great deal of time, and requires a commitment that's close to being absolute. The performance date is set, and absolutely everyone has to be ready. It might seem, therefore, that theatre isn't something students in programs like mine can do: programs like Engineering, Meds, Architects, and other professional faculties where students have to work into the night and have very little free time. Two commitments that are close to absolute have to be one too many.
It might seem that way, but it isn't.
I've been involved in Theatre for many years, and when I came here, I missed it dearly. A close friend in my program was feeling the same way. One evening we were commiserating together about the lack of theatre in our lives. "Wouldn't it be great if ...": that kind of thing. Next thing I know, he says, "I figured it out, and I have a plan."
The trick would be to schedule all the rehearsals and other activities around our own timetable. Other people who got involved were going to have to fit in with that. We planned how it would all work, got another student involved, and we decided that yes, we really can do this. We turned ourselves into a triumvirate to get it done. We had auditions, found people to do all the backstage stuff like costumes and makeup, and applied to the Student Association for funding. What fun it was to do this again. Our first production was modest, involving just eight of us, but we got such a good response that we decided to expand into a more ambitious production, with more people involved and a bigger budget. Still, though, everything had to fit in with the triumvirate's academic commitments. It's a logistical challenge, involving late nights and early mornings, and weekends, but no-one complains.
Our target audience is busy students, and we do plays that people in our situation can relate to. The one we're doing now involves a group of kids in their twenties who haven't done much since High School. One night, one of their friends appears who has done something with his life: he's a rock star back in town on tour. He stops by to hang out with them, but the contrast between his success and the lives the others are living makes for a really interesting and volatile situation. It brings out peoples' fears about what is or is not happening in their lives, so it relates to the dread that shadows many students here, that they'll just go home after graduation to live on their parents' couch. It’s about the fear of going out into their real world after the insulation of growing up. The fact that some contemporaries might be having great successes in their lives just makes things worse.
One surprise we're all agreed upon is that the drama is another opportunity to 'think outside the box'. I believe students underestimate how multidisciplinary the world is, and the majority of people who succeed in creative professions don't just have one incredibly strong interest, they have several, and those passions interact constructively with each other. There are times during a rehearsal of a Harold Pinter play that I'd find myself thinking about the unconventional structure of the play, and suddenly I'm thinking about innovative ways to change the structure of my architectural design. Notes on acting also become general notes on presentation; how to be engaging and interesting to your audience. The process of writing a play is surprisingly similar to the design work we do in the Program. The list goes on. Anyway, it's more than an escape for us, it’s another pool to draw inspiration from.
One thing we pride ourselves on is that over half our audience is not related to the University. Given that we direct our productions to people in situations like ours, it may seem odd that it turns out that way. It's a good feeling though that so many people from the city want to come and watch us perform.
Our original triumvirate is very proud of the vibrant and successful organization that resulted from our original modest efforts. Best of all, it hasn't had any negative impact at all on the work we do in our University program -- quite the opposite in fact. As I've explained, the skills and insights we get from doing the productions turn out to actually enrich our work in the Program, and we return each day to our Faculty with renewed enthusiasm that comes from having a short but complete break from it.
It might seem that way, but it isn't.
I've been involved in Theatre for many years, and when I came here, I missed it dearly. A close friend in my program was feeling the same way. One evening we were commiserating together about the lack of theatre in our lives. "Wouldn't it be great if ...": that kind of thing. Next thing I know, he says, "I figured it out, and I have a plan."
The trick would be to schedule all the rehearsals and other activities around our own timetable. Other people who got involved were going to have to fit in with that. We planned how it would all work, got another student involved, and we decided that yes, we really can do this. We turned ourselves into a triumvirate to get it done. We had auditions, found people to do all the backstage stuff like costumes and makeup, and applied to the Student Association for funding. What fun it was to do this again. Our first production was modest, involving just eight of us, but we got such a good response that we decided to expand into a more ambitious production, with more people involved and a bigger budget. Still, though, everything had to fit in with the triumvirate's academic commitments. It's a logistical challenge, involving late nights and early mornings, and weekends, but no-one complains.
Our target audience is busy students, and we do plays that people in our situation can relate to. The one we're doing now involves a group of kids in their twenties who haven't done much since High School. One night, one of their friends appears who has done something with his life: he's a rock star back in town on tour. He stops by to hang out with them, but the contrast between his success and the lives the others are living makes for a really interesting and volatile situation. It brings out peoples' fears about what is or is not happening in their lives, so it relates to the dread that shadows many students here, that they'll just go home after graduation to live on their parents' couch. It’s about the fear of going out into their real world after the insulation of growing up. The fact that some contemporaries might be having great successes in their lives just makes things worse.
One surprise we're all agreed upon is that the drama is another opportunity to 'think outside the box'. I believe students underestimate how multidisciplinary the world is, and the majority of people who succeed in creative professions don't just have one incredibly strong interest, they have several, and those passions interact constructively with each other. There are times during a rehearsal of a Harold Pinter play that I'd find myself thinking about the unconventional structure of the play, and suddenly I'm thinking about innovative ways to change the structure of my architectural design. Notes on acting also become general notes on presentation; how to be engaging and interesting to your audience. The process of writing a play is surprisingly similar to the design work we do in the Program. The list goes on. Anyway, it's more than an escape for us, it’s another pool to draw inspiration from.
One thing we pride ourselves on is that over half our audience is not related to the University. Given that we direct our productions to people in situations like ours, it may seem odd that it turns out that way. It's a good feeling though that so many people from the city want to come and watch us perform.
Our original triumvirate is very proud of the vibrant and successful organization that resulted from our original modest efforts. Best of all, it hasn't had any negative impact at all on the work we do in our University program -- quite the opposite in fact. As I've explained, the skills and insights we get from doing the productions turn out to actually enrich our work in the Program, and we return each day to our Faculty with renewed enthusiasm that comes from having a short but complete break from it.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
A Country Boy Comes to the City
Being from a rural community, I had a few more adventures in the city than some others would have. I used up the first week trying to figure out how buses work. My roommate also had never taken a ride on a city bus either, so both of us were uncertain of ourselves and confused.
We looked at a bus map, but it looked to us as though it was showing another city in a foreign country. After some discussion we were confident that we knew what bus would take us to the mall. The bus stop was just out front of our residence, so we were confident we could be successful.
No mall appeared. Then the driver informed us that this was indeed the correct bus, but that to catch it going the opposite direction we would have had to stand on the other side of the road. Later, we learned that if you want the bus to stop, there's a cord that you have to pull if no-one else has. So we did eventually make it to the mall and back. On the same day.
We looked at a bus map, but it looked to us as though it was showing another city in a foreign country. After some discussion we were confident that we knew what bus would take us to the mall. The bus stop was just out front of our residence, so we were confident we could be successful.
No mall appeared. Then the driver informed us that this was indeed the correct bus, but that to catch it going the opposite direction we would have had to stand on the other side of the road. Later, we learned that if you want the bus to stop, there's a cord that you have to pull if no-one else has. So we did eventually make it to the mall and back. On the same day.
Plagiarism
Plagiarism is a cardinal sin in University. Many are tempted by it, some succumb to it, and some are expelled for it. In some subjects, there are online ways for the Profs to detect plagiarism that get better all the time, so what worked for your friend last semester might not work for you now.
The anti-plagiarism ethic is justified, both from the point of view of the students who might work hard for middling grades, and from the point of view of the University itself, its credibility, and its integrity.
Yet nothing is completely original. Sometimes, for an assignment or a project, only a limited number of approaches are possible. If ever you look at what someone else is doing, or you brainstorm together, you're using the other person's work. And if you read a book, decide to approach your work from the same angle, and use some of the same ideas, you're stealing the author's work, right?
So yes, there is a line somewhere that you can approach, but mustn't cross. And as in the rest of my own program, it all works a little differently from the way things are elsewhere. Here, work that already exists is referred to as “precendents”, and we are encouraged to use it. In fact, if we didn't, we couldn't get any decent work done at all.
You read, you look at the precedents and get ideas from them, you choose things that inspire you and use them, you borrow, you work with others, you try an approach out together with someone else. Maybe both of you use the same approach. Maybe it's the only approach that's possible.
Originality, creativity: they're not always possible. It would be possible to walk over to someone else's work when the person isn't there, look at it, and then do the same thing yourself. In my experience, though, that never happens. It would be stealing. What does happen is that the two of you look at someone's work together, you take the idea, and work on it by yourself for a bit. It's how you develop and exploit the complexities of the idea that makes your work original.
I can think of one example to make the point. We were working in groups on a project; each of us had the same assignment but we had to follow it individually, while maintaining some sort of dialogue. My friend Morgan had a good idea, so I pretty much incorporated it into my own project. I wasn't sure about doing it, so I went to the Prof, and said, “I stole this idea from Morgan.” “No, you didn't steal it,” he replied, “you appropriated it.” Part of the idea of the project was “appropriation”, so in fact I was following both the spirit of the assignment and the letter.
And that's what we're being taught to do. We use Precedents, and we appropriate. We do not copy and we do not present as our own something that was substantially done by someone else. That would be plagiarism.
The anti-plagiarism ethic is justified, both from the point of view of the students who might work hard for middling grades, and from the point of view of the University itself, its credibility, and its integrity.
Yet nothing is completely original. Sometimes, for an assignment or a project, only a limited number of approaches are possible. If ever you look at what someone else is doing, or you brainstorm together, you're using the other person's work. And if you read a book, decide to approach your work from the same angle, and use some of the same ideas, you're stealing the author's work, right?
So yes, there is a line somewhere that you can approach, but mustn't cross. And as in the rest of my own program, it all works a little differently from the way things are elsewhere. Here, work that already exists is referred to as “precendents”, and we are encouraged to use it. In fact, if we didn't, we couldn't get any decent work done at all.
You read, you look at the precedents and get ideas from them, you choose things that inspire you and use them, you borrow, you work with others, you try an approach out together with someone else. Maybe both of you use the same approach. Maybe it's the only approach that's possible.
Originality, creativity: they're not always possible. It would be possible to walk over to someone else's work when the person isn't there, look at it, and then do the same thing yourself. In my experience, though, that never happens. It would be stealing. What does happen is that the two of you look at someone's work together, you take the idea, and work on it by yourself for a bit. It's how you develop and exploit the complexities of the idea that makes your work original.
I can think of one example to make the point. We were working in groups on a project; each of us had the same assignment but we had to follow it individually, while maintaining some sort of dialogue. My friend Morgan had a good idea, so I pretty much incorporated it into my own project. I wasn't sure about doing it, so I went to the Prof, and said, “I stole this idea from Morgan.” “No, you didn't steal it,” he replied, “you appropriated it.” Part of the idea of the project was “appropriation”, so in fact I was following both the spirit of the assignment and the letter.
And that's what we're being taught to do. We use Precedents, and we appropriate. We do not copy and we do not present as our own something that was substantially done by someone else. That would be plagiarism.
Sororities and Time Management
Although sororities are a great social outlet, they can also be really good for time management. The whole pledging and initiation process in itself is a huge time management learning experience. You have to learn how to make the right decisions. If you have a big paper that’s due on Monday and it’s Saturday night and a pledging activity comes up, you have to decide if you are going to go out or if you are going to stay in to write the paper. If you do go out, you have to have a plan for how the paper is going to be done. If Sunday night is the only available time, well then, prepare for an all-nighter, because that's what it may take.
Once you're initiated it gets more complicated. Now you have more flexibility about your choices; the frantic pledging process is over, so you have more time. But there are sorority events all the time, and it's easy to forget the real reason why you are in school. You won't be able to participate in everything and still keep your marks up, and it's no longer a choice of yes or no. It has changed to one of selecting which sorority activities you'll do and which you'll pass up. I've found that in order to do that, I need to make myself a timetable that extends at least a week ahead, and sometimes longer than that.
One good thing about my sorority, and I think others too, is that your grades can only go so far down the drain. Then you begin to risk losing your membership. So there are bad consequences for you before the time comes that you have actually fallen so far that you can't recover. The sorority is so much more immediate and intense than your future grades that this threat can be what brings you back to sanity. I've known that happen to quite a few people. So really, the sorority is giving you a cushion. A hard one, true, but a cushion just the same. I've known more than one person who's needed that.
So, as I said at the beginning, my sorority has helped make me better at managing my time.
Once you're initiated it gets more complicated. Now you have more flexibility about your choices; the frantic pledging process is over, so you have more time. But there are sorority events all the time, and it's easy to forget the real reason why you are in school. You won't be able to participate in everything and still keep your marks up, and it's no longer a choice of yes or no. It has changed to one of selecting which sorority activities you'll do and which you'll pass up. I've found that in order to do that, I need to make myself a timetable that extends at least a week ahead, and sometimes longer than that.
One good thing about my sorority, and I think others too, is that your grades can only go so far down the drain. Then you begin to risk losing your membership. So there are bad consequences for you before the time comes that you have actually fallen so far that you can't recover. The sorority is so much more immediate and intense than your future grades that this threat can be what brings you back to sanity. I've known that happen to quite a few people. So really, the sorority is giving you a cushion. A hard one, true, but a cushion just the same. I've known more than one person who's needed that.
So, as I said at the beginning, my sorority has helped make me better at managing my time.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Computers Make Mistakes Too.
With the rapid increase in the number of computer-marked exams, the number of marking mistakes has been drastically reduced; or so the professors would have us believe. After some of my friends and I received our final exam marks, we were all very disappointed. Nobody wanted to approach the teacher and question their mark; it was a multiple choice exam that was marked by a computer. How could a computer make a mistake?
I thought I deserved a higher mark, despite what the computer said, so I approached the professor and asked if it was possible that the computer “messed up”. Initially the professor said it was impossible for the computer to “mess up”. But seeing my desperation, he consented to double-check the computer’s work and discovered that there was in fact a mistake. As it turns out, the score card had been fed into the computer improperly. In the end, my mark was raised 22%, which brought me from a C to an A.
Don’t ever be afraid to ask your professor to double check your mark, even if it was marked by a computer! I was the only person out of all my friends who asked the professor to double-check these marks, so the others will never know if they truly deserved those bad marks or not!
I thought I deserved a higher mark, despite what the computer said, so I approached the professor and asked if it was possible that the computer “messed up”. Initially the professor said it was impossible for the computer to “mess up”. But seeing my desperation, he consented to double-check the computer’s work and discovered that there was in fact a mistake. As it turns out, the score card had been fed into the computer improperly. In the end, my mark was raised 22%, which brought me from a C to an A.
Don’t ever be afraid to ask your professor to double check your mark, even if it was marked by a computer! I was the only person out of all my friends who asked the professor to double-check these marks, so the others will never know if they truly deserved those bad marks or not!
I Was Cheated
Too many students are cheated because they are afraid to speak up against a situation which they believe is not right. For example, unfair marks. With hundreds of papers to correct, many teachers hire graduate students to mark papers, and it’s easy for a marker to give an inaccurate grade. I discovered this the hard way.
During my first year of university, I was very nervous when I was about to receive my first graded university assignment because it was worth 10 % of my mark for that course and it would be the first reflection of my progress in university. Not to mention, I had put in an untold amount of effort and hours into this assignment. When the paper was handed back to me, I desperately flipped through the pages until I came across my mark. I was not happy. Very unhappy, in fact. The mark that I received for the assignment did not reflect the amount of agonizing work that I put into the assignment. I was convinced that university was going to be impossible.
I was so distraught that I decided to confront my professor due to the fact that the assignment lacked corrections. I figured that if I didn’t know where I went wrong, I couldn’t improve for future assignments. Surprisingly, my initiative paid off. My professor was stunned at some of the inexplicable, unjustified marks that I'd received. He decided to have the paper regraded. When the time came for me to pick up my newly graded paper, I was curious as to how my mark would change. (Like, curious to the point that I couldn't sleep the night before.) Would the professor find a lot of corrections and significantly increase my mark, or would he find that it had been correctly graded, be insulted that I'd even asked, and drastically lower my mark in spite?
When I picked up my paper I was ecstatic. My mark increased by 32% and was now sitting at a 92. I informed my friend who was taking the same class and her mark increased nearly 30% as well. This was not the only time that proofreading corrected assignments paid off. In fact, after examining a sociology exam, I was able to get the entire class’s marks to increase by 2% because of a mistake that the professor made on a multiple choice test.
After this incident, I realized how important it is to check over corrected assignments. If you feel that a mark is not justified, don’t be afraid to confront a professor about it. However, I do advise that you have good rationale behind why you believe the mark is not what it should be. I also recommend that you be polite to the professor about the situation. The professor is less likely to sympathize with your grade if you bolt into his room demanding that your mark be changed. In that case, he probably will change your mark, but chances are that it may not be in your favour.
During my first year of university, I was very nervous when I was about to receive my first graded university assignment because it was worth 10 % of my mark for that course and it would be the first reflection of my progress in university. Not to mention, I had put in an untold amount of effort and hours into this assignment. When the paper was handed back to me, I desperately flipped through the pages until I came across my mark. I was not happy. Very unhappy, in fact. The mark that I received for the assignment did not reflect the amount of agonizing work that I put into the assignment. I was convinced that university was going to be impossible.
I was so distraught that I decided to confront my professor due to the fact that the assignment lacked corrections. I figured that if I didn’t know where I went wrong, I couldn’t improve for future assignments. Surprisingly, my initiative paid off. My professor was stunned at some of the inexplicable, unjustified marks that I'd received. He decided to have the paper regraded. When the time came for me to pick up my newly graded paper, I was curious as to how my mark would change. (Like, curious to the point that I couldn't sleep the night before.) Would the professor find a lot of corrections and significantly increase my mark, or would he find that it had been correctly graded, be insulted that I'd even asked, and drastically lower my mark in spite?
When I picked up my paper I was ecstatic. My mark increased by 32% and was now sitting at a 92. I informed my friend who was taking the same class and her mark increased nearly 30% as well. This was not the only time that proofreading corrected assignments paid off. In fact, after examining a sociology exam, I was able to get the entire class’s marks to increase by 2% because of a mistake that the professor made on a multiple choice test.
After this incident, I realized how important it is to check over corrected assignments. If you feel that a mark is not justified, don’t be afraid to confront a professor about it. However, I do advise that you have good rationale behind why you believe the mark is not what it should be. I also recommend that you be polite to the professor about the situation. The professor is less likely to sympathize with your grade if you bolt into his room demanding that your mark be changed. In that case, he probably will change your mark, but chances are that it may not be in your favour.
Branching Out
Here and I have heard in most other places, the university makes quite an effort at the beginning of the first term to make students comfortable with being here and to connect them as quickly as possible with others so that it becomes easy to develop a range of new acquaintances and new friends and unify under some banner or other. I chose to do sports which served the same purpose.
For many people, the friendships made in these first few days and weeks form the basis for their social life for the entire time they are at the university. Sports team, subject group, residence floor, society or club, fraternity or sorority, it really doesn't matter. All serve the essential purpose of kickstarting your social life and making you comfortable in this new stage of your life.
The first year of school, you are often missing home and your friends; I even had thoughts of transferring in those first few weeks. Joining a team made me feel better. I also participated in other things that were specifically designed to bring us first years together. But later I opted to branch out from what I now perceived as a kind of cage. I deliberately moved to a different floor, got involved in different activities and went to different parties.
One advantage of branching out is that everywhere you go on campus, you meet people who you know. But the most important thing for me has been that even though I feel I have a lot of connections on campus and many different friends that I hang out with, I have met a fairly small number of people with whom I have been able to make a much deeper and more complete connection. These are friends who are truly congruent with me, not that we agree on all topics.
The people who were on my team and on my original floor still seem to cling together. Next year they will share a house together, they still go on trips together, they party together. Together together together. But they are not branching out.
So strongly did I feel about this that I started a group. The purpose is to look at the mixes on campus, the cliques that have formed; we try to push people beyond their social boundaries. Because when you get down to it, we all share pretty much common interests by just coming to this school in the first place.
A friend of mine found the same thing. He played basketball in his freshman year and found that his entire life revolved around his basketball and the people he played basketball with. He joined the team to get to know people and to bond with them and it did serve that purpose. But it also limited the kinds of people he spent time with and what he did. He went so far as to quit basketball after his freshman year so that he could branch out to get away from that team and that limiting mindset.
The question you have to ask is: are you hanging out with these people because circumstances have placed you together or because they are truly the types of people who you would really want to become friends with.
For many people, the friendships made in these first few days and weeks form the basis for their social life for the entire time they are at the university. Sports team, subject group, residence floor, society or club, fraternity or sorority, it really doesn't matter. All serve the essential purpose of kickstarting your social life and making you comfortable in this new stage of your life.
The first year of school, you are often missing home and your friends; I even had thoughts of transferring in those first few weeks. Joining a team made me feel better. I also participated in other things that were specifically designed to bring us first years together. But later I opted to branch out from what I now perceived as a kind of cage. I deliberately moved to a different floor, got involved in different activities and went to different parties.
One advantage of branching out is that everywhere you go on campus, you meet people who you know. But the most important thing for me has been that even though I feel I have a lot of connections on campus and many different friends that I hang out with, I have met a fairly small number of people with whom I have been able to make a much deeper and more complete connection. These are friends who are truly congruent with me, not that we agree on all topics.
The people who were on my team and on my original floor still seem to cling together. Next year they will share a house together, they still go on trips together, they party together. Together together together. But they are not branching out.
So strongly did I feel about this that I started a group. The purpose is to look at the mixes on campus, the cliques that have formed; we try to push people beyond their social boundaries. Because when you get down to it, we all share pretty much common interests by just coming to this school in the first place.
A friend of mine found the same thing. He played basketball in his freshman year and found that his entire life revolved around his basketball and the people he played basketball with. He joined the team to get to know people and to bond with them and it did serve that purpose. But it also limited the kinds of people he spent time with and what he did. He went so far as to quit basketball after his freshman year so that he could branch out to get away from that team and that limiting mindset.
The question you have to ask is: are you hanging out with these people because circumstances have placed you together or because they are truly the types of people who you would really want to become friends with.
How to Score a Scholarship
Most people think scholarships are reserved for the super smart individuals in high school. The truth is that there are more scholarships out there than you think and they are not ridiculously hard to obtain if your marks are good. The trick is that you have to go searching for them. You'd be amazed at how many people just don't seem to bother doing it. Naive or lazy? Who knows? But you can be the beneficiary.
In my graduating year of high school, I checked out many resources. I inquired about scholarships at my school and did some online searching for various university scholarships, bursaries, grants, government assistance, company and even foundation scholarships. Great marks are not the only criterion; there are sports and volunteering scholarships, scholarships for minorities and even those given out by community clubs.
Filling out forms for government tuition assistance is a must. Many universities have a separate bursary application you can fill out to receive extra funding; however, they do take into consideration your government funding to determine your level of financial need.
I found a lot of scholarships through my high school. This is a great place to start because many universities will notify the high schools of the awards and scholarships available ahead of time. Talk to your guidance counsellors. They can point you in the right direction and even nominate you for special scholarships.
Start early, look everywhere and talk to everyone. Scholarship deadlines are spread out throughout the year and application deadlines can be as early as October or as late as April.
Make a timeline of everything you’ve done up to date. What clubs/sports are you in? Do you volunteer or have a job? Have you won any awards or held any leadership positions? All these factors are taken into account. Another important piece of advice is to make sure you have all necessary documents ready beforehand. Many scholarships will require reference letters, transcripts or written essays. Be prepared to know what is expected of you.
Don't rule out sports scholarships. Some Universities aren't supposed to have scholarships for a particular sport because the team isn't in the right Division, but in fact they do. Scouts recommend you and, surprise, you're offered an academic scholarship. The trick is that when the disguise their intent in this way, it only really binds the student to try out for the team, not necessarily to play all season. I'm sure you get the drift.
There are also scholarships for out-of-country students. Some are sports scholarships, others are – well in this University they're called “Diversity Scholarships”, because the school wants to increase the diversity of the student body. That's an opportunity for someone with an unusual background.
You may think applying for too many scholarships or bursaries will be impossibly time consuming. But for many, the essay questions are fairly similar. It might take you 3 hours to apply for the first one, but with the wonders of copying and pasting, it’ll take you only 1 hour to fill out subsequent applications.
Please don’t get discouraged if you aren’t awarded anything or as much as you would have hoped for. Keep in mind that there are others who are also applying. Don’t give up. You can do it. Just believe in yourself.
In my graduating year of high school, I checked out many resources. I inquired about scholarships at my school and did some online searching for various university scholarships, bursaries, grants, government assistance, company and even foundation scholarships. Great marks are not the only criterion; there are sports and volunteering scholarships, scholarships for minorities and even those given out by community clubs.
Filling out forms for government tuition assistance is a must. Many universities have a separate bursary application you can fill out to receive extra funding; however, they do take into consideration your government funding to determine your level of financial need.
I found a lot of scholarships through my high school. This is a great place to start because many universities will notify the high schools of the awards and scholarships available ahead of time. Talk to your guidance counsellors. They can point you in the right direction and even nominate you for special scholarships.
Start early, look everywhere and talk to everyone. Scholarship deadlines are spread out throughout the year and application deadlines can be as early as October or as late as April.
Make a timeline of everything you’ve done up to date. What clubs/sports are you in? Do you volunteer or have a job? Have you won any awards or held any leadership positions? All these factors are taken into account. Another important piece of advice is to make sure you have all necessary documents ready beforehand. Many scholarships will require reference letters, transcripts or written essays. Be prepared to know what is expected of you.
Don't rule out sports scholarships. Some Universities aren't supposed to have scholarships for a particular sport because the team isn't in the right Division, but in fact they do. Scouts recommend you and, surprise, you're offered an academic scholarship. The trick is that when the disguise their intent in this way, it only really binds the student to try out for the team, not necessarily to play all season. I'm sure you get the drift.
There are also scholarships for out-of-country students. Some are sports scholarships, others are – well in this University they're called “Diversity Scholarships”, because the school wants to increase the diversity of the student body. That's an opportunity for someone with an unusual background.
You may think applying for too many scholarships or bursaries will be impossibly time consuming. But for many, the essay questions are fairly similar. It might take you 3 hours to apply for the first one, but with the wonders of copying and pasting, it’ll take you only 1 hour to fill out subsequent applications.
Please don’t get discouraged if you aren’t awarded anything or as much as you would have hoped for. Keep in mind that there are others who are also applying. Don’t give up. You can do it. Just believe in yourself.
Gay Roommates
During my summer holidays, my uncle asked me if there was anything that made me think, uh oh, this is going to be hard to get used to. And yes, there most certainly was.
In my first year, I shared a suite with three guys, and I have assigned fictitious names for each for the purpose of this story. I was rooming with Dean, who was straight as was I. Then there was Dale who was very theatrical and gay, and Brian: well, would you call him religious?, ... or conservative?, ... or redneck?, ... or homophobic? Each of these sometimes seemed to apply. Neither Dale nor Brian was completely bad. Each had a serious side, a perceptive side, and a considerate side. But they didn't belong together.
Dale clearly wanted to be in college for the “college experience”. He partied every night and came home drunk out of his mind. Brian ended up coming out as gay three years later but at that time, you could only suspect what his real orientation was. We did: what made him so emphatic, so obsessed? As the Bard said, he “doth protest too much, methinks” (Hamlet Act 3, scene 2, 230, in case you were wondering.)
Brian was a fun-loving guy but he had grown up in an extremely religious community and he could say or do prejudiced things without realizing it; where he had come from, everyone was like him so he didn’t have a concept of what was offensive. He would do things like post racist posters on the wall, complete with ugly caricatures and offensive names for an entire ethnic group. (I won't repeat any of them here; they were unacceptable even between semi-consenting semi-adults in semi-private.) Brian would also write homophobic bible slogans on the whiteboard above where his gay roommate slept, such as: “You shall not lie with a male as those who lie with a female; it is an abomination”, and “If a man lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination and they shall surely be put to death”. Brian thought this kind of stuff was funny and okay.
It didn’t bother Dean and me that these guys were gay. Even so, Dale would sometimes do things with the sole intention of shocking me. Knowing full well that I wasn’t gay, he would come in late at night after I was in bed, exhausted after working late; he would shut the door, lock it and look at me and make a completely inappropriate suggestion which I can’t write down here or it won’t get published. I wasn’t worried that he was coming on to me and knew that he was just saying these things to get a rise out of me. The only response was to laugh, and I did. Like I say, he was theatrical.
Many of the things he did were with the intention of just having fun and trying to be funny; he was not directly trying to offend us. But he would also do really aggressive things that made Brian, the guy who hadn’t come out yet, uncomfortable. He had taken a particular interest in Brian; he was very suspicious of him, realized he was most likely gay, and found it completely absurd that Brian wasn’t admitting it. So he would specifically do things to offend him, like having sex in his bed with a male partner while Brian was there. If it was Dean or me, he wouldn't have done it. But Brian didn't seem to see anything wrong with offending Dale; in fact he revelled in it. That was a mistake, because Dale was much more creative, and could be much more offensive than Brian if he wanted to. And he did want to.
As a result, Brian and Dale developed a really antagonistic relationship. (Yeah, I know, Duh.) Brian would post a new homophobic bible slogan and Dale would do something new to make Brian feel really uncomfortable. It got so bad that Brian moved out halfway through the year because Dale was getting to him. An interesting twist was that, unbeknownst to him, his new roommate was bisexual.
I felt badly for Brian as this was an example of someone having to come and adjust to a new and unexpected situation. It must have been hard for him since he would have been conflicted, knowing he was gay and what all of his friends and family back home would have thought of that. It would have been difficult for someone from a protected environment who was inculcated with lots of things all his life that weren’t true, and which would conflict with the reality of certain situations, to come to terms with it.
I don’t really know what happened to Brian or Dale. While some of the drama could be pretty amusing, I really don’t miss it. But it did teach me lots about how people from different backgrounds can conflict with each other. Life would certainly be dull if everyone were the same and no one disagreed. And that first year was certainly not dull for me.
In my first year, I shared a suite with three guys, and I have assigned fictitious names for each for the purpose of this story. I was rooming with Dean, who was straight as was I. Then there was Dale who was very theatrical and gay, and Brian: well, would you call him religious?, ... or conservative?, ... or redneck?, ... or homophobic? Each of these sometimes seemed to apply. Neither Dale nor Brian was completely bad. Each had a serious side, a perceptive side, and a considerate side. But they didn't belong together.
Dale clearly wanted to be in college for the “college experience”. He partied every night and came home drunk out of his mind. Brian ended up coming out as gay three years later but at that time, you could only suspect what his real orientation was. We did: what made him so emphatic, so obsessed? As the Bard said, he “doth protest too much, methinks” (Hamlet Act 3, scene 2, 230, in case you were wondering.)
Brian was a fun-loving guy but he had grown up in an extremely religious community and he could say or do prejudiced things without realizing it; where he had come from, everyone was like him so he didn’t have a concept of what was offensive. He would do things like post racist posters on the wall, complete with ugly caricatures and offensive names for an entire ethnic group. (I won't repeat any of them here; they were unacceptable even between semi-consenting semi-adults in semi-private.) Brian would also write homophobic bible slogans on the whiteboard above where his gay roommate slept, such as: “You shall not lie with a male as those who lie with a female; it is an abomination”, and “If a man lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination and they shall surely be put to death”. Brian thought this kind of stuff was funny and okay.
It didn’t bother Dean and me that these guys were gay. Even so, Dale would sometimes do things with the sole intention of shocking me. Knowing full well that I wasn’t gay, he would come in late at night after I was in bed, exhausted after working late; he would shut the door, lock it and look at me and make a completely inappropriate suggestion which I can’t write down here or it won’t get published. I wasn’t worried that he was coming on to me and knew that he was just saying these things to get a rise out of me. The only response was to laugh, and I did. Like I say, he was theatrical.
Many of the things he did were with the intention of just having fun and trying to be funny; he was not directly trying to offend us. But he would also do really aggressive things that made Brian, the guy who hadn’t come out yet, uncomfortable. He had taken a particular interest in Brian; he was very suspicious of him, realized he was most likely gay, and found it completely absurd that Brian wasn’t admitting it. So he would specifically do things to offend him, like having sex in his bed with a male partner while Brian was there. If it was Dean or me, he wouldn't have done it. But Brian didn't seem to see anything wrong with offending Dale; in fact he revelled in it. That was a mistake, because Dale was much more creative, and could be much more offensive than Brian if he wanted to. And he did want to.
As a result, Brian and Dale developed a really antagonistic relationship. (Yeah, I know, Duh.) Brian would post a new homophobic bible slogan and Dale would do something new to make Brian feel really uncomfortable. It got so bad that Brian moved out halfway through the year because Dale was getting to him. An interesting twist was that, unbeknownst to him, his new roommate was bisexual.
I felt badly for Brian as this was an example of someone having to come and adjust to a new and unexpected situation. It must have been hard for him since he would have been conflicted, knowing he was gay and what all of his friends and family back home would have thought of that. It would have been difficult for someone from a protected environment who was inculcated with lots of things all his life that weren’t true, and which would conflict with the reality of certain situations, to come to terms with it.
I don’t really know what happened to Brian or Dale. While some of the drama could be pretty amusing, I really don’t miss it. But it did teach me lots about how people from different backgrounds can conflict with each other. Life would certainly be dull if everyone were the same and no one disagreed. And that first year was certainly not dull for me.
Friends
You will meet a lot of people and make a lot of new friends while you are at University. A lot of this will happen in first year while you are in residence.
Friends are good. They make long days less boring, they make studying for exams more interesting, and basically they just make your university experience more memorable. Friends can also be live savers, in terms of helping you get through problems you are having at home or school. They can be the person you go talk to.
Don’t be afraid to meet people you have never met before who come from different backgrounds. You can learn a lot from them. You may also clash with people you meet. Be willing to be open minded. You may end up having very different friends than you did in high school. I tend to be more of a conservative person and the people I ended up spending most of my time with were not. We were able to get past that. I didn't do anything I wasn't comfortable with, and they accepted that and didn't try to do everything I did.
Friends can also be quite detrimental. Some of them are more interested in partying and having a good time as opposed to going to classes and performing well. They tempt you. You need to be strong and be able to say “no” to things that you do not want to do and make sure that you look out for yourself. Hanging out with your friends may be more exciting than going to that psychology lecture, but during that lecture, the Prof might be reviewing what will be on the exam.
Don’t forget the friends you had back at home either. Call them and see what’s up. They might be able to help you out in some way, but in any case you've been close to them in the past, and it's worthwhile to maintain that closeness.
Sometimes what brings two people together is what they have in common. I was underage for nearly all my first year in university. Another person who I lived with who was also underage at the time. We bonded instantly because of that common ground. While the others were out, we would go do other things together. Unfortunately she became of age several months before I did, and she ended up ditching me. That happens sometimes, but the times we did have together were great.
I grew up in a small town and went to a small school. Up until this year, most of the people I would meet during the day would be people I'd known for most of my life. Now, when I went away, I was forced to make new friends. I was nervous about it, but I did it. In comparable circumstances now, I wouldn't be nervous at all; I have my new friends to thank for that.
Friends are good. They make long days less boring, they make studying for exams more interesting, and basically they just make your university experience more memorable. Friends can also be live savers, in terms of helping you get through problems you are having at home or school. They can be the person you go talk to.
Don’t be afraid to meet people you have never met before who come from different backgrounds. You can learn a lot from them. You may also clash with people you meet. Be willing to be open minded. You may end up having very different friends than you did in high school. I tend to be more of a conservative person and the people I ended up spending most of my time with were not. We were able to get past that. I didn't do anything I wasn't comfortable with, and they accepted that and didn't try to do everything I did.
Friends can also be quite detrimental. Some of them are more interested in partying and having a good time as opposed to going to classes and performing well. They tempt you. You need to be strong and be able to say “no” to things that you do not want to do and make sure that you look out for yourself. Hanging out with your friends may be more exciting than going to that psychology lecture, but during that lecture, the Prof might be reviewing what will be on the exam.
Don’t forget the friends you had back at home either. Call them and see what’s up. They might be able to help you out in some way, but in any case you've been close to them in the past, and it's worthwhile to maintain that closeness.
Sometimes what brings two people together is what they have in common. I was underage for nearly all my first year in university. Another person who I lived with who was also underage at the time. We bonded instantly because of that common ground. While the others were out, we would go do other things together. Unfortunately she became of age several months before I did, and she ended up ditching me. That happens sometimes, but the times we did have together were great.
I grew up in a small town and went to a small school. Up until this year, most of the people I would meet during the day would be people I'd known for most of my life. Now, when I went away, I was forced to make new friends. I was nervous about it, but I did it. In comparable circumstances now, I wouldn't be nervous at all; I have my new friends to thank for that.
Life in the Bubble
If you’re a student at this University, chances are you will be familiar with the term “the University Bubble”. Although you do become more independent and have more freedom in university, life as an undergrad is far from life in the real world.
Sometimes you get so caught up in partying, clubbing, studying and classes that you tend to forget about the world around you. That's inevitable up to a point, but it's too easy to take it to an extreme, so that for weeks at a time you forget that there are living beings at all outside the University. Being downtown in a big city would remind you about the rest of the world, at least as compared with life here; it's a self-contained campus quite a distance from anywhere else especially for students without a car, which includes me and most of my friends. The Bubble gets to surround you and consume you before you realize that anything is happening. Then it can be too late: nothing outside your immediate life seems to have any interest or any meaning. As I write this, a recession is in full swing, there are crowds in the street in a volatile and dangerous part of the world, and there's a ship carrying an apparently nuclear cargo to a country embargoed by the UN. A war could start this afternoon, and many of my friends have no idea of any of this; they would ignore you if you tried to tell them about it. It doesn't take much thinking to realize that this isolation is not a good thing.
For some, the program you're in can contribute to the Bubble effect. My own program is an example, in the Sciences. It's all very specialized, esoteric, and all-consuming, and nothing in our daily grind has anything at all immediately to do with the world outside the lecture hall and the labs.
So how to keep at least part of yourself outside the Bubble: even doing simple stuff like reading the newspaper regularly or listening to the news on the radio will keep you informed of important events in the rest of the world. If that seems to lose its interest and importance, you're on a downhill slide into the Bubble. (Mixed metaphors anyone?)
The University itself has lots of activities that have an outside focus. You might not think so, but as young adults we can change the future for the better, and this change can begin by what we do in university. Even getting involved in organizing or participating in a fundraiser such as a marathon, a relay, or a carwash or a barbecue for charity can broaden your Bubble-restricted vision -- especially if you get involved in the organization and get some idea of what the fund-raiser is for. To date, this University's freshman efforts have raised over two million dollars for local causes. It goes to show how much goodness can be accomplished when we all band together.
For a broader perspective, I joined Unicef and the Cancer Society this year so I could help other communities and people. Your commitment can change peoples’ lives.
You can give your summers an outside focus too, even if you circumstances are like mine, and you have no choice to stay on campus because home is too far away or you don't have anywhere at all to go to. You've paid for your room for the whole year too. This summer, I'll be working at the medical research lab on campus.
So beware of the insidious Bubble. If you feel it coming on to you, brainstorm, investigate possibilities for remedial activities, and take action!
Sometimes you get so caught up in partying, clubbing, studying and classes that you tend to forget about the world around you. That's inevitable up to a point, but it's too easy to take it to an extreme, so that for weeks at a time you forget that there are living beings at all outside the University. Being downtown in a big city would remind you about the rest of the world, at least as compared with life here; it's a self-contained campus quite a distance from anywhere else especially for students without a car, which includes me and most of my friends. The Bubble gets to surround you and consume you before you realize that anything is happening. Then it can be too late: nothing outside your immediate life seems to have any interest or any meaning. As I write this, a recession is in full swing, there are crowds in the street in a volatile and dangerous part of the world, and there's a ship carrying an apparently nuclear cargo to a country embargoed by the UN. A war could start this afternoon, and many of my friends have no idea of any of this; they would ignore you if you tried to tell them about it. It doesn't take much thinking to realize that this isolation is not a good thing.
For some, the program you're in can contribute to the Bubble effect. My own program is an example, in the Sciences. It's all very specialized, esoteric, and all-consuming, and nothing in our daily grind has anything at all immediately to do with the world outside the lecture hall and the labs.
So how to keep at least part of yourself outside the Bubble: even doing simple stuff like reading the newspaper regularly or listening to the news on the radio will keep you informed of important events in the rest of the world. If that seems to lose its interest and importance, you're on a downhill slide into the Bubble. (Mixed metaphors anyone?)
The University itself has lots of activities that have an outside focus. You might not think so, but as young adults we can change the future for the better, and this change can begin by what we do in university. Even getting involved in organizing or participating in a fundraiser such as a marathon, a relay, or a carwash or a barbecue for charity can broaden your Bubble-restricted vision -- especially if you get involved in the organization and get some idea of what the fund-raiser is for. To date, this University's freshman efforts have raised over two million dollars for local causes. It goes to show how much goodness can be accomplished when we all band together.
For a broader perspective, I joined Unicef and the Cancer Society this year so I could help other communities and people. Your commitment can change peoples’ lives.
You can give your summers an outside focus too, even if you circumstances are like mine, and you have no choice to stay on campus because home is too far away or you don't have anywhere at all to go to. You've paid for your room for the whole year too. This summer, I'll be working at the medical research lab on campus.
So beware of the insidious Bubble. If you feel it coming on to you, brainstorm, investigate possibilities for remedial activities, and take action!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Residence is a Class in Social Living
In Residence, you're living with people you've never met before, didn't choose to live with, and who might have very different habits from you. Yet you have to get along with them just the same.
I have three siblings, so I'm used to sharing space. But the hardest type of person for me to share space with is the very kind this University seems to attract: spoiled rich princesses. Their problem is that they're used to having parents or maids pick up after them. They do things like put plates of chicken bones outside their door, thinking they will magically disappear by themselves. Really, who thinks this way? Spoiled rich princesses, that's who. Picture their lives: they brag about how big their house is, how much stuff and how much money they have, how many exotic places they've visited, and how much richer and better than everyone else they are. And then they behave like idiots because they expect things to be the same here; especially that others should do their dishes and pick up their garbage.
I’m sure it's hard for them. But I think it's even harder for the people who are used to sharing to live with these people who aren't.
Then there are the bizarre things some of these girls will say. We had a floor meeting once where a couple of them brought up the fact that they didn’t think the quality of soap in the bathroom was good enough, and the toilet paper wasn't the proper type.
Ironically, one of the things I was most looking forward to at this University was living in residence. Contrary to the archetypical undergrad stereotype, it wasn’t the late night partying scene I was looking forward to, but the independence and freedom. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but a part of going to university is growing up. I looked forward to meeting new people from all walks of life and faculties.
At first, I was excited about it all: the energy and the friendliness of people in my residence. But soon I began to notice the many different personalities that took getting used to. While living in residence has given me the opportunity to meet so many interesting people, I've learned that you can't get along with everyone.
Again, don't get me wrong. University Life is everything I expected and more. So intermingle with others and don't get too frustrated when you get home from a full day of classes and arrive at the next one: at home, your class in Social Living.
I have three siblings, so I'm used to sharing space. But the hardest type of person for me to share space with is the very kind this University seems to attract: spoiled rich princesses. Their problem is that they're used to having parents or maids pick up after them. They do things like put plates of chicken bones outside their door, thinking they will magically disappear by themselves. Really, who thinks this way? Spoiled rich princesses, that's who. Picture their lives: they brag about how big their house is, how much stuff and how much money they have, how many exotic places they've visited, and how much richer and better than everyone else they are. And then they behave like idiots because they expect things to be the same here; especially that others should do their dishes and pick up their garbage.
I’m sure it's hard for them. But I think it's even harder for the people who are used to sharing to live with these people who aren't.
Then there are the bizarre things some of these girls will say. We had a floor meeting once where a couple of them brought up the fact that they didn’t think the quality of soap in the bathroom was good enough, and the toilet paper wasn't the proper type.
Ironically, one of the things I was most looking forward to at this University was living in residence. Contrary to the archetypical undergrad stereotype, it wasn’t the late night partying scene I was looking forward to, but the independence and freedom. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but a part of going to university is growing up. I looked forward to meeting new people from all walks of life and faculties.
At first, I was excited about it all: the energy and the friendliness of people in my residence. But soon I began to notice the many different personalities that took getting used to. While living in residence has given me the opportunity to meet so many interesting people, I've learned that you can't get along with everyone.
Again, don't get me wrong. University Life is everything I expected and more. So intermingle with others and don't get too frustrated when you get home from a full day of classes and arrive at the next one: at home, your class in Social Living.
Coping With Workload
Our program is the most demanding one in the University, but it works a little differently from other high-workload programs in various universities I've heard about before. Here, the demands are just constantly coming at you. The core of our program is a class called Studio, which runs three to four hours each day. Actually, I've forgotten exactly how long it's supposed to be because no-one leaves until long after it has "finished". Profs often stay there for a long time too, which we appreciate because of the help they can give you and the things you learn just by hearing some of their insights into the particular projects people are doing at the time. Studio is a big area, with up to 100 people there at the same time. We have other classes as well, but the portfolio you build up in Studio matters more; you really need it in order to get a job when you finish here.
In the first year, typically, you'll be given some work on Tuesday, say, which has to be completed in a couple of days, on the Thursday. So there's not much opportunity for procrastination. Actually, we used to joke that it's constant forced procrastination: you can't even begin on the work for Thursday, because there's only just enough time to get the work for Wednesday completed. So by the time you even begin the Thursday stuff, the time available for it has already shrunk so much that you have to hurry again to get it done in time. You are always doing things at the last minute -- not because you put it off, but because there is so much work that you have to work constantly to get all of it done. It can happen that time just runs out, and either you have to throw something together at the last minute or even, in the worst case, just not do it.
The idea of this curriculum is that the Profs are progressively making you more and more self-reliant. Second year, the deadline will be a week instead of two days; third year, two weeks. By your final year, your entire term is spent on one project. But by now, you will have developed the skills necessary to pace yourself.
I find it is like two different worlds inside and outside of this faculty. The typical college scenario seems to be one of procrastination and putting things off. For us, that's not an option. There is just no time. We can never just let things slide – that's passive procrastination, and disaster would promptly ensue. What we have to do is active procrastination, which we often think of as “true procrastination”, and which we have to become masters of. We decide, usually collectively, that we've had enough, and we're going to pretend we're just ordinary University students out to have a good time. We need to have a purpose for procrastinating and we have to be successful at procrastinating: when it's over, our real life of constant demands and frantic work begins once more. Procrastination becomes a series of discrete episodes rather than a state of mind.
In our program, you can't do a competitive sport. There wouldn't be time. But people do find a way to play, and do recreational activities like ultimate frisbee. A couple of friends and I started a theatre group. It was interesting, and it was a new thing: theatre for people who don't have time. Other people may do the Arts and Adventure group, or the Citizenship and Community group. Each involves a theme, and people participate in activities around the theme. Some people join Fraternities and Sororities. Not the ones who get good marks, though. One thing the University doesn’t do is house all of us together. At first, I might have preferred if they had. But two weeks into the program, I realized it was better this way, or nobody would be there for most of the time, and ours would have been a ghost dorm.
Back to Studio. A lot of people purposely sacrifice other classes for the sake of Studio because they perceive that these are the marks that will count. But that’s not necessarily wise; the university attaches the same weight to one credit as to another, and some of these other courses are compulsory; they're part of what you need to graduate. Studio is perpetually immediate. You are constantly working as hard as you can just to keep up. It's a pretty overwhelming feeling to realize that you have to make time for work in one of the other courses as well. Lots of people keep putting it off; they don't know how to time manage so they don't do the work for the other classes. Then, of course, they get a low mark.
We do most of the work in the Studio itself. It's open all the time, and the actual class lasts for four hours a day. But there's always a good number of people there. The only no-man's zone is between 4 am and 6 am: the late-night people have finally gone, and the early morning people aren't awake yet. Even so, there are still people there. Often they're working on a cumulative project, a project for which you have to do everything on your own from designing the project through to completing it, and it's a huge deal.
Eventually, your body gets used to the long hours. One thing worth mentioning is that if you are going to pull an all-nighter, it can be a bad thing to take a break or a nap; you know that as soon as you do, you're done for. So you just keep going. Other times, a break can be helpful because you can't focus, and you can't think about anything except taking a break so it can rejuvenate you. You just have to know yourself well enough to decide whether to take one or not. It's a cliche, but time-management and staying focused are skills people say they have developed. You do get used to all the work and sometimes it’s the pressure that helps you work faster and time manage better. Working without nearly enough sleep, though, is one of those things that when you've done it enough, you can kind of zombie into it. It's terrible really, how normal it can become.
For me, working for weeks at a time without any real break and without enough sleep is not the hardest thing because there is no choice involved. It’s the times when the extreme demands are sporadic that are a real problem. Then I’m not used to the all-nighters, and the gear-switching becomes difficult. I have to tell myself that I need to sacrifice my free time to do some work. When I haven't had any free time for several weeks, I forget what it's like; maybe I'm half miserable all the time, but at least I'm used to it. Some people find that a project they've come up with needs them to work 24 hours for days at a time. The only way to do that is to take amphetamines, so that's what they have to do. It’s very common here and I didn’t expect that, maybe because I came from a place where I didn’t see much of that kind of thing.
Another problem is that in our program, there are two different kinds of work. One kind involves intensive thinking through a situation such as creating a design. But the other kind requires mechanical and repetitive work, often for hours at a time to finish the project. Both kinds of task are quite intense, and of course, there's never enough time. My brain gets out of sync. I might be in a creative mood, but that's not what I have to do at the time. Or I might be in a really dead mood, so the mechanical stuff would suit me, but I have to design something. What can help is to find a system where I have some of each kind to do. I have two things in process at the same time, one creative, the other mechanical. Then there are some options open.
People say they've developed the skills to cope with the workload. But then they can't tell you what the skills are, except in useless clichés like "You have to develop time-management strategies". I can't articulate it either. Maybe it's just a matter of living through it all and getting used to it. Then too, if you really want something enough, you'll find a way to do it.
In the first year, typically, you'll be given some work on Tuesday, say, which has to be completed in a couple of days, on the Thursday. So there's not much opportunity for procrastination. Actually, we used to joke that it's constant forced procrastination: you can't even begin on the work for Thursday, because there's only just enough time to get the work for Wednesday completed. So by the time you even begin the Thursday stuff, the time available for it has already shrunk so much that you have to hurry again to get it done in time. You are always doing things at the last minute -- not because you put it off, but because there is so much work that you have to work constantly to get all of it done. It can happen that time just runs out, and either you have to throw something together at the last minute or even, in the worst case, just not do it.
The idea of this curriculum is that the Profs are progressively making you more and more self-reliant. Second year, the deadline will be a week instead of two days; third year, two weeks. By your final year, your entire term is spent on one project. But by now, you will have developed the skills necessary to pace yourself.
I find it is like two different worlds inside and outside of this faculty. The typical college scenario seems to be one of procrastination and putting things off. For us, that's not an option. There is just no time. We can never just let things slide – that's passive procrastination, and disaster would promptly ensue. What we have to do is active procrastination, which we often think of as “true procrastination”, and which we have to become masters of. We decide, usually collectively, that we've had enough, and we're going to pretend we're just ordinary University students out to have a good time. We need to have a purpose for procrastinating and we have to be successful at procrastinating: when it's over, our real life of constant demands and frantic work begins once more. Procrastination becomes a series of discrete episodes rather than a state of mind.
In our program, you can't do a competitive sport. There wouldn't be time. But people do find a way to play, and do recreational activities like ultimate frisbee. A couple of friends and I started a theatre group. It was interesting, and it was a new thing: theatre for people who don't have time. Other people may do the Arts and Adventure group, or the Citizenship and Community group. Each involves a theme, and people participate in activities around the theme. Some people join Fraternities and Sororities. Not the ones who get good marks, though. One thing the University doesn’t do is house all of us together. At first, I might have preferred if they had. But two weeks into the program, I realized it was better this way, or nobody would be there for most of the time, and ours would have been a ghost dorm.
Back to Studio. A lot of people purposely sacrifice other classes for the sake of Studio because they perceive that these are the marks that will count. But that’s not necessarily wise; the university attaches the same weight to one credit as to another, and some of these other courses are compulsory; they're part of what you need to graduate. Studio is perpetually immediate. You are constantly working as hard as you can just to keep up. It's a pretty overwhelming feeling to realize that you have to make time for work in one of the other courses as well. Lots of people keep putting it off; they don't know how to time manage so they don't do the work for the other classes. Then, of course, they get a low mark.
We do most of the work in the Studio itself. It's open all the time, and the actual class lasts for four hours a day. But there's always a good number of people there. The only no-man's zone is between 4 am and 6 am: the late-night people have finally gone, and the early morning people aren't awake yet. Even so, there are still people there. Often they're working on a cumulative project, a project for which you have to do everything on your own from designing the project through to completing it, and it's a huge deal.
Eventually, your body gets used to the long hours. One thing worth mentioning is that if you are going to pull an all-nighter, it can be a bad thing to take a break or a nap; you know that as soon as you do, you're done for. So you just keep going. Other times, a break can be helpful because you can't focus, and you can't think about anything except taking a break so it can rejuvenate you. You just have to know yourself well enough to decide whether to take one or not. It's a cliche, but time-management and staying focused are skills people say they have developed. You do get used to all the work and sometimes it’s the pressure that helps you work faster and time manage better. Working without nearly enough sleep, though, is one of those things that when you've done it enough, you can kind of zombie into it. It's terrible really, how normal it can become.
For me, working for weeks at a time without any real break and without enough sleep is not the hardest thing because there is no choice involved. It’s the times when the extreme demands are sporadic that are a real problem. Then I’m not used to the all-nighters, and the gear-switching becomes difficult. I have to tell myself that I need to sacrifice my free time to do some work. When I haven't had any free time for several weeks, I forget what it's like; maybe I'm half miserable all the time, but at least I'm used to it. Some people find that a project they've come up with needs them to work 24 hours for days at a time. The only way to do that is to take amphetamines, so that's what they have to do. It’s very common here and I didn’t expect that, maybe because I came from a place where I didn’t see much of that kind of thing.
Another problem is that in our program, there are two different kinds of work. One kind involves intensive thinking through a situation such as creating a design. But the other kind requires mechanical and repetitive work, often for hours at a time to finish the project. Both kinds of task are quite intense, and of course, there's never enough time. My brain gets out of sync. I might be in a creative mood, but that's not what I have to do at the time. Or I might be in a really dead mood, so the mechanical stuff would suit me, but I have to design something. What can help is to find a system where I have some of each kind to do. I have two things in process at the same time, one creative, the other mechanical. Then there are some options open.
People say they've developed the skills to cope with the workload. But then they can't tell you what the skills are, except in useless clichés like "You have to develop time-management strategies". I can't articulate it either. Maybe it's just a matter of living through it all and getting used to it. Then too, if you really want something enough, you'll find a way to do it.
Final Evaluations
Many of our classes do not have required exams but project reviews or assignments instead. For the rest of our timetable, around the time that our other courses have exams, we're supposed to have a small break. However, it doesn't seem to work; it all just carries on regardless. Each Prof continues to make large demands on your time, and it is difficult to begin exam study early enough, or to do it thoroughly enough, for you to do as well as you otherwise could. If everyone has the same schedule though, there can be power in numbers if you take advantage of it. It has happened that we all cried out to the Prof who seemed to have forgotten about the exams: "Stop, you know us; you know we're not whiners, but give us a break just for this week!" And then some students catch on to that and try this technique later on when our timetables are more diverse, the student front isn’t unified and the power isn’t there. Then it degenerates into a sad, droning whine.
Another part of our evaluation is the Review, which is a project presentation and discussion. We work on it for weeks, put it on the wall or make a presentation of it, and then present it to the entire class, the Prof, and maybe other Profs or people outside the school as well. After your presentation, there are questions and comments you're expected to respond to.
Sometimes the comments seem frustratingly unconcerned with what you had perceived as the topic of your Review. Your first reaction might be annoyance that the person hasn't caught on to what you were trying to do. It's not advisable to respond in that way, though. You have to say something intelligent, so you need to put an emotional distance between you and the situation. One of the purposes of the exercise is to broaden your horizons on your work, and to stimulate ideas which otherwise you might not have had. So when they raise questions that you hadn't thought about, you have to respond by drawing a connection. You can say something like, "I hadn't thought of it from that viewpoint, but yes, I can see that the effect of that might be..." If you can do that intelligently, it can actually help you. Other times though, the question you're asked can be so far out of whack that all you can say is, "No, I hadn't thought of that."
It pays to get to know the Profs. They all have things they regard as important, and with some, it seems that they have an agenda all their own. So you know that they'll be pleased if you approach the topic from a direction that's at least consistent with their point of view.
A good thing about this way of doing things is that when you make your presentation, you're the expert on the topic. It could well be that you know more than anyone else in the room, including the Profs. More and more as you go on in the discipline, the Review becomes something like an equal conversation. The project you have is not a simple one; it's complicated, and there isn't an easy solution. You are basically a practitioner, and the difference between you and the Profs is that they have done more of it than you have. But on your topic, it's more of a conversation between equals. The Profs, and they accept it, are learning from you as well as the other way
It's a tense time though, overall, because so much is being evaluated in so short a time, and if you get off on the wrong foot, it can be very hard to regain control of the situation. That would be true of an exam as well. But in the Review, a lot depends not just on how good your actual work is, but on how you present it. Things happen in the Review that can totally throw you off guard in a way that wouldn't be so in an exam. Your reaction to what comes across as an off-track question can antagonize people. Or you can say something stupid. In an exam, you could just erase it; if you've said it, and everyone has heard, it's not so easy.
But I can't imagine a program like ours that didn't have something like our Review. It captures aspects of our ability and our achievement that a mere exam could never do.
Another part of our evaluation is the Review, which is a project presentation and discussion. We work on it for weeks, put it on the wall or make a presentation of it, and then present it to the entire class, the Prof, and maybe other Profs or people outside the school as well. After your presentation, there are questions and comments you're expected to respond to.
Sometimes the comments seem frustratingly unconcerned with what you had perceived as the topic of your Review. Your first reaction might be annoyance that the person hasn't caught on to what you were trying to do. It's not advisable to respond in that way, though. You have to say something intelligent, so you need to put an emotional distance between you and the situation. One of the purposes of the exercise is to broaden your horizons on your work, and to stimulate ideas which otherwise you might not have had. So when they raise questions that you hadn't thought about, you have to respond by drawing a connection. You can say something like, "I hadn't thought of it from that viewpoint, but yes, I can see that the effect of that might be..." If you can do that intelligently, it can actually help you. Other times though, the question you're asked can be so far out of whack that all you can say is, "No, I hadn't thought of that."
It pays to get to know the Profs. They all have things they regard as important, and with some, it seems that they have an agenda all their own. So you know that they'll be pleased if you approach the topic from a direction that's at least consistent with their point of view.
A good thing about this way of doing things is that when you make your presentation, you're the expert on the topic. It could well be that you know more than anyone else in the room, including the Profs. More and more as you go on in the discipline, the Review becomes something like an equal conversation. The project you have is not a simple one; it's complicated, and there isn't an easy solution. You are basically a practitioner, and the difference between you and the Profs is that they have done more of it than you have. But on your topic, it's more of a conversation between equals. The Profs, and they accept it, are learning from you as well as the other way
It's a tense time though, overall, because so much is being evaluated in so short a time, and if you get off on the wrong foot, it can be very hard to regain control of the situation. That would be true of an exam as well. But in the Review, a lot depends not just on how good your actual work is, but on how you present it. Things happen in the Review that can totally throw you off guard in a way that wouldn't be so in an exam. Your reaction to what comes across as an off-track question can antagonize people. Or you can say something stupid. In an exam, you could just erase it; if you've said it, and everyone has heard, it's not so easy.
But I can't imagine a program like ours that didn't have something like our Review. It captures aspects of our ability and our achievement that a mere exam could never do.
Grading
Grading in our Program is different from most others. There's no right and wrong, just good, better, best... and sometimes not good enough! Grading has to be subjective, which of course means that there are times when people don’t agree with it.
A disappointing grade is frustrating when you’ve handed something in after staying up late to do it and you've given it everything you’ve got. It has everything in it that you can do, within the limited topic or theme you're given, and it's complete as far as it can be. At least, that's how you see it. You have a sense of ownership of it, even an emotional attachment to it. That makes it easy to want to defend or explain your work when someone offers criticism, when they have things to say other than what a wonderful thing it is and how it couldn’t be improved upon. Even if something is said that could be construed as an additional point, it can come across as a criticism of you for not having thought to put it in. You do have to get used to that. But you have to take these criticisms courteously and realize that engaging your critics creates a dialogue that can actually benefit you and your work, that not every comment is a criticism, and the Prof is showing you respect by listening to what you have to say and reacting thoughtfully to it. Some Profs are better giving constructive criticism than others but we learn to take it all in stride, in public at least.
I'm not the kind of person who says that the Prof must be wrong because I didn't get a mark as high as I would have liked. But what I don't like is that sometimes a person who I don't feel is as qualified gets to grade my work.
A lot of grading is done by grad students who are teaching assistants, more commonly referred to as TAs. Some of them have graduated from programs less demanding than ours. Others have specialized in an area dissimilar to our program. In both cases, the TA is no more informed on our work than we are. So there are times when they have difficulties reviewing our assignments, causing a lack in credibility on their part.
I can think of one instance when my TA was just plain lazy and simple minded. He had received his undergraduate degree in something much less rigorous than this program. His ideas were uninspiring and he spent more time discussing his years as a party animal frat boy than anything else. It was frustrating to take criticism from someone who was never given such assignments in his program. He was just grading according to how our Prof had instructed him and even some of that he didn't follow properly. In this program, we put everything we have into our work, and we can be resentful when someone like this has so much influence over our grades.
For the most part, the TAs do care about assisting us, however, there are always a few duds in the group. Luckily, the Prof is responsible for the content taught and the final say in the grading process. That's good, because all our Profs are people we respect. In the end, I'm confident that my grade will reflect my ability and the work I've done, and that it will be as fair as it could be.
A disappointing grade is frustrating when you’ve handed something in after staying up late to do it and you've given it everything you’ve got. It has everything in it that you can do, within the limited topic or theme you're given, and it's complete as far as it can be. At least, that's how you see it. You have a sense of ownership of it, even an emotional attachment to it. That makes it easy to want to defend or explain your work when someone offers criticism, when they have things to say other than what a wonderful thing it is and how it couldn’t be improved upon. Even if something is said that could be construed as an additional point, it can come across as a criticism of you for not having thought to put it in. You do have to get used to that. But you have to take these criticisms courteously and realize that engaging your critics creates a dialogue that can actually benefit you and your work, that not every comment is a criticism, and the Prof is showing you respect by listening to what you have to say and reacting thoughtfully to it. Some Profs are better giving constructive criticism than others but we learn to take it all in stride, in public at least.
I'm not the kind of person who says that the Prof must be wrong because I didn't get a mark as high as I would have liked. But what I don't like is that sometimes a person who I don't feel is as qualified gets to grade my work.
A lot of grading is done by grad students who are teaching assistants, more commonly referred to as TAs. Some of them have graduated from programs less demanding than ours. Others have specialized in an area dissimilar to our program. In both cases, the TA is no more informed on our work than we are. So there are times when they have difficulties reviewing our assignments, causing a lack in credibility on their part.
I can think of one instance when my TA was just plain lazy and simple minded. He had received his undergraduate degree in something much less rigorous than this program. His ideas were uninspiring and he spent more time discussing his years as a party animal frat boy than anything else. It was frustrating to take criticism from someone who was never given such assignments in his program. He was just grading according to how our Prof had instructed him and even some of that he didn't follow properly. In this program, we put everything we have into our work, and we can be resentful when someone like this has so much influence over our grades.
For the most part, the TAs do care about assisting us, however, there are always a few duds in the group. Luckily, the Prof is responsible for the content taught and the final say in the grading process. That's good, because all our Profs are people we respect. In the end, I'm confident that my grade will reflect my ability and the work I've done, and that it will be as fair as it could be.
Students Who Waste Their Time
I’m in a program that’s probably the most demanding one the University offers. In fact, this faculty is almost like a school within a school; there's the rest of the University, then there's us. And we're not the only ones who see it that way. If you ask anyone else in the University, they'll tell you the same thing.
We have to work so hard that mostly there’s not much time left over. Sometimes it gets to the point that it’s even hard to get just a few hours of sleep. And because of the nature of the program, most of it has to be done at the Faculty itself. What they say about us is true: our faces are all so pale because we really don’t get out much.
There do seem to be lots of people around though, in other faculties, with far too much time on their hands. It can be hard to take: sometimes people breeze through our working area on their way to the pub. They make a lot of noise, joke around, and then go on their way. We can’t go; for us there just isn’t the time.
It can be rather deceiving. There was one student I worked with in a theatre production who seemed to have a pretty laid-back life. But then later, when her projects came up, she had to work really hard.
But if you’re not seeing that, it can seem unfair that other people have so much time to goof off. Especially, it’s hard to take some of their complaints, their whining. They complain that they have to take amphetamines to get their work done, whereas in fact the real problem is that they’ve been sleeping all the time and going out a lot.
They’re disorganized as well. In our program, we stay up late working. But these students exaggerate; they claim to be working all evening and into the night, but in fact they are mostly chatting, singing and Facebooking. They complain about having to stay up, but they didn’t actually do very much work. They go to their Profs for extensions, `Poor me; I’m just so stressed out with the workload’, whereas the truth is that they wasted time all month and then spent the last couple of days getting over their hangovers. It’s hard not to be impatient with them. My feeling is that you shouldn’t get to say you worked all evening and into the night if you didn’t actually do that. Putting forward the maximum possible effort, and going beyond what has previously seemed possible: when you're feeling you're the genuine article, it's hard to have a lot of patience with people who obviously aren't.
But then I think, they’re getting back about what they’re putting in. Our program leads to a professional life, but theirs doesn’t lead anywhere much unless they make it happen, which they’re not doing. During their years here, they’re just wasting their time and their considerable tuition dollars away. I wonder what they are doing with their lives. When I remind myself of that, I’m not jealous of their life at all.
We have to work so hard that mostly there’s not much time left over. Sometimes it gets to the point that it’s even hard to get just a few hours of sleep. And because of the nature of the program, most of it has to be done at the Faculty itself. What they say about us is true: our faces are all so pale because we really don’t get out much.
There do seem to be lots of people around though, in other faculties, with far too much time on their hands. It can be hard to take: sometimes people breeze through our working area on their way to the pub. They make a lot of noise, joke around, and then go on their way. We can’t go; for us there just isn’t the time.
It can be rather deceiving. There was one student I worked with in a theatre production who seemed to have a pretty laid-back life. But then later, when her projects came up, she had to work really hard.
But if you’re not seeing that, it can seem unfair that other people have so much time to goof off. Especially, it’s hard to take some of their complaints, their whining. They complain that they have to take amphetamines to get their work done, whereas in fact the real problem is that they’ve been sleeping all the time and going out a lot.
They’re disorganized as well. In our program, we stay up late working. But these students exaggerate; they claim to be working all evening and into the night, but in fact they are mostly chatting, singing and Facebooking. They complain about having to stay up, but they didn’t actually do very much work. They go to their Profs for extensions, `Poor me; I’m just so stressed out with the workload’, whereas the truth is that they wasted time all month and then spent the last couple of days getting over their hangovers. It’s hard not to be impatient with them. My feeling is that you shouldn’t get to say you worked all evening and into the night if you didn’t actually do that. Putting forward the maximum possible effort, and going beyond what has previously seemed possible: when you're feeling you're the genuine article, it's hard to have a lot of patience with people who obviously aren't.
But then I think, they’re getting back about what they’re putting in. Our program leads to a professional life, but theirs doesn’t lead anywhere much unless they make it happen, which they’re not doing. During their years here, they’re just wasting their time and their considerable tuition dollars away. I wonder what they are doing with their lives. When I remind myself of that, I’m not jealous of their life at all.
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