University is not the Sex Show I Thought it Would Be

Going into first year I had been dating a girl for about a year. The last weeks of summer were stressful because I was worried about what would happen to our relationship when university started. Troubled thoughts of co-ed dorms, partying, sex, and the infamous ‘turkey dump’ overflowed my thoughts. Other friends of mine were in relationships too, but ours felt more serious. University was approaching, and I did not want our relationship to end.

Once frosh week got underway, I wanted to make sure that I made as many friends as possible, and yet still make time for Jane. We talked—even if only for a bit—every night. Frosh week was much different than I had imagined it. Going in, I pictured my girlfriend being the only attached girl in her residence and at parties I assumed she would be surrounded by 27 horny guys at all times trying to get her to have sex. However, university was not the ‘sex show’ I deemed it to be. Sure, there are other guys and girls around if you are interested; but, there are tons of other first years with girlfriends and boyfriends too. There is no pressure to hook up with other people. The only stress caused by the relationship was that created by my thoughts and assumptions.

I talked to Jane often and visited her when I could even though my program was a very time-consuming and intense one. I was still able to have fun and go to the bars; what made it even easier was that we trusted each other.

A lot of people are unsure whether they should continue with their relationship going into university. All I say is ‘be true to yourself’. If you both want it to work, then try it; you will be surprised that it's quite possible to make a relationship work if you both want it to.

One thing I took from the experience was that I should not worry about the unknown. I spent the whole summer and the first-half of first year agonizing until I realized that university wasn’t the sex-show I thought it would be. And now it’s three years later and my girlfriend and I are still dating.