Ethnic Origins

There's one thing I do see here that at first I didn't like. Most of the time, if you see Asian students, they're all hanging out together in a group. Part of it is language. I think some of them feel that their English is a lot worse than it actually is. Talking to one of them, you can understand everything, they don't accidentally cause offence by saying something in the wrong way, and as far as you can tell they understand everything you say as well. OK, so there's an accent, but it doesn't get in the way of communication. One of my friends is from the South, and it tends to show in the way she speaks when she gets excited about something. Their accent is the same way: yes, it's there, but it's not a problem when it comes to understanding. They often think it is though. They're wrong, but they think their English gets in the way of things. So you tend to see them most of the time in groups of their own people, speaking their own language.

I don't want to exaggerate this as a problem. People from one group don't dislike people from other groups, or look down on them -- at least not as far as I can tell. Perhaps they do, of course, but they know better than to say anything. But I really don't think so.

We're all in the same classes and when you are in class, you don't care what ethnic origin someone is of; once in class, everyone is in the same situation; you are all here to learn. And sometimes we have to work with each other in groups chosen on a random basis. Once you start working with someone, both of you forget the differences and concentrate on the work you've got to get done together. While this is going on, it's no different from working with someone from the suburbs or the country. And it's usually not different working with someone from another country, although there are exceptions. Another friend of mine was extremely disturbed for a while when she was working with an Asian student who contributed very little. When he did, she just didn't see how what he said could be fitted in with what was already there. A real cultural divide, but that's unusual. Most of the time, we can all work together with the people from various backgrounds, and either everyone can gain from the different perspectives, or it at least makes very little or no difference.

But once the task is finished, you're less likely to socialize together outside of class with the person from the other country, even though you could make the effort to do so. Next day, there she is, in the same group as before with the same people speaking together in their own language. Too bad in one way, but I guess we're all more relaxed and more comfortable the more the people we're with are like ourselves in more ways. If you're familiar with it and comfortable with it, as humans, you will automatically connect with it.

In fact, one experience I've had gives me a bit of insight on exactly that. My family is from Romania, and even though I haven't been there since I was very small, I did grow up in a Romanian environment -- our house is full of Romanian things, and we all speak Romanian together at home.

Here in the university, for the first time in my life, I met another person my own age who is Romanian as well -- from the same part of Romania even. In fact she's more Romanian than me; she goes there every summer and lives with her relatives, which I've never done.

Instantly, there was a bond between us, an instant connection, different from what I've ever experienced with anyone else. It was wonderful because this was the first time I found someone my age who spoke Romanian. I just knew that she and I had so many things in common, more than we could ever talk about. Mind you, we did talk about quite a few, and we laughed together a lot, especially about some of the things our parents do or say. We just felt s - o - o close to each other. And that helped me realize how it is that all the Asian students from the same country can feel so much more comfortable in their own company than they are with people who've lived here all their lives. Because I could easily imagine myself going to university in an Asian country and seeking out anyone else from this country to hang out with. Very tempting. Almost irresistable.

All in all, a couple of things. First, the closer people are to you in background, the easier it is for you to socialize with them. In our social life, we tend not to look for challenges, rather we go for comfort, reassurance, closeness, and easy relationships.

But second, it's all up to the individual. Once you get to know someone as a person, that's all that's important; the other things are not. And I am told that, as a freshman, you see the differences between people according to where they come from but later, when you are a senior, you notice it less.