The thing I struggled with most during my freshman year was time management. In high school, after a day of classes, you do your extra curriculars, go home, eat dinner, and work on homework. You have parents to make you do your homework and teachers to check up on you. Your life is mostly dictated by outside forces.
When you get to college you have complete freedom over your life. You make your own choices and create your own experience. And if you come from a very strict household as I did, you might have a lot of trouble adjusting to the freedom.
My new found freedom in college caused me problems when it came to the party scene. Since I came from a very uptight household, I never partied in high school. My parents kept tabs on me at all times: I had to call when I arrived no matter where I was going and my parents waited up for me to come home. Coming to college, I could do whatever I wanted, wherever and whenever I wanted. It’s really easy to go out every weekend and go buck wild. Soon you realize that nothing is stopping you from drinking during the week too. Before you know it, you will have established some pretty bad habits like drinking on a Monday or skipping your first class in the morning. I'm not by any means saying don't party. Partying is fun, different from the workload stress and a great way to meet people on campus. Older friends (not necessarily friends of my parents!) have told me that this time in your life doesn't last for ever; once you're older, you won't usually have this instant bond with people you meet. Kind of a mafia that's based on age: that's how I've heard it described.
So yes, by all means, go ahead. Don't waste the opportunity. All I'm saying is that it’s important to take things slow. Ease yourself in to your new found freedom. It’s all about moderation.
If you are in Res, you are living with your friends 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s insanely easy to spend all your non-class time hanging out with your friends. So it’s really important to get into the habit early on of taking a little time for yourself. Studying with friends can be great sometimes, but other times you need to take time to get things done by yourself. Study, do laundry, call your parents, or just listen to music by yourself. If you don't start taking time out for you right from the beginning, you'll get stuck in the habit of spending all your time with your friends and really getting nothing accomplished.
Another thing I ran into trouble with was money management. My parents gave me a debit card which had the 2,000 dollars on it that I earned over the summer. The same things I mentioned earlier apply to money. Just be aware of what you are spending. It doesn't seem like you are spending a lot of money when you go to McDonalds or Denny's but the money adds up fast. A good idea is to set a limit for the money you can spend for fun every month and the money you need to spend on the essentials. I never checked my account because I just figured there was no way I was going to spend 2,000 dollars in one year. At the end of the year I checked my account and discovered I had spent close to $1,500. Most banks offer online banking which is a great thing to take advantage of. If you can actually see how much you are spending you can be more careful.
I loved every minute of my freshman year but if there is one lesson I learned it was definitely to take things in moderation, and it's ok to say no sometimes (okay, I guess that’s two lessons, but they are related). Have fun though! People know what they are talking about when they tell you that college will be the best years of your life.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
University, the Ultimate Breaker-Upper
August 13th: “We’re just going to see how things go and stay together even though we are at opposite ends of the country.”
August 31st: “Yeah….. we’re breaking up.”
When people move across the country or internationally, many are left with the question of what to do about their relationship with their boyfriend or girlfriend.
What do you do when you’re going to school across the country and he or she isn’t? Do you allow the long distance factor to break you up? Is it fair to your second half that you’re moving far away and they are just supposed to wait for you to come home? Can you have a relationship without seeing each other until Christmas? Can you ever date someone who is so far away and make it work? What is needed for a “true” relationship? Or are we all just convinced that we have to be in the same city at the same time to date?
What do you do when you meet someone you fall in love with just days before you move across the country? Is geography always the deciding factor in who we love? If there truly is just one person in this entire world that is our true love, then how can we expect that this one and only person will exist within city limits? So what do we do as students when we are faced with the challenge of University? Do we all just break up with our boyfriends/girlfriends of 9 months… 2 years… five years? Five years .. that's me .. long story ..
How can you get over someone when you don’t want to break up with them but you have to? You still have feelings for them, but common-sense tells you that it’s not worth being together. Or should you try to make it work. Is “making it work” even possible? Should we be putting this much thought into a high school relationship? When our parents were our age, they were getting married at 18, 19, 20 and they already knew their true loves, so why can’t we? Why do our parents say that we are too young? So in the end, what do we do?
Are there even any right answers in these situations?
Myself? My boyfriend and I broke up a month before I went to University because I was moving across the country and he was going to attend the university in our home city. We knew five years would be too long a time to remain together from a distance. But still to this day, I miss him a lot. But as much as I love him, I think about the famous quote, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you it's yours to keep." The timing just wasn't right. Maybe if we had met once we were older and had finished our post-secondary education, then we could have stayed together forever with no interruptions.
We'd started dating in elementary school and we experienced lots of things together. We went to Paris for spring break with our high school, to Disney World one summer with his entire family, and to various theme parks across the country where I tried to get him on a roller coaster with me but he was just too scared.
Our last year of high school, we began to wonder if we would stay together when I moved away; when spring came and we had to decide which university we would each attend, we started thinking seriously about it. I had never wanted to go to university in our home city but I could have stayed within an hours drive; then we could have stayed together. But I knew that going to this University was too good an opportunity to pass up. When it became clear that I was moving across the country, we both decided that staying together wasn't going to be an option.
We both felt that it would be impossible to feel like we were in a true relationship with each other since we would be so busy with homework and could only see each other once or twice a year. We are young, we are free, and we both wanted to experience university life to its fullest, without restricting ourselves from meeting new people.
Even though we knew in the spring that our relationship would come to a close at the end of the summer, I missed him more than ever when he went away that summer on a family vacation. When he came home, I couldn't picture how hard it would be to be apart from him for good. No more watching movies together, no more sharing rides to school, no more ball hockey in the drive way and I could no longer see his adorable kitten, Philly.
Now that I've survived the transition, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I send him a "hey" almost every single day and that gets the feelings of how far away he is and how much I miss him out of my system. Even so, I still feel I would be jealous of any girl that he is around. Our mutual decision that we would go our separate ways was sad because our 5 year adventure had to come to an end solely because of geography. But I did find once I made the move to university, being in a different city helped me get over the break up much easier.
I dated another boy for the first three months that I was in first year. I met him in the first week of classes and we hit it off from the start. He taught me to long board and shared his entire music collection of 7,000 songs with me. I absolutely loved sharing my world with him just as much as he did with me.
So here I was, at a new university, new friends, new boyfriend, new clothes and a new life. But that relationship ended as well: he wanted us to move too far too fast, and I was hesitant even though I was falling for him. He didn't know how to communicate how he felt about issues in our relationship with me, so his feelings built up until he became very unhappy. And most importantly, he wanted Sex and I didn't. His feeling was that Sex makes or breaks a relationship; my feeling went back to something my mom once told me about the book Pride and Prejudice. She said that so many people like the book; they especially identify with Lizzy, because they want to have pride like she does. I'm like that. I want my pride. I couldn't be all the things he wanted me to be.
So the relationship came and the relationship went. While it was interesting to be with someone fresh and new, this boyfriend and my ex were very different. My ex-boyfriend from back at home was captain of the hockey team and my university boyfriend hated the sound of skates on ice.
Even though my ex-boyfriend and I continued to communicate throughout this relationship, I never told him about this new boy because he had made it clear that he didn't want to know about anyone I was seeing because he would become jealous. He was happier not knowing. He knew that I was most likely out living my life but didn't want to think about it.
I wasn't tempted to get back with him, because we couldn't deal with the physical distance between us. We continued to stay in touch, and we still do. I still miss being his girlfriend and I wish that our long term relationship hadn't had to come to an end. We both wanted to be with each other but it just wasn't the time. If he was in the same city as me, I would still be going with him for sure. Even though I had those feelings and I probably always will, dating new people is just as exciting.
When it comes to the question of whether you break up or not because of school, I do not see a breakup as a bad thing. In university, you are supposed to meet new people and I believe you will find absolutely extraordinary people that you will want to share your world with, no matter what. The ex-boyfriend from back at home is still my friend and I never want him out of my life. The recent boyfriend and I are not good friends at all.
My ex-boyfriend from back home and I promised each other that if we end up living in the same city again after we are done our Undergrads, we will give dating a shot again. I can't help but look forward to that time.
In the end, it’s all positive. I gained new insights into relationships, and into the way I react to new situations. And I gained a new music collection.
August 31st: “Yeah….. we’re breaking up.”
When people move across the country or internationally, many are left with the question of what to do about their relationship with their boyfriend or girlfriend.
What do you do when you’re going to school across the country and he or she isn’t? Do you allow the long distance factor to break you up? Is it fair to your second half that you’re moving far away and they are just supposed to wait for you to come home? Can you have a relationship without seeing each other until Christmas? Can you ever date someone who is so far away and make it work? What is needed for a “true” relationship? Or are we all just convinced that we have to be in the same city at the same time to date?
What do you do when you meet someone you fall in love with just days before you move across the country? Is geography always the deciding factor in who we love? If there truly is just one person in this entire world that is our true love, then how can we expect that this one and only person will exist within city limits? So what do we do as students when we are faced with the challenge of University? Do we all just break up with our boyfriends/girlfriends of 9 months… 2 years… five years? Five years .. that's me .. long story ..
How can you get over someone when you don’t want to break up with them but you have to? You still have feelings for them, but common-sense tells you that it’s not worth being together. Or should you try to make it work. Is “making it work” even possible? Should we be putting this much thought into a high school relationship? When our parents were our age, they were getting married at 18, 19, 20 and they already knew their true loves, so why can’t we? Why do our parents say that we are too young? So in the end, what do we do?
Are there even any right answers in these situations?
Myself? My boyfriend and I broke up a month before I went to University because I was moving across the country and he was going to attend the university in our home city. We knew five years would be too long a time to remain together from a distance. But still to this day, I miss him a lot. But as much as I love him, I think about the famous quote, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you it's yours to keep." The timing just wasn't right. Maybe if we had met once we were older and had finished our post-secondary education, then we could have stayed together forever with no interruptions.
We'd started dating in elementary school and we experienced lots of things together. We went to Paris for spring break with our high school, to Disney World one summer with his entire family, and to various theme parks across the country where I tried to get him on a roller coaster with me but he was just too scared.
Our last year of high school, we began to wonder if we would stay together when I moved away; when spring came and we had to decide which university we would each attend, we started thinking seriously about it. I had never wanted to go to university in our home city but I could have stayed within an hours drive; then we could have stayed together. But I knew that going to this University was too good an opportunity to pass up. When it became clear that I was moving across the country, we both decided that staying together wasn't going to be an option.
We both felt that it would be impossible to feel like we were in a true relationship with each other since we would be so busy with homework and could only see each other once or twice a year. We are young, we are free, and we both wanted to experience university life to its fullest, without restricting ourselves from meeting new people.
Even though we knew in the spring that our relationship would come to a close at the end of the summer, I missed him more than ever when he went away that summer on a family vacation. When he came home, I couldn't picture how hard it would be to be apart from him for good. No more watching movies together, no more sharing rides to school, no more ball hockey in the drive way and I could no longer see his adorable kitten, Philly.
Now that I've survived the transition, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I send him a "hey" almost every single day and that gets the feelings of how far away he is and how much I miss him out of my system. Even so, I still feel I would be jealous of any girl that he is around. Our mutual decision that we would go our separate ways was sad because our 5 year adventure had to come to an end solely because of geography. But I did find once I made the move to university, being in a different city helped me get over the break up much easier.
I dated another boy for the first three months that I was in first year. I met him in the first week of classes and we hit it off from the start. He taught me to long board and shared his entire music collection of 7,000 songs with me. I absolutely loved sharing my world with him just as much as he did with me.
So here I was, at a new university, new friends, new boyfriend, new clothes and a new life. But that relationship ended as well: he wanted us to move too far too fast, and I was hesitant even though I was falling for him. He didn't know how to communicate how he felt about issues in our relationship with me, so his feelings built up until he became very unhappy. And most importantly, he wanted Sex and I didn't. His feeling was that Sex makes or breaks a relationship; my feeling went back to something my mom once told me about the book Pride and Prejudice. She said that so many people like the book; they especially identify with Lizzy, because they want to have pride like she does. I'm like that. I want my pride. I couldn't be all the things he wanted me to be.
So the relationship came and the relationship went. While it was interesting to be with someone fresh and new, this boyfriend and my ex were very different. My ex-boyfriend from back at home was captain of the hockey team and my university boyfriend hated the sound of skates on ice.
Even though my ex-boyfriend and I continued to communicate throughout this relationship, I never told him about this new boy because he had made it clear that he didn't want to know about anyone I was seeing because he would become jealous. He was happier not knowing. He knew that I was most likely out living my life but didn't want to think about it.
I wasn't tempted to get back with him, because we couldn't deal with the physical distance between us. We continued to stay in touch, and we still do. I still miss being his girlfriend and I wish that our long term relationship hadn't had to come to an end. We both wanted to be with each other but it just wasn't the time. If he was in the same city as me, I would still be going with him for sure. Even though I had those feelings and I probably always will, dating new people is just as exciting.
When it comes to the question of whether you break up or not because of school, I do not see a breakup as a bad thing. In university, you are supposed to meet new people and I believe you will find absolutely extraordinary people that you will want to share your world with, no matter what. The ex-boyfriend from back at home is still my friend and I never want him out of my life. The recent boyfriend and I are not good friends at all.
My ex-boyfriend from back home and I promised each other that if we end up living in the same city again after we are done our Undergrads, we will give dating a shot again. I can't help but look forward to that time.
In the end, it’s all positive. I gained new insights into relationships, and into the way I react to new situations. And I gained a new music collection.
Dating
When I came to college I was dating my high school boyfriend, who was now a senior in high school. I was so sure things would work out when I left. For the first month, things were good. We talked on the phone, on the internet, and texted every day. However, as my work load mounted and he started his school year we talked less. You just can’t help but get frustrated when the communication slows and when you have nothing to talk about. I was so excited to be at college but I felt bad telling him how happy I was because he wasn’t there. He pretended to be interested in stories about my new friends that he didn’t know. We just fell apart and you can’t fix things over the phone. The first time I went home we broke up. It was mutual but it hurt us both so much. It was the distance that killed us.
Distance sometimes makes couples stronger; it did for one of my best friends. I think it’s important to evaluate the strength of not only your relationship but also your communication skills. All you will have are phone calls and hopefully visits. It is essential to decide beforehand when and how often you will talk. Honesty and openness are also really important. You need to be able to talk about how you are feeling and talk about things that are bothering you or the relationship will never work.
Distance sometimes makes couples stronger; it did for one of my best friends. I think it’s important to evaluate the strength of not only your relationship but also your communication skills. All you will have are phone calls and hopefully visits. It is essential to decide beforehand when and how often you will talk. Honesty and openness are also really important. You need to be able to talk about how you are feeling and talk about things that are bothering you or the relationship will never work.
Working Together
When I first got to college my number one priority was making friends. After orientation, we no longer had hours upon hours to hang out because we all had work to do. A simple solution was for us to all meet up in the lounge and do our homework together. However, every time we would sit down to work someone would start up a conversation and no one would get anything done. We were all more interested in each other than our classes. The work started piling up and we quickly realized that group study time was ineffective. Slowly the number of people doing homework together started dwindling. Some worked up in their rooms and others went to the library to find a silent corner.
Every so often we will forget why we no longer do homework together. Recently, I went to the library with one of my friends to write a paper. We were there for five hours and I got only one page done. Instead we talked and listened to music in a group study room. Neither of us are disciplined enough to sit in the same room and not talk. Sometimes you can be lucky enough to find someone that you are able to work with. I personally do not like working with people I do not know well. On one hand you probably will not be tempted to talk about your life, since the only thing you share is the class. On the other hand I often feel uncomfortable working with people I don't know -- for one thing there seem to be a lot of awkward silences. But I have found a few friends who I can do homework with and actually get stuff done. Usually they are the type of people who are really focused and will ignore me until I get to work.
If you can find one or two people who you work well with I think it is a great motivator to get things done. Going to the library is not so daunting if you have someone to go with. Even if they slow you down slightly, it makes the work less stressful.
Every so often we will forget why we no longer do homework together. Recently, I went to the library with one of my friends to write a paper. We were there for five hours and I got only one page done. Instead we talked and listened to music in a group study room. Neither of us are disciplined enough to sit in the same room and not talk. Sometimes you can be lucky enough to find someone that you are able to work with. I personally do not like working with people I do not know well. On one hand you probably will not be tempted to talk about your life, since the only thing you share is the class. On the other hand I often feel uncomfortable working with people I don't know -- for one thing there seem to be a lot of awkward silences. But I have found a few friends who I can do homework with and actually get stuff done. Usually they are the type of people who are really focused and will ignore me until I get to work.
If you can find one or two people who you work well with I think it is a great motivator to get things done. Going to the library is not so daunting if you have someone to go with. Even if they slow you down slightly, it makes the work less stressful.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Mistakes: Your Own Can be Hard to See
I failed my first year of university. So I packed my bags and went home.
Looking back, I realize my mistakes.
I had too much free time. My bus ride home from campus was two hours so in between classes, I had to find ways to fill my time. Instead of staying on campus and doing my work, I would go to the mall and just hang out. Because I had so much free time, I figured there was always tomorrow, or the next day, or the weekend, to get things done. If a due date was three weeks away, I thought that was a lot of time, so procrastinating did not seem like a bad thing. Then due dates began to pile up, test dates started to come quickly, and what was previously a lot of time was suddenly no time. Even after some failed first semester courses, I couldn’t seem to work between classes. It wasn’t that I couldn’t study with other freshmen; I guess I figured that what worked in high school would work in college.
I didn’t pay enough attention to my poor math entrance test results. Because I didn’t do well enough on these tests, I had to take prerequisite courses for the math courses required for my major. In effect, they were prerequisites for prerequisities. So not only did I figure that they didn’t count for anything (a mistake which cost me dearly), I didn’t think about perhaps changing my major to something that involved fewer math courses. In retrospect, I should have paid attention to the reason for these low marks and the reason for these entrance tests: I sucked at math and was nuts to take a major which involved so many math courses.
When I received a letter telling me that my grades were too low to continue my studies, I didn't go and talk to anyone about it to figure out where I could go from there. I can’t exactly say what my mindset was at the time. It could have been school burnout. By the time I got the letter, I didn't look too much into my options because I figured I could be done with school and just get a job. I was young and wasn't thinking of the long-term.
A year of working in a dead end job that I didn't like reminded me of why I wanted a degree in the first place. So I decided to move on. I chose to go to Community College instead of back to the university. But this time, I switched my major to something with less math and with more core classes than electives. Each semester I could check another 3 or 4 courses off of my checklist so it felt like progress was happening faster.
At the Community College, the first few semesters didn’t seem much different from high school. But as time went on, classes became harder and the work more time-consuming. Taking courses at a Community College was helpful, because it helped me ease into my next step: reenrollment at the University I had gone to before. But this time I made some changes:
I took advantage of some of the gaps in time between classes to get involved in some clubs. I started with just one but in my second term, joined another as well. Having less spare time between classes helped me make better use of the time I did have, so I got more work done. If there was no meeting on a given day, but I had some time, I'd hang out either in a computer lab or in the cafeteria and read my textbooks or try to knock out some homework. On club meeting days, I'd go to the meeting room early and do something for a class before the meeting started. I learned that figuring out the time management thing when you don't have a lot of time to play with is easier than when you have big chunks of time.
I took a different major than I had when I was there before, more along the lines of what I took at Community College. I found the new courses related to each other and related to my end goal. I enjoyed many of the profs because they taught using their real life experiences for the course material; this gave us better insight about how the content of the text could be used in the work force. Since I had struggled with math in the past, I took some of the necessary math courses online. The advantage was that when you did your homework online, you would immediately know if you got it right; it was helpful to submit homework answers on a website and have immediate feedback about right and wrong answers. Of course wrong answers were just wrong and there was no hint as to how to fix it or what was wrong, so it took a little longer to figure it out, but I think that was the point to doing it that way. Because our professor couldn't see our work, there couldn't be partial credit or the ability to say ‘look, you dropped your negative there and that’s why it’s wrong’. I think having to go back and figure it out helped a lot come test time. I liked having immediate results and not having to wait to know what I needed to do.
I knew that this time was my first and last chance to succeed. This was calculus, and the only chance I had to take the course and pass it -- I had reached my maximum semesters of financial aid so I needed to finish in May. All of the classes I had scheduled that year were 'must pass' classes. I had no wiggle room.
Looking back at my previous awful first year experience at University, I could have avoided my mistakes by actually going to the learning center and meeting with advisers; maybe they could have helped me to understand that failing these courses wasn’t the end of the world and help me develop a new plan. I could have also gotten involved in extracurriculars right from the start and given myself a reason to stay on campus rather than wander off. A little more focus on time management would have been helpful, although I've got to say it took me a while to figure out the secret to managing time - that being having less of it to deal with.
Looking back, I realize my mistakes.
I had too much free time. My bus ride home from campus was two hours so in between classes, I had to find ways to fill my time. Instead of staying on campus and doing my work, I would go to the mall and just hang out. Because I had so much free time, I figured there was always tomorrow, or the next day, or the weekend, to get things done. If a due date was three weeks away, I thought that was a lot of time, so procrastinating did not seem like a bad thing. Then due dates began to pile up, test dates started to come quickly, and what was previously a lot of time was suddenly no time. Even after some failed first semester courses, I couldn’t seem to work between classes. It wasn’t that I couldn’t study with other freshmen; I guess I figured that what worked in high school would work in college.
I didn’t pay enough attention to my poor math entrance test results. Because I didn’t do well enough on these tests, I had to take prerequisite courses for the math courses required for my major. In effect, they were prerequisites for prerequisities. So not only did I figure that they didn’t count for anything (a mistake which cost me dearly), I didn’t think about perhaps changing my major to something that involved fewer math courses. In retrospect, I should have paid attention to the reason for these low marks and the reason for these entrance tests: I sucked at math and was nuts to take a major which involved so many math courses.
When I received a letter telling me that my grades were too low to continue my studies, I didn't go and talk to anyone about it to figure out where I could go from there. I can’t exactly say what my mindset was at the time. It could have been school burnout. By the time I got the letter, I didn't look too much into my options because I figured I could be done with school and just get a job. I was young and wasn't thinking of the long-term.
A year of working in a dead end job that I didn't like reminded me of why I wanted a degree in the first place. So I decided to move on. I chose to go to Community College instead of back to the university. But this time, I switched my major to something with less math and with more core classes than electives. Each semester I could check another 3 or 4 courses off of my checklist so it felt like progress was happening faster.
At the Community College, the first few semesters didn’t seem much different from high school. But as time went on, classes became harder and the work more time-consuming. Taking courses at a Community College was helpful, because it helped me ease into my next step: reenrollment at the University I had gone to before. But this time I made some changes:
I took advantage of some of the gaps in time between classes to get involved in some clubs. I started with just one but in my second term, joined another as well. Having less spare time between classes helped me make better use of the time I did have, so I got more work done. If there was no meeting on a given day, but I had some time, I'd hang out either in a computer lab or in the cafeteria and read my textbooks or try to knock out some homework. On club meeting days, I'd go to the meeting room early and do something for a class before the meeting started. I learned that figuring out the time management thing when you don't have a lot of time to play with is easier than when you have big chunks of time.
I took a different major than I had when I was there before, more along the lines of what I took at Community College. I found the new courses related to each other and related to my end goal. I enjoyed many of the profs because they taught using their real life experiences for the course material; this gave us better insight about how the content of the text could be used in the work force. Since I had struggled with math in the past, I took some of the necessary math courses online. The advantage was that when you did your homework online, you would immediately know if you got it right; it was helpful to submit homework answers on a website and have immediate feedback about right and wrong answers. Of course wrong answers were just wrong and there was no hint as to how to fix it or what was wrong, so it took a little longer to figure it out, but I think that was the point to doing it that way. Because our professor couldn't see our work, there couldn't be partial credit or the ability to say ‘look, you dropped your negative there and that’s why it’s wrong’. I think having to go back and figure it out helped a lot come test time. I liked having immediate results and not having to wait to know what I needed to do.
I knew that this time was my first and last chance to succeed. This was calculus, and the only chance I had to take the course and pass it -- I had reached my maximum semesters of financial aid so I needed to finish in May. All of the classes I had scheduled that year were 'must pass' classes. I had no wiggle room.
Looking back at my previous awful first year experience at University, I could have avoided my mistakes by actually going to the learning center and meeting with advisers; maybe they could have helped me to understand that failing these courses wasn’t the end of the world and help me develop a new plan. I could have also gotten involved in extracurriculars right from the start and given myself a reason to stay on campus rather than wander off. A little more focus on time management would have been helpful, although I've got to say it took me a while to figure out the secret to managing time - that being having less of it to deal with.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
An Addictive Substance, and I Started with my Eyes Open
Disclaimer: I would never suggest that anyone take up smoking just to meet friends; it is a terrible filthy habit and it is hard to quit.
But …
... I distinctly remember the first couple of days of school. I did not know anyone aside from my roommate, and neither of us really had many reasons to leave the room. One day I noticed that there were a lot of people smoking outside and I started talking to them. Soon I was smoking. After that first encounter I felt like I really knew more people; when I went to lunch, I now had people to sit with and when I saw people on campus, I now would say hi. Eventually I started hanging out with my newfound smoking buddies.
Smoking was also really important for me in my freshman year because there are times that you really feel trapped in your tiny room with little to do. It was an excuse to go outside, relieve some stress and talk to people. It’s really interesting how the people you smoke with can end up being some of your better friends just because of those little special moments you spend with them that you don’t have with other people. It becomes a sort of community – most people on campus can tell at every residence hall where people will gather to smoke. Doing something together, something that lots of people frown on, really does speed up the bonding. The alcoholics and the druggies must get that from their habits as well.
One day, my roommate said he was not going to smoke any more (a good choice) and instead we came up with the idea of buying a football and a frisbee. We went outside to throw them around and surprisingly enough, other people started to get in on it. It could be a great alternative, but I do feel that people are somewhat hesitant to ask to play. On the other hand, to be part of a group of smokers, you just have to come along and join in.
I don't regret it at all. It served a good purpose for me. But I'm glad I could give it up.
But …
... I distinctly remember the first couple of days of school. I did not know anyone aside from my roommate, and neither of us really had many reasons to leave the room. One day I noticed that there were a lot of people smoking outside and I started talking to them. Soon I was smoking. After that first encounter I felt like I really knew more people; when I went to lunch, I now had people to sit with and when I saw people on campus, I now would say hi. Eventually I started hanging out with my newfound smoking buddies.
Smoking was also really important for me in my freshman year because there are times that you really feel trapped in your tiny room with little to do. It was an excuse to go outside, relieve some stress and talk to people. It’s really interesting how the people you smoke with can end up being some of your better friends just because of those little special moments you spend with them that you don’t have with other people. It becomes a sort of community – most people on campus can tell at every residence hall where people will gather to smoke. Doing something together, something that lots of people frown on, really does speed up the bonding. The alcoholics and the druggies must get that from their habits as well.
One day, my roommate said he was not going to smoke any more (a good choice) and instead we came up with the idea of buying a football and a frisbee. We went outside to throw them around and surprisingly enough, other people started to get in on it. It could be a great alternative, but I do feel that people are somewhat hesitant to ask to play. On the other hand, to be part of a group of smokers, you just have to come along and join in.
I don't regret it at all. It served a good purpose for me. But I'm glad I could give it up.
Getting Messy with Peanut Butter: Life on a Meal Plan
There are only a few things in my residence cafeteria that I really like; very basic turkey sandwiches, honeydew melon, grapes and peanut butter toast are pretty much it. I find that a lot of food tastes like the same kind of spice and just isn’t my cup of tea. So I use my meal card as a chance to venture outside of my comfort bubble and as a way to get creative with my options to create new meals that I won’t get bored with.
Peanut Butter is food and your best friend. Although peanut butter toast is a ‘been there, done that’ kind of side dish that you have during breakfast, I challenged myself to go to the next level. I eat banana peanut butter sandwiches, peanut butter on blueberry bagels, which is absolutely tasty, and peanut butter on hot banana bread. A discovery I made in one of my lectures is that a snack of peanut butter and bananas really is an energy booster to keep you awake.
Diving into Sushi. I moved from the east coast to the west coast to attend this university. Home, we have a lot of water but not a lot of sushi. I can’t say I’m a big fish person, but I still fell in love with sushi. I stick to vegetable rolls like my personal favorite, yam sushi. Like most people, I didn’t know that yam sushi was an option. It makes some breaks in between class really special and I now know how to use chopsticks. Trying something new when you are on a meal plan is a smart thing to do. It is the right time to take that risk and try some sushi or some Indian cuisine.
How do you eat healthy? If your cafeteria offers a grill or a fast food type service, you should stay away as much as possible. Yes, hamburgers and fries are yummy in all of our tummies but will not make you feel good when you are trying to sit through a class and you are falling asleep in front of your professor. Not cool. I frequent the wrap and sandwich bar almost every single day. I also spice up my oatmeal with banana chips and granola. For snacks, I grab some fresh fruit like bananas, melon, kiwi or an apple. But there are those occasions where I get my really big mug and fill it up half way with hot chocolate and then load the rest with whip cream until it overflows. Those special and memorable treats are allowed.
Remember, it’s a meal plan - go wild with creativity.
Peanut Butter is food and your best friend. Although peanut butter toast is a ‘been there, done that’ kind of side dish that you have during breakfast, I challenged myself to go to the next level. I eat banana peanut butter sandwiches, peanut butter on blueberry bagels, which is absolutely tasty, and peanut butter on hot banana bread. A discovery I made in one of my lectures is that a snack of peanut butter and bananas really is an energy booster to keep you awake.
Diving into Sushi. I moved from the east coast to the west coast to attend this university. Home, we have a lot of water but not a lot of sushi. I can’t say I’m a big fish person, but I still fell in love with sushi. I stick to vegetable rolls like my personal favorite, yam sushi. Like most people, I didn’t know that yam sushi was an option. It makes some breaks in between class really special and I now know how to use chopsticks. Trying something new when you are on a meal plan is a smart thing to do. It is the right time to take that risk and try some sushi or some Indian cuisine.
How do you eat healthy? If your cafeteria offers a grill or a fast food type service, you should stay away as much as possible. Yes, hamburgers and fries are yummy in all of our tummies but will not make you feel good when you are trying to sit through a class and you are falling asleep in front of your professor. Not cool. I frequent the wrap and sandwich bar almost every single day. I also spice up my oatmeal with banana chips and granola. For snacks, I grab some fresh fruit like bananas, melon, kiwi or an apple. But there are those occasions where I get my really big mug and fill it up half way with hot chocolate and then load the rest with whip cream until it overflows. Those special and memorable treats are allowed.
Remember, it’s a meal plan - go wild with creativity.
Your First Year Cash Flow, Yo
Money. Oh, the stress one person can gain from worrying about it. It is an important part of getting to university and enjoying yourself while you are there.
Before you go to university, you should try to research as many scholarships as possible and apply for them. The time you spend will be well worth it. The price tag on university is a big one and it goes way beyond just tuition and housing fees. There are your books which can be astronomically costly and there is also the cost of going to campus dances, going out for a friend’s birthday dinner, buying what you need at the drug store, and dealing with those surprise notices informing you that you owe more money to the university. Any financial support that you can get before you make the transition will help you out in the long run.
I went into university with a part time job which I anticipated would help pay for all my expenses while I was there. I only worked two evenings a week but soon found it too much. I decided to leave my job in order to make time for my friends, myself and most importantly my grades. One of the biggest differences I noticed when I made the transition from high school to university is that you become even busier than you ever imagined. The schoolwork just piles up. In high school I could manage a job but in university, it seems almost impossible. I realized having good grades and a degree was more important than a minimum wage part time job. Leaving my job also freed up time to join a recreational volleyball team, which is a sport I had never played, and gave me time to spend quality time with my new friends.
So how did I manage without a job? I had a little bit of money in my bank account but my “cash flow” was cut off. I was on a meal plan so I tried as hard as I could to only eat at places that took my meal card and I tried not to touch my debit card. I had to stop shopping completely. No more new clothing and no more new toys. I quickly found out how things add up. Needing new conditioner or cold medicine was all my responsibility for me to purchase and no longer my parents’ responsibility.
I stuck to a weekly budget and tried to use as little money as possible. Soon, I was dreaming of getting conditioner under the Christmas tree and a kettle to boil my water. I looked for opportunities to go to free events like speaking engagements and for free food such as cupcakes that a department of the university was giving out. Surprisingly, there are a lot of events that come with the free tag attached and lots of opportunities to find free food. I find that the university recognizes that we are students first and we do not have time to work and make a lot of money. We lead the simple life of a university student.
My mom always told me, even if your friends act like they have a lot of money to spend- they really don’t. All university students are just as broke as you are.
Before you go to university, you should try to research as many scholarships as possible and apply for them. The time you spend will be well worth it. The price tag on university is a big one and it goes way beyond just tuition and housing fees. There are your books which can be astronomically costly and there is also the cost of going to campus dances, going out for a friend’s birthday dinner, buying what you need at the drug store, and dealing with those surprise notices informing you that you owe more money to the university. Any financial support that you can get before you make the transition will help you out in the long run.
I went into university with a part time job which I anticipated would help pay for all my expenses while I was there. I only worked two evenings a week but soon found it too much. I decided to leave my job in order to make time for my friends, myself and most importantly my grades. One of the biggest differences I noticed when I made the transition from high school to university is that you become even busier than you ever imagined. The schoolwork just piles up. In high school I could manage a job but in university, it seems almost impossible. I realized having good grades and a degree was more important than a minimum wage part time job. Leaving my job also freed up time to join a recreational volleyball team, which is a sport I had never played, and gave me time to spend quality time with my new friends.
So how did I manage without a job? I had a little bit of money in my bank account but my “cash flow” was cut off. I was on a meal plan so I tried as hard as I could to only eat at places that took my meal card and I tried not to touch my debit card. I had to stop shopping completely. No more new clothing and no more new toys. I quickly found out how things add up. Needing new conditioner or cold medicine was all my responsibility for me to purchase and no longer my parents’ responsibility.
I stuck to a weekly budget and tried to use as little money as possible. Soon, I was dreaming of getting conditioner under the Christmas tree and a kettle to boil my water. I looked for opportunities to go to free events like speaking engagements and for free food such as cupcakes that a department of the university was giving out. Surprisingly, there are a lot of events that come with the free tag attached and lots of opportunities to find free food. I find that the university recognizes that we are students first and we do not have time to work and make a lot of money. We lead the simple life of a university student.
My mom always told me, even if your friends act like they have a lot of money to spend- they really don’t. All university students are just as broke as you are.
A Computer Science Major
I had already known I wanted to be a computer science major so I got to jump right into those classes and the prerequisites required for that degree.
One of the requirements was physics. I hated that class. The teacher was an immigrant who came over fifteen years ago, if I remember correctly. The class started slowly but ramped up fast. He was a genius who always wore sweat pants and had chalk all over himself. Sometimes he would forget what language he had to teach in and think out loud in his native tongue. The class always let him continue because it was usually funny for him to catch himself five minutes later.
He was so smart, he went over everyone's heads in his lectures. The class would start with an empty blackboard and by the end of the hour class, the entire Greek alphabet would be written on the board in odd combinations. And behind each letter was a formula full of other letters. The class was more of a 'learn how to learn' experience then learning physics. But I survived. In fact we learned more than we knew from this class. Not only did we learn the Physics, we also learned how to do this kind of work on our own.
In some of my other classes, I'm told people think they are just as hard as physics was to me, but those come much easier. I'm a very detail-oriented person and that helps when programming or thinking out algorithms. My teachers and classes have really developed that skill which I'm grateful for. One of my favorite teachers in particular taught a class that really opened up the door to my major and pushed me in the right direction.
I've always liked the grading system here. Some of my CS classes have three tests, three projects, and a final; that's my grade. I always know where I stand. I disliked the mandatory mundane homework assignments that I was forced to do in high school. They never suited my learning style. Now, if I take solid notes and listen attentively, I remember what I need to know. I am my own self-assessment tool before tests. The drill and the busy work are, for me, unnecessary.
The only other grading I thought was interesting was in an English class last year. It was a class with a very cultured professor who spoke his mind and never apologized for it. My friends and I in the class always found him funny and still quote him today. The class was on war stories, and then exams usually consisted of philosophical questions revolving around the topics touched on in the books or the characters’ responses to certain events.
The tests didn’t involve reciting summaries. But rather, making emotional connections from things that I used to see as insignificant, but now I see as conversation starters. I always enjoy classes like that which offer me a new way of looking at things that I never would have thought of looking at in the first place. The stronger connection you made, the better the grade. Those were some of my favorite papers to write.
You can see that I think of myself as a happy and contented student. And I am: there's such a lot that goes on around here that's so interesting, so rewarding, and so fulfilling.
One of the requirements was physics. I hated that class. The teacher was an immigrant who came over fifteen years ago, if I remember correctly. The class started slowly but ramped up fast. He was a genius who always wore sweat pants and had chalk all over himself. Sometimes he would forget what language he had to teach in and think out loud in his native tongue. The class always let him continue because it was usually funny for him to catch himself five minutes later.
He was so smart, he went over everyone's heads in his lectures. The class would start with an empty blackboard and by the end of the hour class, the entire Greek alphabet would be written on the board in odd combinations. And behind each letter was a formula full of other letters. The class was more of a 'learn how to learn' experience then learning physics. But I survived. In fact we learned more than we knew from this class. Not only did we learn the Physics, we also learned how to do this kind of work on our own.
In some of my other classes, I'm told people think they are just as hard as physics was to me, but those come much easier. I'm a very detail-oriented person and that helps when programming or thinking out algorithms. My teachers and classes have really developed that skill which I'm grateful for. One of my favorite teachers in particular taught a class that really opened up the door to my major and pushed me in the right direction.
I've always liked the grading system here. Some of my CS classes have three tests, three projects, and a final; that's my grade. I always know where I stand. I disliked the mandatory mundane homework assignments that I was forced to do in high school. They never suited my learning style. Now, if I take solid notes and listen attentively, I remember what I need to know. I am my own self-assessment tool before tests. The drill and the busy work are, for me, unnecessary.
The only other grading I thought was interesting was in an English class last year. It was a class with a very cultured professor who spoke his mind and never apologized for it. My friends and I in the class always found him funny and still quote him today. The class was on war stories, and then exams usually consisted of philosophical questions revolving around the topics touched on in the books or the characters’ responses to certain events.
The tests didn’t involve reciting summaries. But rather, making emotional connections from things that I used to see as insignificant, but now I see as conversation starters. I always enjoy classes like that which offer me a new way of looking at things that I never would have thought of looking at in the first place. The stronger connection you made, the better the grade. Those were some of my favorite papers to write.
You can see that I think of myself as a happy and contented student. And I am: there's such a lot that goes on around here that's so interesting, so rewarding, and so fulfilling.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Bullshitting
Everyone is familiar with the term. It is an ancient practice that has been learned, refined, and passed down through generations in all types of professions. When it comes to the profession of being a student, it can make or break the grade, the class, the professor-student relationship, and the shape of things to come. But most of all, it can influence how much time you have to focus on other, more important things than research papers or PowerPoint presentations — like online gaming. It is the age-old and invaluable art… of bullshitting.
If done correctly, bullshitting saves everyone a lot of pain and anguish — in the short term, that is. The student is happy not doing any real work, and the professor is happy because it appears that the student did do some real work. To correctly bullshit a research paper, one must write with flair — with fluff, with big words and lengthy sentences that add to its sophisticated tone. There must be shit, but not too much shit. At the same time, one must remember that crafting the structure and clarity of the shit is an incredibly important part of the process— so that the shit does not, in fact, look like shit. Unless, of course, you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about, in which case it’s better to generalize the shit as much as possible.
I used to be good at bullshitting. Very good. I could bullshit my way through a paper, sure. Papers weren’t a big deal. I could even bullshit my knowledge of an assigned reading while speaking in front of the class if I wanted to. I like to think that I still am a good bullshitter, to some extent, because a little bullshitting here and there can be a useful skill to have in life, but something has changed since I came to college. Some of the teachers — they know.
Allow me to give an example: I’m sitting in my theater and group process class one evening, and I realize that we’ve been assigned to do a brief reading from our textbook. It’s not that I was being lazy, mind you, it’s just that it completely slipped my mind. Well, I think to myself, you’ve had practice with this. No problem, you know what you’re doing. Just speak with confidence. Don’t flinch.
You’d think I would have known better than to try and out-act an acting professor. We go around in a circle discussing what we found interesting about the reading. OK, I think, all I have to do is repeat something that someone else said, but rearrange it so that it sounds different. This is easy. We come around to me, and I say something along the lines of, “I agree. The idea of using extemporaneous improvisation to form fluid sculptures in this context is something I found especially interesting in this section. I guess because I’ve always felt it would be a difficult thing to do, because of all of the mental preparation involved.”
My professor watches me as I speak, and I look back at him, confidently. After I’m done, I don’t let my eyes go anywhere else. Wandering eyes are a dead-give away. This is what it really comes down to when bullshitting— each person tries to find out how far the other is willing to go before… the shit hits the fan.
“Can you elaborate on that?” my professor suddenly asks.
Uh-oh.
“Well, it seems that I just, um, I don’t see how it would be possible for me, personally to…come up with something like that on the spot.”
Oh, the irony.
“OK,” my professor says, giving me a knowing look. He’s grinning. Yup, he knows.
Damn it.
Don’t try this at college, kids. This might have worked on your high school English teachers, but it probably won’t work on your college professors. Bullshitting should be a last resort, and by last resort, I mean that it should come even after telling your professor that you didn’t actually do the reading, study for the test, or whatever. Let me stress, however, that guessing and bullshitting are not the same thing. If you think that you might know the answer (and most of the time you’ll have at least an inkling of confidence that you just might possibly know what you’re talking about), go for it. On the other hand, if you have absolutely no idea what the answer is, and you think that you might try your luck anyway, don’t bother.
Bullshitting should be used very sparingly in life. In school, honestly, it can hurt your chances, so please, try to restrain yourselves. The fact is that you can’t make up stuff all the time, because, let’s face it, there’s only so much shit to go around.
If done correctly, bullshitting saves everyone a lot of pain and anguish — in the short term, that is. The student is happy not doing any real work, and the professor is happy because it appears that the student did do some real work. To correctly bullshit a research paper, one must write with flair — with fluff, with big words and lengthy sentences that add to its sophisticated tone. There must be shit, but not too much shit. At the same time, one must remember that crafting the structure and clarity of the shit is an incredibly important part of the process— so that the shit does not, in fact, look like shit. Unless, of course, you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about, in which case it’s better to generalize the shit as much as possible.
I used to be good at bullshitting. Very good. I could bullshit my way through a paper, sure. Papers weren’t a big deal. I could even bullshit my knowledge of an assigned reading while speaking in front of the class if I wanted to. I like to think that I still am a good bullshitter, to some extent, because a little bullshitting here and there can be a useful skill to have in life, but something has changed since I came to college. Some of the teachers — they know.
Allow me to give an example: I’m sitting in my theater and group process class one evening, and I realize that we’ve been assigned to do a brief reading from our textbook. It’s not that I was being lazy, mind you, it’s just that it completely slipped my mind. Well, I think to myself, you’ve had practice with this. No problem, you know what you’re doing. Just speak with confidence. Don’t flinch.
You’d think I would have known better than to try and out-act an acting professor. We go around in a circle discussing what we found interesting about the reading. OK, I think, all I have to do is repeat something that someone else said, but rearrange it so that it sounds different. This is easy. We come around to me, and I say something along the lines of, “I agree. The idea of using extemporaneous improvisation to form fluid sculptures in this context is something I found especially interesting in this section. I guess because I’ve always felt it would be a difficult thing to do, because of all of the mental preparation involved.”
My professor watches me as I speak, and I look back at him, confidently. After I’m done, I don’t let my eyes go anywhere else. Wandering eyes are a dead-give away. This is what it really comes down to when bullshitting— each person tries to find out how far the other is willing to go before… the shit hits the fan.
“Can you elaborate on that?” my professor suddenly asks.
Uh-oh.
“Well, it seems that I just, um, I don’t see how it would be possible for me, personally to…come up with something like that on the spot.”
Oh, the irony.
“OK,” my professor says, giving me a knowing look. He’s grinning. Yup, he knows.
Damn it.
Don’t try this at college, kids. This might have worked on your high school English teachers, but it probably won’t work on your college professors. Bullshitting should be a last resort, and by last resort, I mean that it should come even after telling your professor that you didn’t actually do the reading, study for the test, or whatever. Let me stress, however, that guessing and bullshitting are not the same thing. If you think that you might know the answer (and most of the time you’ll have at least an inkling of confidence that you just might possibly know what you’re talking about), go for it. On the other hand, if you have absolutely no idea what the answer is, and you think that you might try your luck anyway, don’t bother.
Bullshitting should be used very sparingly in life. In school, honestly, it can hurt your chances, so please, try to restrain yourselves. The fact is that you can’t make up stuff all the time, because, let’s face it, there’s only so much shit to go around.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Third Time Around
Lots of people at university have trouble with their roommate. I can beat most; I had trouble with two of mine.
When I first arrived, I had all these grandiose ideas of how much I was going to learn, how much freedom I had now, and all the new friends I was going to make. But once I had moved in, I somehow omitted doing some of these things.
Moving in, I was first paired to live with another random freshman. We never really got to know each other or the rest of the people on our floor. I clung to friends at home via computer and phone for my first semester and kept to myself for the most part because of how different everyone seemed to be. He did the same.
Later on that year, he moved to another dorm and another random person moved in. I had high hopes this time. But they were dashed because as well as being grungy and smelly, my new roommate was an annoying hermit. He never really left our room and always preferred two TVs on at a time. One was for the same reruns we had watched hundreds of times, and the other for his video games. I never got along with him. And again I kept to myself and clung to the idea that I wouldn't meet a group of friends like I had at home, so why bother trying to make new ones?
Since I did not enjoy living with the hygienically challenged hermit, once I was presented with the opportunity to move in with another random person, I took it. This time, I got lucky -- well, not in the way you might be thinking. My new roommate Kevin was outgoing and already knew everyone else on my floor. We had the same interests, the same tastes in music, and neither of us minded making a fool out of ourselves for a laugh. Eventually, I felt comfortable enough where I lived to really get to know my neighbors. Today, that group of people on the dorm bottom floor are some of my best friends. Even though I got lucky third time around, I wish I would have tried harder to make some of these changes before.
I had only ever felt comfortable living back home; now I felt like I had a second home here. I learned two valuable lessons by going through all three roommates. One, get to know the people that live around you. It makes all the difference. Two, don't compromise with your living situation. If you are uncomfortable it will impact your entire college experience. You have to feel at home, so once you're reasonably sure the existing situation isn't going to work out, don't delay. Find out how to make the necessary changes, and get them made.
(Come to think of it, that could be a rather good rule for the rest of your life as well.)
I've stuck to those two rules since, and have enjoyed every moment of being here. These rules aren't specific to me; I know plenty of people here and on other campuses who have had the same problems adjusting to their new living situations. The ones who are outgoing and give a sincere effort to meet new people are the ones who stayed at the schools and love every waking moment.
When I first arrived, I had all these grandiose ideas of how much I was going to learn, how much freedom I had now, and all the new friends I was going to make. But once I had moved in, I somehow omitted doing some of these things.
Moving in, I was first paired to live with another random freshman. We never really got to know each other or the rest of the people on our floor. I clung to friends at home via computer and phone for my first semester and kept to myself for the most part because of how different everyone seemed to be. He did the same.
Later on that year, he moved to another dorm and another random person moved in. I had high hopes this time. But they were dashed because as well as being grungy and smelly, my new roommate was an annoying hermit. He never really left our room and always preferred two TVs on at a time. One was for the same reruns we had watched hundreds of times, and the other for his video games. I never got along with him. And again I kept to myself and clung to the idea that I wouldn't meet a group of friends like I had at home, so why bother trying to make new ones?
Since I did not enjoy living with the hygienically challenged hermit, once I was presented with the opportunity to move in with another random person, I took it. This time, I got lucky -- well, not in the way you might be thinking. My new roommate Kevin was outgoing and already knew everyone else on my floor. We had the same interests, the same tastes in music, and neither of us minded making a fool out of ourselves for a laugh. Eventually, I felt comfortable enough where I lived to really get to know my neighbors. Today, that group of people on the dorm bottom floor are some of my best friends. Even though I got lucky third time around, I wish I would have tried harder to make some of these changes before.
I had only ever felt comfortable living back home; now I felt like I had a second home here. I learned two valuable lessons by going through all three roommates. One, get to know the people that live around you. It makes all the difference. Two, don't compromise with your living situation. If you are uncomfortable it will impact your entire college experience. You have to feel at home, so once you're reasonably sure the existing situation isn't going to work out, don't delay. Find out how to make the necessary changes, and get them made.
(Come to think of it, that could be a rather good rule for the rest of your life as well.)
I've stuck to those two rules since, and have enjoyed every moment of being here. These rules aren't specific to me; I know plenty of people here and on other campuses who have had the same problems adjusting to their new living situations. The ones who are outgoing and give a sincere effort to meet new people are the ones who stayed at the schools and love every waking moment.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Prestigious High Schools
Most of the people here in programs like mine have been to prestigious high schools, either private ones or special high schools within the public system like I did. To get into the one I went to, we had to submit a resume and take a specialized high school exam at age 13. I think around 10 000 people take the exam, and only around 800 are accepted.
The major emphasis in the school was to prepare students for universities and programs like the one I am in and then to help the students get into the program, so I was surrounded by people who were ambitious for themselves and used to giving 150%. There were plenty of extra activities to participate in, and Advanced Placement courses that I think are similar to the Baccalaureate programs I’ve heard other people here talk about. The teachers too: they expected a lot from us, and alumni would come around quite a lot and talk to us about their university experiences, and what they’d done afterwards. There were lots of role models around, lots of opportunities to push ourselves, and everyone was expected to achieve at a high level. In my final year, I went to nine periods straight through, with no lunch. So in a way being here was a luxury. And yes, there, I was at the top.
I have friends who went to other Universities closer to where I came from. From what I hear, things are much less demanding there. One Wednesday evening I got a call from some of my friends from home who were quite drunk – at a party! Like on Wednesday night!! I couldn’t believe it.
I think it must be quite hard for students who have not been to my kind of high school to handle the work. We were prepared for it, all our classmates were very hard working and those other people would not have been. In fact, the university offers a preadmission program to help those students catch up to where we were when we came out of high school. I’m sure they’d need that, or they’d drown when they got to the regular first-year classes. For me though, the work wasn’t all that much different from what I was used to, except that it is intensified and I am more on my own, studying on my own rather than with the guidance of teachers. But my high school did help me to develop the skills and the work habits I needed to get along and do well and for that, I am grateful.
The major emphasis in the school was to prepare students for universities and programs like the one I am in and then to help the students get into the program, so I was surrounded by people who were ambitious for themselves and used to giving 150%. There were plenty of extra activities to participate in, and Advanced Placement courses that I think are similar to the Baccalaureate programs I’ve heard other people here talk about. The teachers too: they expected a lot from us, and alumni would come around quite a lot and talk to us about their university experiences, and what they’d done afterwards. There were lots of role models around, lots of opportunities to push ourselves, and everyone was expected to achieve at a high level. In my final year, I went to nine periods straight through, with no lunch. So in a way being here was a luxury. And yes, there, I was at the top.
I have friends who went to other Universities closer to where I came from. From what I hear, things are much less demanding there. One Wednesday evening I got a call from some of my friends from home who were quite drunk – at a party! Like on Wednesday night!! I couldn’t believe it.
I think it must be quite hard for students who have not been to my kind of high school to handle the work. We were prepared for it, all our classmates were very hard working and those other people would not have been. In fact, the university offers a preadmission program to help those students catch up to where we were when we came out of high school. I’m sure they’d need that, or they’d drown when they got to the regular first-year classes. For me though, the work wasn’t all that much different from what I was used to, except that it is intensified and I am more on my own, studying on my own rather than with the guidance of teachers. But my high school did help me to develop the skills and the work habits I needed to get along and do well and for that, I am grateful.
Taking Stock
The term has just come to its conclusion, so there's time to pause and catch breath. The past week has seen some phenomenally nice weather; although this does seem to be the norm when coursework deadlines start to arrive. Fortunately, it promises to hang around for the next couple of days and thus will provide an appropriate setting to relax in.
The exodus from campus for the break has meant the holiday atmosphere is similarly laid back with a few mostly international, medical or mature students left to hold the fort. Unfortunately for some, the profs are all too well aware of the break, and have assigned more than enough work to fill it. There are at least three pieces of coursework outstanding and a fair bit of background reading to do. So if the weather holds, then it could make for a pleasant working environment in the atrium in a sunny spot.
So what have learned so far? I've heard it said that you learn a lot about yourself at University. This is true for me on many different levels. Arriving in September, I was nursing two ongoing sports related injures. People at work used to tell me that aches and pains start occurring about my age; I suspect it is a culmination of all the abuse that the body gets put through over time. Fortunately, the doctor at the University Medical Centre has extensive knowledge diagnosing sports injuries and the physiotherapist has been very helpful. They were able to treat my shoulder and refer me to a specialist to resolve the issues with my feet, which were found to be less than ideal for running on - but not bad going since I've done two half-marathons and was in the habit of running 10k at least twice a week for the two years.
Anyhow, it has involved me being very patient in holding off from the running, but hopefully I can back into those activities full throttle in the next academic year. Meanwhile for the first time in my life, a convenient indoor pool should keep the heart in good shape.
Next up, I was recently assessed for learning differences and found to be dyslexic. We tend to assume that as people have increasing intellectual capability, then all abilities will rise in a relatively uniform manner with perhaps some slight variation. In the case of a person with a learning difference, they will be excessively bright in some areas and relatively weak in others: the variance of those abilities is outside the statistical norm. Reading and writing at insufficient speed for University education is not uncommon; what you have to do is work around it. For example, I take a longer time than most to ingest a technical specification for a software project, but once the idea has been conveyed, I will work at double quick pace when it comes to the implementation of it.
This isn't really any great surprise to me or anyone who knows me at all well. Fortunately, the people at the Learning Differences Centre (LDC) at the University are very friendly and have expertise in developing learning strategies around the various strengths and weaknesses that a person may have. This may well mean the difference between an A and a B, but also will involve extra work on my part to show what I can do; but again, that's not a shock -- I'm used to it.
Finally, Semester 1 results got returned to us just over a month ago and it took me a good while to get used to them. After the exams, I felt I would be coming back in the summer for one, if not two, of the modules as some of the exams did not seem to go well. As it turns out, I achieved an A- on four of the modules and only missed out on that grade for the remaining one. So a decent set of results all round.
Considering my background and the approach I took during last semester, this is probably what I might have expected. I always look, well not on the black side of things, but at least on the dark grey side. But for now at least, I'm feeling quite mellow about it all.
The exodus from campus for the break has meant the holiday atmosphere is similarly laid back with a few mostly international, medical or mature students left to hold the fort. Unfortunately for some, the profs are all too well aware of the break, and have assigned more than enough work to fill it. There are at least three pieces of coursework outstanding and a fair bit of background reading to do. So if the weather holds, then it could make for a pleasant working environment in the atrium in a sunny spot.
So what have learned so far? I've heard it said that you learn a lot about yourself at University. This is true for me on many different levels. Arriving in September, I was nursing two ongoing sports related injures. People at work used to tell me that aches and pains start occurring about my age; I suspect it is a culmination of all the abuse that the body gets put through over time. Fortunately, the doctor at the University Medical Centre has extensive knowledge diagnosing sports injuries and the physiotherapist has been very helpful. They were able to treat my shoulder and refer me to a specialist to resolve the issues with my feet, which were found to be less than ideal for running on - but not bad going since I've done two half-marathons and was in the habit of running 10k at least twice a week for the two years.
Anyhow, it has involved me being very patient in holding off from the running, but hopefully I can back into those activities full throttle in the next academic year. Meanwhile for the first time in my life, a convenient indoor pool should keep the heart in good shape.
Next up, I was recently assessed for learning differences and found to be dyslexic. We tend to assume that as people have increasing intellectual capability, then all abilities will rise in a relatively uniform manner with perhaps some slight variation. In the case of a person with a learning difference, they will be excessively bright in some areas and relatively weak in others: the variance of those abilities is outside the statistical norm. Reading and writing at insufficient speed for University education is not uncommon; what you have to do is work around it. For example, I take a longer time than most to ingest a technical specification for a software project, but once the idea has been conveyed, I will work at double quick pace when it comes to the implementation of it.
This isn't really any great surprise to me or anyone who knows me at all well. Fortunately, the people at the Learning Differences Centre (LDC) at the University are very friendly and have expertise in developing learning strategies around the various strengths and weaknesses that a person may have. This may well mean the difference between an A and a B, but also will involve extra work on my part to show what I can do; but again, that's not a shock -- I'm used to it.
Finally, Semester 1 results got returned to us just over a month ago and it took me a good while to get used to them. After the exams, I felt I would be coming back in the summer for one, if not two, of the modules as some of the exams did not seem to go well. As it turns out, I achieved an A- on four of the modules and only missed out on that grade for the remaining one. So a decent set of results all round.
Considering my background and the approach I took during last semester, this is probably what I might have expected. I always look, well not on the black side of things, but at least on the dark grey side. But for now at least, I'm feeling quite mellow about it all.
House Hunting
End of First Year. House hunting time! OK it is not the most romantic subject, but a job to do.
As you no doubt imagine, this task was not the magical mystery tour for me as it can be for many others. The questions are deeply ingrained in my head: Is there a reliable and fast net connection? How safe does it feel if you go out by yourself at night? How safe is it, actually? How is heat, and in my case, aircon? Roaches, Bedbugs? Are the neighbours noisy? How far is the nearest supermarket and pub?
The University is keen to point out the number of student properties in the city is more than sufficient to account for the combined number of students in the area. That means that the range of accommodation on offer is quite consistent in price and quality -- it varies most according to its distance from the main part of the campus. Being prepared to walk or take a bike for a few minutes back and forth can save you a lot of money. (Remember, though, a pleasant ride in September will turn into a dirty and dangerous nightmare in January.) In other places, it's really important to check on the bus service. A friend of mine, in a University in a bigger city and a year ahead of me, had a bad experience: he hadn't realized that he'd need to change buses twice to get to the University in the morning and twice more back to his house in the afternoon. What took about seven minutes in the car in September took almost an hour in rush hour for the rest of the year.
Given all that, I was determined to be cautious and picky. The experience of making some bad snap judgements in the past has reinforced this way of thinking. That being said it took two days of looking and six properties before our group settled on a house. In all honesty, it is a truly cracking setup. Otherwise, I would not have been happy with making a decision in such a short timeframe and the deal looks to be a good one. We were all very much in favour of the property from the initial viewing. Although, I felt it necessary to force at least an hour of deliberation to ensure we were not missing anything obvious.
The problem that I encountered was the Guarantor form, or rather lack therefore of. As neither of my parents work (one is retired and the other is soon-to-be retired), this ruled them out from signing one. I understand that if you are a student with no credit history and no references then the need for a guarantor is justified. After all, if you are running an agency then one of your responsibilities is to find tenants who can pay and will pay. But hold on a sec, I do have references, I do have a credit history and I do have proof of funding for the next couple of years, so should that not be sufficient? It was good enough for my previous Landlords/Agencies. Apparently not, judging by the expression of one of the women in the office. She hadn't seen anyone in my situation before, and had no idea to respond. Not quite "Computer says no", but not far off. Perhaps I would like pay a year in advance? No thank you. Call me old fashioned, but I'm not keen on trusting my bank with that kind of money. Fortunately persistence and patience pays off: a word with the director of the company and sanity prevailed.
Now the place to live for the next year is settled, better make sure I'm still at the University to enjoy it :).
As you no doubt imagine, this task was not the magical mystery tour for me as it can be for many others. The questions are deeply ingrained in my head: Is there a reliable and fast net connection? How safe does it feel if you go out by yourself at night? How safe is it, actually? How is heat, and in my case, aircon? Roaches, Bedbugs? Are the neighbours noisy? How far is the nearest supermarket and pub?
The University is keen to point out the number of student properties in the city is more than sufficient to account for the combined number of students in the area. That means that the range of accommodation on offer is quite consistent in price and quality -- it varies most according to its distance from the main part of the campus. Being prepared to walk or take a bike for a few minutes back and forth can save you a lot of money. (Remember, though, a pleasant ride in September will turn into a dirty and dangerous nightmare in January.) In other places, it's really important to check on the bus service. A friend of mine, in a University in a bigger city and a year ahead of me, had a bad experience: he hadn't realized that he'd need to change buses twice to get to the University in the morning and twice more back to his house in the afternoon. What took about seven minutes in the car in September took almost an hour in rush hour for the rest of the year.
Given all that, I was determined to be cautious and picky. The experience of making some bad snap judgements in the past has reinforced this way of thinking. That being said it took two days of looking and six properties before our group settled on a house. In all honesty, it is a truly cracking setup. Otherwise, I would not have been happy with making a decision in such a short timeframe and the deal looks to be a good one. We were all very much in favour of the property from the initial viewing. Although, I felt it necessary to force at least an hour of deliberation to ensure we were not missing anything obvious.
The problem that I encountered was the Guarantor form, or rather lack therefore of. As neither of my parents work (one is retired and the other is soon-to-be retired), this ruled them out from signing one. I understand that if you are a student with no credit history and no references then the need for a guarantor is justified. After all, if you are running an agency then one of your responsibilities is to find tenants who can pay and will pay. But hold on a sec, I do have references, I do have a credit history and I do have proof of funding for the next couple of years, so should that not be sufficient? It was good enough for my previous Landlords/Agencies. Apparently not, judging by the expression of one of the women in the office. She hadn't seen anyone in my situation before, and had no idea to respond. Not quite "Computer says no", but not far off. Perhaps I would like pay a year in advance? No thank you. Call me old fashioned, but I'm not keen on trusting my bank with that kind of money. Fortunately persistence and patience pays off: a word with the director of the company and sanity prevailed.
Now the place to live for the next year is settled, better make sure I'm still at the University to enjoy it :).
My Favorite Time-Wasting Techniques
I want to share my favorite timewasting techniques. Let’s be honest …I’ve been awake since 9:30 am “working” but a lot of that time has been spent wasting time online. OK, here we go:
1) Online TV - Exam time is a great time to catch up on all those TV shows you missed out in the year! I am a huge fan of comedies, both new and old, but I just started watching a new reality show that is quickly becoming one of my favorites.
2) Movie trailers – With trailers that are much better quality than YouTube as well as a bunch of interesting Indie films, I probably spend 3-5 hours a week watching these on my computers. I have one friend who texts me every time she finds a new trailer that she thinks is interesting which usually leads to me finding three more that I want to see. It’s a bad addiction.
3) Movies – Just like TV shows, catch up on all those movies you haven’t had time to watch. Or, if you’re like me, go back and rewatch those classics films like Star Wars. Who knew there were so many AMAZING lines in those early movies. Nothing is better than a 2 hour break from Strategic Studies by watching Star Wars and analyzing the Rebellion’s Clausewitzian strategies.
4) Blogs – In addition to writing my blog (which trust me, is a huge time waster … though I hope in a good way!) I also regularly check other blogs. There’s one called “This is why you’re fat” which is probably the most disgusting and most beautiful blog I have ever seen. Where else can you see pictures of deep fried Cadbury Eggs, Junk Food Pizzas, or other culinary delights like that? There’s another that always has some crazy technological doo-dads on there, and finally my absolute fave is just a funny funny site.
5) Facebook. 'Nuff said.
1) Online TV - Exam time is a great time to catch up on all those TV shows you missed out in the year! I am a huge fan of comedies, both new and old, but I just started watching a new reality show that is quickly becoming one of my favorites.
2) Movie trailers – With trailers that are much better quality than YouTube as well as a bunch of interesting Indie films, I probably spend 3-5 hours a week watching these on my computers. I have one friend who texts me every time she finds a new trailer that she thinks is interesting which usually leads to me finding three more that I want to see. It’s a bad addiction.
3) Movies – Just like TV shows, catch up on all those movies you haven’t had time to watch. Or, if you’re like me, go back and rewatch those classics films like Star Wars. Who knew there were so many AMAZING lines in those early movies. Nothing is better than a 2 hour break from Strategic Studies by watching Star Wars and analyzing the Rebellion’s Clausewitzian strategies.
4) Blogs – In addition to writing my blog (which trust me, is a huge time waster … though I hope in a good way!) I also regularly check other blogs. There’s one called “This is why you’re fat” which is probably the most disgusting and most beautiful blog I have ever seen. Where else can you see pictures of deep fried Cadbury Eggs, Junk Food Pizzas, or other culinary delights like that? There’s another that always has some crazy technological doo-dads on there, and finally my absolute fave is just a funny funny site.
5) Facebook. 'Nuff said.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Internetless
For the past two days, my computer (Rosa) has been without Internet. During those two days, I felt so cut off from the world. Normally when I wake up, the first thing I do is stumble to my desk and check my email. And then I get my breakfast and check my email again. And then I wash my dishes and check my email again. By the end of the day, I probably check it around 80 times. Now, I had to catch a few computer minutes at the library if there was one available (a rare occurrence), or find someone in my residence whose computer wasn't in use -- also rare.
To go from checking 80 times to around 2 is a drastic change. At the same time, it was nice to have a change from my normal routine. Instead of sitting in front of my computer, I was wandering around the house while eating my breakfast, visiting my friends who I normally wait for in my room. It was nice to not constantly be signed into chat etc, and to be forced to go out to connect. Of course, I never received anything drastic or important during those two days; I realized that the time that I spend on the Internet could definitely be better spent elsewhere. So I decided: from now on, my monitor spends most of its time turned off. I will live a real life as opposed to a virtual one.
It's a Saturday night and as always, there are a lot of really different things going on. One of our neighbor residences is having a floor crawl and I'll be heading over there to serve later. A few of my friends are going to a party off campus and even more of my friends are in the lounge watching all six Star Wars movies in a row. (Serious commitment, they started at 9 am.) No matter what, there is always a plethora of activities going on here. I remember being worried because this town didn't have the clubs or nightlife that a larger city might have. But now that I'm here, I realize how great it is to be in such a small town. We have to make our own entertainment on the weekends; we can't just escape and run away to the waiting city. I think in the end, it brings us all closer together. We're all a part of this bubble whether we like it or not.
Another insight I wouldn't have got from the computer screen.
To go from checking 80 times to around 2 is a drastic change. At the same time, it was nice to have a change from my normal routine. Instead of sitting in front of my computer, I was wandering around the house while eating my breakfast, visiting my friends who I normally wait for in my room. It was nice to not constantly be signed into chat etc, and to be forced to go out to connect. Of course, I never received anything drastic or important during those two days; I realized that the time that I spend on the Internet could definitely be better spent elsewhere. So I decided: from now on, my monitor spends most of its time turned off. I will live a real life as opposed to a virtual one.
It's a Saturday night and as always, there are a lot of really different things going on. One of our neighbor residences is having a floor crawl and I'll be heading over there to serve later. A few of my friends are going to a party off campus and even more of my friends are in the lounge watching all six Star Wars movies in a row. (Serious commitment, they started at 9 am.) No matter what, there is always a plethora of activities going on here. I remember being worried because this town didn't have the clubs or nightlife that a larger city might have. But now that I'm here, I realize how great it is to be in such a small town. We have to make our own entertainment on the weekends; we can't just escape and run away to the waiting city. I think in the end, it brings us all closer together. We're all a part of this bubble whether we like it or not.
Another insight I wouldn't have got from the computer screen.
Freeing Yourself
I really like routines. I like structure and knowing what’s going to happen and I always want the things that I’m doing to have a purpose. This might sound really terrible, but to me it’s great because it provides stability for my life. Sure, there is loads of flexibility within the given structure, but the stability is still there as a fallback.
I have this pre-exam ritual that I’ve been slowly building on since my freshman year. I have to be alone in my room an hour before the exam. I watch the same YouTube videos, listen to the same playlist of songs and essentially get myself in the zone for exams. I always bring 3 blue Bic ballpoint pens and 2 Number 2 Ticonderoga pencils to the exam with me. I had a friend ask me once if he could borrow a pencil from me and I had to say no. I always sit in the front of the examination room, always line up the pens and pencils the same way, everything. I do the same thing after exams too. It sounds really OCD and crazy, but I’ve gotten so used to doing things this way, I would feel unlucky if I broke the trend.
Why do I bring this up? Well, first off, I thought you were all reading this because you wanted to learn ALL about me. Just kidding. I know it’s because you’re bored and don’t want to study. But there is a deeper purpose behind this, I swear! This year I’ve been really lucky because I’ve broken pretty much all of the rituals and habits I got into last year (except for the exam one, obviously). And you know what? Sure it was scary and the unknown wasn’t as comfortable or as safe as the routines and practices of before, but I think that I learned a lot more this year than the prior year.
I think if I had to go back and make a new New Year’s Resolution, it would be to be more spontaneous and to just do things because I can. I remember one weekend night, my friends and I got a bunch of fireworks and shot them off. We didn’t go to the pub or out to any parties, but spent probably an hour searching, finding, and firing off the fireworks. It was amazing and one of the most fun times I had this term. It was simple, easy, and spontaneous.
I have this pre-exam ritual that I’ve been slowly building on since my freshman year. I have to be alone in my room an hour before the exam. I watch the same YouTube videos, listen to the same playlist of songs and essentially get myself in the zone for exams. I always bring 3 blue Bic ballpoint pens and 2 Number 2 Ticonderoga pencils to the exam with me. I had a friend ask me once if he could borrow a pencil from me and I had to say no. I always sit in the front of the examination room, always line up the pens and pencils the same way, everything. I do the same thing after exams too. It sounds really OCD and crazy, but I’ve gotten so used to doing things this way, I would feel unlucky if I broke the trend.
Why do I bring this up? Well, first off, I thought you were all reading this because you wanted to learn ALL about me. Just kidding. I know it’s because you’re bored and don’t want to study. But there is a deeper purpose behind this, I swear! This year I’ve been really lucky because I’ve broken pretty much all of the rituals and habits I got into last year (except for the exam one, obviously). And you know what? Sure it was scary and the unknown wasn’t as comfortable or as safe as the routines and practices of before, but I think that I learned a lot more this year than the prior year.
I think if I had to go back and make a new New Year’s Resolution, it would be to be more spontaneous and to just do things because I can. I remember one weekend night, my friends and I got a bunch of fireworks and shot them off. We didn’t go to the pub or out to any parties, but spent probably an hour searching, finding, and firing off the fireworks. It was amazing and one of the most fun times I had this term. It was simple, easy, and spontaneous.
To All My Friends
In my attempts to avoid writing my final essay for a course, I was on YouTube today and the video for “Stand by Me” popped up. That video had a really profound effect on me as it made me think about how we don’t take enough time to acknowledge those people around us, whether they are family or friends. They are the people who stand by us through good times and bad.
A lot of my friends have had long term relationships end this semester. I don’t know if it was just something in the campus air, but instead of last year when the majority of my friends were in long-term relationships, I have a lot of newly single friends. It’s definitely a weird shift and people always seem to look sad when someone makes a joke about dying alone. But at the same time, I think it can be a good thing. I know that it has made me appreciate my friends.
After my breakup, three of the people I was rooming with this semester took care of me, baking me cookies, making me smile and laugh, and generally making sure that I didn’t fade away. Their acts of kindness made me realize what good friends I have. I still carry around some of the random notes they wrote me during those weeks and when I’m feeling down, I pull them out for a little pick-me-up. I guess that they made me realize that you don’t necessarily need a significant other to stand by you, but just a group of good friends.
It sucks that we don’t always take the time to appreciate our friends. I hope my friends realize how much I appreciate them.. They stand by me and hopefully, they know that I will always stand by them.
A lot of my friends have had long term relationships end this semester. I don’t know if it was just something in the campus air, but instead of last year when the majority of my friends were in long-term relationships, I have a lot of newly single friends. It’s definitely a weird shift and people always seem to look sad when someone makes a joke about dying alone. But at the same time, I think it can be a good thing. I know that it has made me appreciate my friends.
After my breakup, three of the people I was rooming with this semester took care of me, baking me cookies, making me smile and laugh, and generally making sure that I didn’t fade away. Their acts of kindness made me realize what good friends I have. I still carry around some of the random notes they wrote me during those weeks and when I’m feeling down, I pull them out for a little pick-me-up. I guess that they made me realize that you don’t necessarily need a significant other to stand by you, but just a group of good friends.
It sucks that we don’t always take the time to appreciate our friends. I hope my friends realize how much I appreciate them.. They stand by me and hopefully, they know that I will always stand by them.
How To Find the Guy or Girl of Your Dreams
There is no one true way to find the person of your dreams. No person, book, or secret will give you 100% success in this area of life, because let’s face it, love isn’t a science. Love is a living being in itself, and as we all know, living things can sometimes be rather unpredictable. So I can’t guarantee that by following my tips here you will find the mate of your life. If I could, I’d be rich, and you’d all be giving me your money. Since you aren’t, you’ll have to read these tips and hope that they aid in the success of your future romance.
Preface
First off, and this is going to be a huge shocker to most college students, stop thinking you are going to find the love of your life in a bar/club/(insert trashy drunken scene here). The fact is that if you find someone who could be the man/woman of your dreams here, they were probably the man/woman of someone else’s dreams last weekend. And there is a good chance they will be the man/woman of someone else’s dreams next weekend. Do yourself a favor and look in places where the person you meet will remember your name tomorrow.
Meet People for the sake of Meeting People
I’ve noticed it takes students a long time to realize that sometimes it’s ok to meet someone without having a preset agenda. You don’t have to be looking for a best friend/drinking buddy/man of your dreams… It’s ok to just meet, hang out, enjoy yourself without the weight of wondering what this is or where it’s going.
Also, try to spend more time with friends that aren’t friends with the rest of your friends. In doing this you will generally meet more new people, since you will meet their friends, which are not yet your friends. Many times we fall into the same routine, hang out with the same 3-6 people, and never meet anyone new. And then we complain about not meeting the right girl. It’s no wonder…
People who neglect this integral step often find that they continuously enter relationships, which they realize later, just aren’t working for them. And they do this over and over. If only they had enough experiences with enough different people to have a better understanding of what they wanted. All of those heartbreaks could have been avoided.
Compliment Everyone
Every person I’ve ever met enjoys a good compliment. We all know a good compliment when we get one; “Your hair looks fantastic” when you just got it done, “That shirt makes you look big” when you’ve been working out. A good compliment just feels good. And everyone remembers the guy/girl that makes them feel good. Always be that person and it can only lead to good things.
Be Brave
Though it may not be on everyone’s list of sexiest characteristics, it definitely is one of the most important ones. People find a person of confidence absolutely irresistible. A confident suitor is the equivalent of the strongest, fastest lion in the jungle. They never go hungry, and they get all of the lionesses. Be the lion.
Be Sexy
Do the little things that make you sexy. Perfume, lotion, proper grooming, nice clothing, a nice smile, and many more things will boost the SEX factor, which will lead to increased attention from the opposite sex. Be careful, though, too much sexiness and you’ll find yourself crowded with too many people wanting your sexiness. Use sexy wisely.
Know what makes you interesting
This question basically decides whether or not your relationship will last past the first date. For some people, looks may get you to date 2, but most of us want more. Answer that question, what makes you most interesting? If you don’t have a good answer, you don’t have what he/she wants, so you better get one.
Don’t try to take that away from them. It’s what they do. You wouldn’t put a lion on a vegetarian diet, would you? Let him be him and her be her.
Don’t Be Lazy
Laziness shows in every aspect of life, from gaining a few pounds to laundry on the floor. Nothing is more unattractive than a person who doesn’t have it together. You may not realize it now, but a relationship is much like laundry, if you don’t spend a few minutes routinely taking care of it, it will get worse and worse, and sooner or later it will be too late. Take care of yourself in every aspect of life.
Show you Care
If I asked your close friends how much you cared for them, would they have a serious answer? Would they know, or would they be assuming? Let people know how much you care about them and they will automatically care more about you. The easiest way to turn an acquaintance into a friend is by having them understand that their friendship is important to you. And if they know you value a relationship with them, a relationship with you becomes more valuable to them.
Don’t just Listen
Contrary to popular belief, being a good listener isn’t that great. People don’t enjoy friends that listen; they enjoy friends that listen, understand, respond, communicate, and share. It's called Active Listening, and believe me, it takes a lot more effort than just hearing them. Be interested in them.
Boys will be Boys; Girls will be Girls
This is something that I’m appalled some people still don’t get. On the whole, guys and girls are interested in different things. Sure, there are exceptions, and the extent of the difference varies with the individual. But next time you see people in single-sex groups in the cafeteria or somewhere, stop for a moment and listen. Chances are the guys will be talking about things external to their social group, such as the Big Game. The girls: well, much more likely to focus on each other and their various friends: clothes, hair, romantic encounters, and so on. Get it? Internal to the group.
Look: this is something you are not going to change. Get over it. Run with it. Rejoice in it.
Be Smart with Your Emotions
It sounds silly just typing that title. But you have to understand the power of emotions before you start using them. Think about a big powerful machine, like a car. You don’t just get behind the steering wheel and start going. You have to understand the power, skills required, and responsibilities associated with operating a car. Then and only then can you be considered safe to operate such a powerful machine. Emotions are the same way. If you haven’t learned to control and use your emotions beneficially, you aren’t yet fit for a relationship.
I’d bet many relationships fail not because the two people couldn’t last, or weren’t in love, but because they were not readily equipped to handle their emotions. And when you can’t handle your emotions they become terribly destructive.
Avoid Romantic Blinders/Have Real Expectations
This one is simple, and yet ignored more often than any other tip I have.. If you are a religious person, you probably won’t have a successful marriage with an Atheist. If you hate sex, you probably won’t get along well with a nymphomaniac. Why do we psych ourselves into believing that love can conquer all? It really can’t people. It just can’t. Make a list of characteristics that are important for your future husband/wife to have. Do not enter into a relationship with someone that does not match the characteristics that you think are necessary. You won’t be able to convince them later on, and you don’t have the right to make them change, so save both of you the heartache and just don’t.
Understand Compromise
If you haven’t been in a serious relationship before this will probably be new to you. So let me be blunt. Imagine the perfect Man/Woman of your dreams. Somehow we always imagine that he/she is exactly what we want, does what we want, says what we want. There is no conflict, no disagreement, no chaos of any kind, right?
Now take that cloud of imagination that is floating above your eager mind and smash it to bits. This is not a Disney movie. This is real life. And to be honest real life is 10 times better than any Disney movie, and also 100 times worse. If these are your expectations you will probably never be truly happy. But if you understand that you will have to sacrifice, compromise, and basically give up some of your expectations in order to please the other person, and that you’ve found someone just as willing to do the same for you, you will be happier than those princesses ever dreamed. Because you will have found someone that isn’t perfect, and probably isn’t even perfect for you. What you will have found is someone even better. Someone who is willing and wanting to work hard and make sacrifices to be that person for you, because they love you and want to be all that for you and more. When you find someone who works to be that person, you will have found a real life, honest to goodness, Princess/Prince Charming.
Quick Tips
* Always smile. People love happy people.
* Never be “too available.” People like people who have their own things going on.
* Be Yourself. People who are worth knowing can see through facades.
* Skip the games. I don’t think anyone really enjoys the games that people go through when trying to get into a relationship. Do yourself a favor, be the person who skips the games. He/She will greatly appreciate it.
* Keep High Standards. Don’t let him/her think you are willing to settle, or that you deserve less than you want. Keep your standards high. It’s better to be alone than to give yourself to someone who wont appreciate you.
* Show genuine interest. People love people interested in themselves.
* Always Improve Yourself. The bums will be scared off by your pro-activeness, and those working to improve themselves will find you irresistible.
* Surround yourself with great people. You will be judged by the company you keep. It may not be ideal, but it’s the truth.
* Go Where Mr/Ms Perfect will be. If you are looking for a well-read person, don’t look in bars and clubs. Instead check out book stores and book readings, etc…
So what do you do to find the Man or Woman of your dreams? What tips can you give others to help from making the same mistakes over and over again. Leave comments on the blog and let us know.
Preface
First off, and this is going to be a huge shocker to most college students, stop thinking you are going to find the love of your life in a bar/club/(insert trashy drunken scene here). The fact is that if you find someone who could be the man/woman of your dreams here, they were probably the man/woman of someone else’s dreams last weekend. And there is a good chance they will be the man/woman of someone else’s dreams next weekend. Do yourself a favor and look in places where the person you meet will remember your name tomorrow.
Meet People for the sake of Meeting People
I’ve noticed it takes students a long time to realize that sometimes it’s ok to meet someone without having a preset agenda. You don’t have to be looking for a best friend/drinking buddy/man of your dreams… It’s ok to just meet, hang out, enjoy yourself without the weight of wondering what this is or where it’s going.
Also, try to spend more time with friends that aren’t friends with the rest of your friends. In doing this you will generally meet more new people, since you will meet their friends, which are not yet your friends. Many times we fall into the same routine, hang out with the same 3-6 people, and never meet anyone new. And then we complain about not meeting the right girl. It’s no wonder…
People who neglect this integral step often find that they continuously enter relationships, which they realize later, just aren’t working for them. And they do this over and over. If only they had enough experiences with enough different people to have a better understanding of what they wanted. All of those heartbreaks could have been avoided.
Compliment Everyone
Every person I’ve ever met enjoys a good compliment. We all know a good compliment when we get one; “Your hair looks fantastic” when you just got it done, “That shirt makes you look big” when you’ve been working out. A good compliment just feels good. And everyone remembers the guy/girl that makes them feel good. Always be that person and it can only lead to good things.
Be Brave
Though it may not be on everyone’s list of sexiest characteristics, it definitely is one of the most important ones. People find a person of confidence absolutely irresistible. A confident suitor is the equivalent of the strongest, fastest lion in the jungle. They never go hungry, and they get all of the lionesses. Be the lion.
Be Sexy
Do the little things that make you sexy. Perfume, lotion, proper grooming, nice clothing, a nice smile, and many more things will boost the SEX factor, which will lead to increased attention from the opposite sex. Be careful, though, too much sexiness and you’ll find yourself crowded with too many people wanting your sexiness. Use sexy wisely.
Know what makes you interesting
This question basically decides whether or not your relationship will last past the first date. For some people, looks may get you to date 2, but most of us want more. Answer that question, what makes you most interesting? If you don’t have a good answer, you don’t have what he/she wants, so you better get one.
Don’t try to take that away from them. It’s what they do. You wouldn’t put a lion on a vegetarian diet, would you? Let him be him and her be her.
Don’t Be Lazy
Laziness shows in every aspect of life, from gaining a few pounds to laundry on the floor. Nothing is more unattractive than a person who doesn’t have it together. You may not realize it now, but a relationship is much like laundry, if you don’t spend a few minutes routinely taking care of it, it will get worse and worse, and sooner or later it will be too late. Take care of yourself in every aspect of life.
Show you Care
If I asked your close friends how much you cared for them, would they have a serious answer? Would they know, or would they be assuming? Let people know how much you care about them and they will automatically care more about you. The easiest way to turn an acquaintance into a friend is by having them understand that their friendship is important to you. And if they know you value a relationship with them, a relationship with you becomes more valuable to them.
Don’t just Listen
Contrary to popular belief, being a good listener isn’t that great. People don’t enjoy friends that listen; they enjoy friends that listen, understand, respond, communicate, and share. It's called Active Listening, and believe me, it takes a lot more effort than just hearing them. Be interested in them.
Boys will be Boys; Girls will be Girls
This is something that I’m appalled some people still don’t get. On the whole, guys and girls are interested in different things. Sure, there are exceptions, and the extent of the difference varies with the individual. But next time you see people in single-sex groups in the cafeteria or somewhere, stop for a moment and listen. Chances are the guys will be talking about things external to their social group, such as the Big Game. The girls: well, much more likely to focus on each other and their various friends: clothes, hair, romantic encounters, and so on. Get it? Internal to the group.
Look: this is something you are not going to change. Get over it. Run with it. Rejoice in it.
Be Smart with Your Emotions
It sounds silly just typing that title. But you have to understand the power of emotions before you start using them. Think about a big powerful machine, like a car. You don’t just get behind the steering wheel and start going. You have to understand the power, skills required, and responsibilities associated with operating a car. Then and only then can you be considered safe to operate such a powerful machine. Emotions are the same way. If you haven’t learned to control and use your emotions beneficially, you aren’t yet fit for a relationship.
I’d bet many relationships fail not because the two people couldn’t last, or weren’t in love, but because they were not readily equipped to handle their emotions. And when you can’t handle your emotions they become terribly destructive.
Avoid Romantic Blinders/Have Real Expectations
This one is simple, and yet ignored more often than any other tip I have.. If you are a religious person, you probably won’t have a successful marriage with an Atheist. If you hate sex, you probably won’t get along well with a nymphomaniac. Why do we psych ourselves into believing that love can conquer all? It really can’t people. It just can’t. Make a list of characteristics that are important for your future husband/wife to have. Do not enter into a relationship with someone that does not match the characteristics that you think are necessary. You won’t be able to convince them later on, and you don’t have the right to make them change, so save both of you the heartache and just don’t.
Understand Compromise
If you haven’t been in a serious relationship before this will probably be new to you. So let me be blunt. Imagine the perfect Man/Woman of your dreams. Somehow we always imagine that he/she is exactly what we want, does what we want, says what we want. There is no conflict, no disagreement, no chaos of any kind, right?
Now take that cloud of imagination that is floating above your eager mind and smash it to bits. This is not a Disney movie. This is real life. And to be honest real life is 10 times better than any Disney movie, and also 100 times worse. If these are your expectations you will probably never be truly happy. But if you understand that you will have to sacrifice, compromise, and basically give up some of your expectations in order to please the other person, and that you’ve found someone just as willing to do the same for you, you will be happier than those princesses ever dreamed. Because you will have found someone that isn’t perfect, and probably isn’t even perfect for you. What you will have found is someone even better. Someone who is willing and wanting to work hard and make sacrifices to be that person for you, because they love you and want to be all that for you and more. When you find someone who works to be that person, you will have found a real life, honest to goodness, Princess/Prince Charming.
Quick Tips
* Always smile. People love happy people.
* Never be “too available.” People like people who have their own things going on.
* Be Yourself. People who are worth knowing can see through facades.
* Skip the games. I don’t think anyone really enjoys the games that people go through when trying to get into a relationship. Do yourself a favor, be the person who skips the games. He/She will greatly appreciate it.
* Keep High Standards. Don’t let him/her think you are willing to settle, or that you deserve less than you want. Keep your standards high. It’s better to be alone than to give yourself to someone who wont appreciate you.
* Show genuine interest. People love people interested in themselves.
* Always Improve Yourself. The bums will be scared off by your pro-activeness, and those working to improve themselves will find you irresistible.
* Surround yourself with great people. You will be judged by the company you keep. It may not be ideal, but it’s the truth.
* Go Where Mr/Ms Perfect will be. If you are looking for a well-read person, don’t look in bars and clubs. Instead check out book stores and book readings, etc…
So what do you do to find the Man or Woman of your dreams? What tips can you give others to help from making the same mistakes over and over again. Leave comments on the blog and let us know.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Take Control of Your Personal Finances
In my completely unofficial and totally informal sociological study of my college friends and peers, I find the most concerning area of irresponsibility to be personal finance. I’m all for having a good time and spending some money to do so. My problem is when there’s more money going out than coming in. Also, I don’t want to hear about how you have no money and are screwed. Meantime you zip up your new $150 hoodie.
College is the best time to get a grip on your finances and set yourself up for future success.
Take that, You Irresponsible Spender!
Why is University such an awesome time to get a grip on your personal finances? In lieu of rambling on about all the reasons, I’ll just touch on the major ones. By the time I’m done, you’ll be thinking of reasons on your own.
1) We have more wiggle room for error than we would have in the real world. If we screw up in college, maybe we run up some credit card debt to cover ourselves (which I strongly recommend against); if we screw up in the real world, there's no money for the rent.
2) It’s easy to live like a cheap college student. My school shows fairly recent movies for free every weekend and this weekend I’m going bowling – complete with shuttle to and from, food and drink – for $5. I just picked up tickets to see my favourite basketball star play next week for $10. Your school has a bunch of groups that run cheap events; take advantage of them! Spend less money and you’ll have more to save and invest.
3) Your school wants to help you succeed financially! My school just wrapped up a 4 week financial literary series. Each week, different groups on campus made presentations. Some presentations were by faculty members, but others were by student groups. Look for a similar event on your campus. Because these presenters are usually from on campus, the series doesn’t have to end with the last lecture. If you find a particular topic confusing or interesting, get in touch with whoever talked about it. They’ll be more than happy to pass along more info or direct you to where you can learn more. If you can’t find one, email the appropriate professors and seek their advice.
4) Mom and Dad (or Grandma and Grandpa, etc) are usually there to fall back onto. I’m not advocating that you run for help with every set back and I’m not saying that someone will subsidize all your wild shenanigans; but in the case of a real, legitimate disaster, those who care about you will be there to help out.
I’m sure by now that you’re beginning to see why college is such an ideal time to begin conquering the skills required for effective personal finance. Now, you have an idea of the why.
College is the best time to get a grip on your finances and set yourself up for future success.
Take that, You Irresponsible Spender!
Why is University such an awesome time to get a grip on your personal finances? In lieu of rambling on about all the reasons, I’ll just touch on the major ones. By the time I’m done, you’ll be thinking of reasons on your own.
1) We have more wiggle room for error than we would have in the real world. If we screw up in college, maybe we run up some credit card debt to cover ourselves (which I strongly recommend against); if we screw up in the real world, there's no money for the rent.
2) It’s easy to live like a cheap college student. My school shows fairly recent movies for free every weekend and this weekend I’m going bowling – complete with shuttle to and from, food and drink – for $5. I just picked up tickets to see my favourite basketball star play next week for $10. Your school has a bunch of groups that run cheap events; take advantage of them! Spend less money and you’ll have more to save and invest.
3) Your school wants to help you succeed financially! My school just wrapped up a 4 week financial literary series. Each week, different groups on campus made presentations. Some presentations were by faculty members, but others were by student groups. Look for a similar event on your campus. Because these presenters are usually from on campus, the series doesn’t have to end with the last lecture. If you find a particular topic confusing or interesting, get in touch with whoever talked about it. They’ll be more than happy to pass along more info or direct you to where you can learn more. If you can’t find one, email the appropriate professors and seek their advice.
4) Mom and Dad (or Grandma and Grandpa, etc) are usually there to fall back onto. I’m not advocating that you run for help with every set back and I’m not saying that someone will subsidize all your wild shenanigans; but in the case of a real, legitimate disaster, those who care about you will be there to help out.
I’m sure by now that you’re beginning to see why college is such an ideal time to begin conquering the skills required for effective personal finance. Now, you have an idea of the why.
You Do have Free Time
You do so have free time! Unless you were that kid who signed up for 17 different clubs and became the president of each, you truly do have free time. I have a full and rigorous academic load, have a part time job, am a member of two clubs, and volunteer with other causes. I still have plenty of free time. I know others who are involved in way more activities than I am and still find the time for other things they find important.
"But I’m different! I really don’t have the time!" If that’s your response to this, sit down and take a good look at the time you're wasting. How much time did you spend hanging out with friends and roommates last week, with no discernible result either in terms of achievement or enjoyment? How about Facebook? I swear that that's the undoing of most of the people who'll end up dropping out. I can tell you the names right now, and it's only November.
When you sit down to do your work, probably in the evening, there's a barrier between you and actually getting to what needs to be done. Your brain has to jump out of relaxing mode, and into achievement mode. You look for things that'll give you just a few seconds more of pleasant drift. Your friends are nearby. Your roommate is right there. So is your computer, with Facebook just a click of the mouse away.
Know what it's all called? Displacement Activities. (I know about these matters; I've done almost a sixth of Psych 101.)
Guilty? Repent. Tomorrow is a new day, the first one of your new more-efficiently-conducted life. One technique I've used is to take thirty seconds before I leave for 5.30 pm supper to get rid of everything from the computer screen, replacing it with the documents I'll need for my homework: the Prof's instructions, the blank computer document. Then I get rid of all the accumulated crap on my desk, open the textbook at the appropriate place, and set it beside the keyboard. I tell all the people who might distract me that I'm going right to work when I get in, and that I don't want to be disturbed.
And if your analysis truly reveals that you're innocent of time wasting displacement activities, better look to your schedule. If you’re truly stretched so thin, maybe its time to scale back on a few activities. Really, what benefit are you to a club, or is a club to you, if you can only put in the bare minimum? Pick those that are important to you, excel in them, and regain some sanity.
This last is true only for a minority. For most, the problem is Displacement Activities, aka Procrastination. In your heart, you know that's your problem too. Fix it. You can. And you must.
"But I’m different! I really don’t have the time!" If that’s your response to this, sit down and take a good look at the time you're wasting. How much time did you spend hanging out with friends and roommates last week, with no discernible result either in terms of achievement or enjoyment? How about Facebook? I swear that that's the undoing of most of the people who'll end up dropping out. I can tell you the names right now, and it's only November.
When you sit down to do your work, probably in the evening, there's a barrier between you and actually getting to what needs to be done. Your brain has to jump out of relaxing mode, and into achievement mode. You look for things that'll give you just a few seconds more of pleasant drift. Your friends are nearby. Your roommate is right there. So is your computer, with Facebook just a click of the mouse away.
Know what it's all called? Displacement Activities. (I know about these matters; I've done almost a sixth of Psych 101.)
Guilty? Repent. Tomorrow is a new day, the first one of your new more-efficiently-conducted life. One technique I've used is to take thirty seconds before I leave for 5.30 pm supper to get rid of everything from the computer screen, replacing it with the documents I'll need for my homework: the Prof's instructions, the blank computer document. Then I get rid of all the accumulated crap on my desk, open the textbook at the appropriate place, and set it beside the keyboard. I tell all the people who might distract me that I'm going right to work when I get in, and that I don't want to be disturbed.
And if your analysis truly reveals that you're innocent of time wasting displacement activities, better look to your schedule. If you’re truly stretched so thin, maybe its time to scale back on a few activities. Really, what benefit are you to a club, or is a club to you, if you can only put in the bare minimum? Pick those that are important to you, excel in them, and regain some sanity.
This last is true only for a minority. For most, the problem is Displacement Activities, aka Procrastination. In your heart, you know that's your problem too. Fix it. You can. And you must.
What I Wish I'd Known as a Freshman
As most schools are now back in session for the fall semester, I find this to be the opportune time to share my list of things I wish I knew this time last year, when I first set foot on a college campus. So, without further ado:
1) Professors do Not Bite (at least most of them don’t)
This was one of the tougher things for me to get over. I’m an athletic and fairly big guy: 6 feet tall and just around 200 lbs. Nonetheless, my Biblical Literature professor – all 5’5” of him – intimidated the living daylights out of me, at least for the first few weeks. It wasn’t that he was a mean or condescending man; rather, it was his intelligence and complete mastery of the subject that I found so intimidating. Finally, however, I worked up the courage to meet with him during office hours to discuss my term paper, and was blown away by how friendly and helpful he was. I even found myself nonchalantly making a few biblical jokes! Another of my professors willingly stayed late into the evening on several occasions to help me understand the subject material. As a straight A student my whole academic career, I’ve never been as proud as when I aced that final to earn a B for the course.
Lesson learned: most of your Profs want to share their knowledge with you. They were once undergrads just like you and me.
2) You do Not have to do all the Readings
Most of your professors will make it clear during that first class meeting that their class is the most important class you’ll ever take and that’ll you need to closely study each and every word of each and every reading in order to pass. It very well may be that that class turns out to be the most important one of your life, but your professor could be exaggerating a bit when it comes to the reading. I'm not suggesting that your prof is deliberately misleading you. Nor am I suggesting that you slack off and not even bother to open the textbook. What I am saying is that after the first couple of weeks of class you’ll get a feel for which of the readings you’ll need to do in order to do well in the class. Oftentimes, the syllabus has both primary and supplemental readings. Find out which sources provide the meat and potatoes and get to know those ones well. As for the others, skim them if you’re interested in the topic, but you should be able to get by without knowing them inside and out. Talk to your professor, the other students in the course, and people who've done the course before. Find out what you'll need to know for the exam and save yourself the time and effort of doing the work that turns out to be of marginal interest or use.
3) The Goal of each Class is Not to get an A
Yes, I said it: the goal of college isn’t to come out with a squeaky clean 4.0. Yes, grades are important but no potential employer wants to see a student who spent their past 4 years cooped up in the library to get a 4.0 and ignored all the opportunities afforded them to gain real world skills that translate over into the real world. Note: This isn’t just me trying to justify my not having a 4.0, but rather what I’ve learned from talking to recruiters who come and visit my campus to look for prospective interns and employees.
What is the goal then? In a word: learning. As I previously mentioned, the grade I’m most proud of is the “B” I received in Managerial Accounting. I struggled mightily with a few early quizzes and found myself needing to ace the final in order to pull off a decent grade. I spent many hours meeting with the professor to go over concepts I didn’t understand and address questions that I had. In the end, I aced the final and earned a “B” for the semester. Obviously I didn’t get an “A”, but does that mean that I didn’t know the material? Not so. I wound up learning the material well enough to ace the final and, more importantly, I learned a lot more about myself and what I could achieve when I put in the work. I know that I'll recount this experience to interviewers in the future, and that they'll be impressed too.
4) Just because Everyone Else is doing it does Not mean You have to
This applies to so many aspects of college. For one, just because everyone else seems to be on one schedule doesn’t mean you have to follow the same one. I noticed a trend of a lot of people lounging around between classes during the day and then spending many late hours in the library studying and doing homework. I, on the other hand, preferred to get up early and do my work in the morning before class, in between classes, and in the afternoon before dinner. That way, I’d minimize the time I had to spend on schoolwork after dinner and could instead spend my time reading or playing sports or working on an extracurricular project that interested me. Also, instead of passing out each night from brain overload, I could have the time I needed to relax and get to bed at a decent hour.
In another regard, just because everyone else seems to be out partying all weekend, that doesn’t mean that you have to. In reality, not everyone is doing it. I limit my nights out to a few times a month at most. The first few weeks of school, it was fun experiencing the freedom of staying out into the early hours of the morning with friends but it got to the point where I suffered from the after effects. Staying out later meant that I’d sleep away most of the next day and, when I did wake up, I’d feel sluggish due to being thrown off my sleep schedule. My campus hosts many activities on the weekends that I can go to with my friends, have a good time, and still be able to turn in at a decent hour.
These are my big four things. Look back over the headings. Note that each of the four has the word "Not" in it. I wish I'd known those Nots last September.
1) Professors do Not Bite (at least most of them don’t)
This was one of the tougher things for me to get over. I’m an athletic and fairly big guy: 6 feet tall and just around 200 lbs. Nonetheless, my Biblical Literature professor – all 5’5” of him – intimidated the living daylights out of me, at least for the first few weeks. It wasn’t that he was a mean or condescending man; rather, it was his intelligence and complete mastery of the subject that I found so intimidating. Finally, however, I worked up the courage to meet with him during office hours to discuss my term paper, and was blown away by how friendly and helpful he was. I even found myself nonchalantly making a few biblical jokes! Another of my professors willingly stayed late into the evening on several occasions to help me understand the subject material. As a straight A student my whole academic career, I’ve never been as proud as when I aced that final to earn a B for the course.
Lesson learned: most of your Profs want to share their knowledge with you. They were once undergrads just like you and me.
2) You do Not have to do all the Readings
Most of your professors will make it clear during that first class meeting that their class is the most important class you’ll ever take and that’ll you need to closely study each and every word of each and every reading in order to pass. It very well may be that that class turns out to be the most important one of your life, but your professor could be exaggerating a bit when it comes to the reading. I'm not suggesting that your prof is deliberately misleading you. Nor am I suggesting that you slack off and not even bother to open the textbook. What I am saying is that after the first couple of weeks of class you’ll get a feel for which of the readings you’ll need to do in order to do well in the class. Oftentimes, the syllabus has both primary and supplemental readings. Find out which sources provide the meat and potatoes and get to know those ones well. As for the others, skim them if you’re interested in the topic, but you should be able to get by without knowing them inside and out. Talk to your professor, the other students in the course, and people who've done the course before. Find out what you'll need to know for the exam and save yourself the time and effort of doing the work that turns out to be of marginal interest or use.
3) The Goal of each Class is Not to get an A
Yes, I said it: the goal of college isn’t to come out with a squeaky clean 4.0. Yes, grades are important but no potential employer wants to see a student who spent their past 4 years cooped up in the library to get a 4.0 and ignored all the opportunities afforded them to gain real world skills that translate over into the real world. Note: This isn’t just me trying to justify my not having a 4.0, but rather what I’ve learned from talking to recruiters who come and visit my campus to look for prospective interns and employees.
What is the goal then? In a word: learning. As I previously mentioned, the grade I’m most proud of is the “B” I received in Managerial Accounting. I struggled mightily with a few early quizzes and found myself needing to ace the final in order to pull off a decent grade. I spent many hours meeting with the professor to go over concepts I didn’t understand and address questions that I had. In the end, I aced the final and earned a “B” for the semester. Obviously I didn’t get an “A”, but does that mean that I didn’t know the material? Not so. I wound up learning the material well enough to ace the final and, more importantly, I learned a lot more about myself and what I could achieve when I put in the work. I know that I'll recount this experience to interviewers in the future, and that they'll be impressed too.
4) Just because Everyone Else is doing it does Not mean You have to
This applies to so many aspects of college. For one, just because everyone else seems to be on one schedule doesn’t mean you have to follow the same one. I noticed a trend of a lot of people lounging around between classes during the day and then spending many late hours in the library studying and doing homework. I, on the other hand, preferred to get up early and do my work in the morning before class, in between classes, and in the afternoon before dinner. That way, I’d minimize the time I had to spend on schoolwork after dinner and could instead spend my time reading or playing sports or working on an extracurricular project that interested me. Also, instead of passing out each night from brain overload, I could have the time I needed to relax and get to bed at a decent hour.
In another regard, just because everyone else seems to be out partying all weekend, that doesn’t mean that you have to. In reality, not everyone is doing it. I limit my nights out to a few times a month at most. The first few weeks of school, it was fun experiencing the freedom of staying out into the early hours of the morning with friends but it got to the point where I suffered from the after effects. Staying out later meant that I’d sleep away most of the next day and, when I did wake up, I’d feel sluggish due to being thrown off my sleep schedule. My campus hosts many activities on the weekends that I can go to with my friends, have a good time, and still be able to turn in at a decent hour.
These are my big four things. Look back over the headings. Note that each of the four has the word "Not" in it. I wish I'd known those Nots last September.
Relationships with Old but now Faraway Friends
It was the end of August, and I was about to embark on what many people have claimed to be the best time of their lives. Even though so many before me have enjoyed their experiences, I was slightly worried about what my college life would entail. Would I survive the coursework? Would I get along with my roommate? Most importantly, would I stay in contact with my friends from home? So it seemed at the end of August. And actually, although it's impossible to ascribe relative degrees of importance to various disparate aspects of peoples' lives, contact with old friends a continent or further away does come close to the top on the importance scale.
As I went through high school I developed a group of friends who were like family to me. Whether we were sunbathing on the beach or roaming the streets of a nearby but unfamiliar city on our senior trip, we were rarely seen apart from each other. When college decisions came out at the end of March, it appeared as if the distances dividing our new schools would blow us apart. In August, we would be heading anywhere from Paris, France, to Los Angeles, USA. I was worried that this new distance would come between us in our previously inseparable friendships.
To my surprise, these distances have reinforced our companionship, while giving us the opportunity to grow as individuals. We have had so many diverse adventures. Each of these experiences has developed us into more unique individuals, bringing new diversity to the friend group as a whole. We have all gained new stories, which we share around the bonfire over holidays.
To be honest, this transition is not easy. It really is a totally new environment and we are all pushed out of our comfort zone. But with social networking and video chat at our fingertips there is always an outlet to connect with a high school friend. Ours is the most technologically advanced college generation and we can use that to our advantage. Anytime you are lonely or are having difficulty adjusting to the new environment, a high school buddy is simply a click away.
Even though many, including myself, utilize these sites daily, we have to avoid dependence on the comforting crutch of old friends. It is an easy trap to fall into, considering that in the initial meet and greet phases of college we all meet more people than anyone can possibly remember. We are not going to develop new best friends immediately, but the fact is that nobody should. Here's what I found, and I'm certain enough of it now to write it in the form of advice.
Think about the number of months and years that it took for your relationships in high school to get to the point they are at now. Giving these new connections time is what creates the bonds that allowed the college-goers before you to have the best time of their lives. Just remember to keep an open mind as you enter this next chapter. If you do, you will be able to develop new ties and extend your old relationships into the future. This will allow you to create a larger and stronger social network, which will provide you with lifelong friendships and memories. And look at things this way too: not everyone in your new circle of friends knows each other.
You are the one who gets to do the intros, and you are the one who knows everyone well enough to know who will click with whom. Hey, some could even get married to each other! Well careful: maybe we could be running into dangerous ground here. One at a time we hope.
As I went through high school I developed a group of friends who were like family to me. Whether we were sunbathing on the beach or roaming the streets of a nearby but unfamiliar city on our senior trip, we were rarely seen apart from each other. When college decisions came out at the end of March, it appeared as if the distances dividing our new schools would blow us apart. In August, we would be heading anywhere from Paris, France, to Los Angeles, USA. I was worried that this new distance would come between us in our previously inseparable friendships.
To my surprise, these distances have reinforced our companionship, while giving us the opportunity to grow as individuals. We have had so many diverse adventures. Each of these experiences has developed us into more unique individuals, bringing new diversity to the friend group as a whole. We have all gained new stories, which we share around the bonfire over holidays.
To be honest, this transition is not easy. It really is a totally new environment and we are all pushed out of our comfort zone. But with social networking and video chat at our fingertips there is always an outlet to connect with a high school friend. Ours is the most technologically advanced college generation and we can use that to our advantage. Anytime you are lonely or are having difficulty adjusting to the new environment, a high school buddy is simply a click away.
Even though many, including myself, utilize these sites daily, we have to avoid dependence on the comforting crutch of old friends. It is an easy trap to fall into, considering that in the initial meet and greet phases of college we all meet more people than anyone can possibly remember. We are not going to develop new best friends immediately, but the fact is that nobody should. Here's what I found, and I'm certain enough of it now to write it in the form of advice.
Think about the number of months and years that it took for your relationships in high school to get to the point they are at now. Giving these new connections time is what creates the bonds that allowed the college-goers before you to have the best time of their lives. Just remember to keep an open mind as you enter this next chapter. If you do, you will be able to develop new ties and extend your old relationships into the future. This will allow you to create a larger and stronger social network, which will provide you with lifelong friendships and memories. And look at things this way too: not everyone in your new circle of friends knows each other.
You are the one who gets to do the intros, and you are the one who knows everyone well enough to know who will click with whom. Hey, some could even get married to each other! Well careful: maybe we could be running into dangerous ground here. One at a time we hope.
Reflections of a Co-op Student
As I'm getting ready for the Thanksgiving break, I thought it would be a good time to sit back, think and reflect upon the past few weeks that I have spent at this University. After collecting my thoughts, I could think of a zillion new things I have learned or experienced. For your sake, I’ve tried to shrink this down to just three.
Before I begin, I should explain that I'm in a co-op program. We spend our first semester on campus, doing a full load of regular courses just like everyone else here. But our second semester is spent out in the field, working as an intern in a business or other kind of enterprise. Recruiters from these places look at our resumes, come to our campus, and conduct interviews. A complicated matching scheme tries to ensure that all the recruiters get the kind of students they want, and that all the students get suitable placements.
As you can imagine, there's a lot of dancing about, and a lot of informal wisdom that goes into the matching. "This placement looks good, but you'll end up spending all day in a tiny office with a constant stream of boring clerical and data-entry work." Like kind of important to know before you apply. Sometimes there’s dishonesty when students or recruiters play games to try to make sure the matching is to their benefit. For example, they tell you they are ranking you first (which they are not supposed to divulge), so you rank them first to ensure a match; but then they interview someone else, change how they rank you, and now you get your last choice. It happened to me and I was very upset. In the future, I will rank according to my gut and not change my ranking despite what a recruiter may unofficially tell me.
Anyway, here are the three things.
First, the strong bonds I have already developed with so many of my classmates. The community-based culture here is really special. People want others to succeed. This can be clearly seen through small gestures like a fellow classmate introducing you to a co-op recruiter during a recruiting event, or spending time (a very rare commodity) to help your study group or classmates understand a difficult concept. This community-based culture is also clearly reflected in closeness of the faculty with the student body. I could have never imagined the easy accessibility of such a high-profile faculty before I actually experienced it.
The second most important aspect of this University to me has been the tremendous support and guidance we receive from our second year class. The second years have been so generous with their time, just to help us with so many different things. Whether it is guidance on co-op positions, conducting mock interviews, doing resume reviews, or sharing their co-op experiences – you can ask them anything and I guarantee you will not be disappointed. In fact, in so many cases, I have seen our second years proactively helping us out in order to see us do well. I am totally humbled to see this level of support and look forward to continuing this tradition next year.
Third and lastly, I would do a disservice if I do not mention the great learning experience. I am not just talking about the academic learning – that is undoubtedly top-notch. The other aspects of learning range from networking to leadership to drinking skills. (Yes, having a social every Thursday does give you ample opportunities to have fun, if you can manage your time well.)
These past few weeks have been a roller coaster ride. Sure, there have been some tough moments, tough days or even tough weeks. But after coming back every day from school, I do experience the sense of achievement of having learned something new, and something which will help me in future.
Before I begin, I should explain that I'm in a co-op program. We spend our first semester on campus, doing a full load of regular courses just like everyone else here. But our second semester is spent out in the field, working as an intern in a business or other kind of enterprise. Recruiters from these places look at our resumes, come to our campus, and conduct interviews. A complicated matching scheme tries to ensure that all the recruiters get the kind of students they want, and that all the students get suitable placements.
As you can imagine, there's a lot of dancing about, and a lot of informal wisdom that goes into the matching. "This placement looks good, but you'll end up spending all day in a tiny office with a constant stream of boring clerical and data-entry work." Like kind of important to know before you apply. Sometimes there’s dishonesty when students or recruiters play games to try to make sure the matching is to their benefit. For example, they tell you they are ranking you first (which they are not supposed to divulge), so you rank them first to ensure a match; but then they interview someone else, change how they rank you, and now you get your last choice. It happened to me and I was very upset. In the future, I will rank according to my gut and not change my ranking despite what a recruiter may unofficially tell me.
Anyway, here are the three things.
First, the strong bonds I have already developed with so many of my classmates. The community-based culture here is really special. People want others to succeed. This can be clearly seen through small gestures like a fellow classmate introducing you to a co-op recruiter during a recruiting event, or spending time (a very rare commodity) to help your study group or classmates understand a difficult concept. This community-based culture is also clearly reflected in closeness of the faculty with the student body. I could have never imagined the easy accessibility of such a high-profile faculty before I actually experienced it.
The second most important aspect of this University to me has been the tremendous support and guidance we receive from our second year class. The second years have been so generous with their time, just to help us with so many different things. Whether it is guidance on co-op positions, conducting mock interviews, doing resume reviews, or sharing their co-op experiences – you can ask them anything and I guarantee you will not be disappointed. In fact, in so many cases, I have seen our second years proactively helping us out in order to see us do well. I am totally humbled to see this level of support and look forward to continuing this tradition next year.
Third and lastly, I would do a disservice if I do not mention the great learning experience. I am not just talking about the academic learning – that is undoubtedly top-notch. The other aspects of learning range from networking to leadership to drinking skills. (Yes, having a social every Thursday does give you ample opportunities to have fun, if you can manage your time well.)
These past few weeks have been a roller coaster ride. Sure, there have been some tough moments, tough days or even tough weeks. But after coming back every day from school, I do experience the sense of achievement of having learned something new, and something which will help me in future.
One More Week of Insanity!!
It seems like I have had like 20 hours of sleep in the last week!!!
On Friday, I went out to the graffiti pub crawl hosted by the University Marketing Association, and it was pretty sweet. To be honest it was my first pub crawl and I am not a crazy fan because it seems like you just get into your dancing groove, have that nice little dance circle carved out on the floor and then the DJ tells everyone it is time to get back on the bus! This pub crawl was somewhat unusual though, because you got a white suit and a marker, so it made for a good time.
So, I got home around 2ish that night and then the next morning bright and early, me and a couple of first years drove out to the Business Students' Frosh Retreat. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this event, essentially 2nd and 3rd years show you why the School of Business is so amazing and give you insider tips on how to succeed; whether it be in dressing, networking or case competitions, they cover everything. Of course you also get to meet lots of really cool people and usually a good 5 of them will become really close friends. So I spent all day at that event and drove back this morning just to sleep until 3pm!! And now what am I doing?? Procrastinating because I have to hammer out my cover letters and resumes in time for Monday’s deadline co op/articling positions.
Relief!! I will likely have my job all lined up and secured within a month!!!
So with that I will conclude with my Tip for the Term:
Go to every event you possibly can!!
I know this sounds silly, but I'm serious. For example, frosh retreat; the opportunity to be stuck with hundreds of people for two days is invaluable because undoubtedly you will find a few who you will become friends with by sheer statistics! Always think about all the opportunities that you can pursue if you were to only go and check out an info session, or a charity fundraiser or a golf tournament. All of these events have one major purpose: Networking. And that is what Business is all about.
Alright well that's all I've got for now time to clean my house - because it’s funner (I know this isn’t a word) than studying or working on my resume.
On Friday, I went out to the graffiti pub crawl hosted by the University Marketing Association, and it was pretty sweet. To be honest it was my first pub crawl and I am not a crazy fan because it seems like you just get into your dancing groove, have that nice little dance circle carved out on the floor and then the DJ tells everyone it is time to get back on the bus! This pub crawl was somewhat unusual though, because you got a white suit and a marker, so it made for a good time.
So, I got home around 2ish that night and then the next morning bright and early, me and a couple of first years drove out to the Business Students' Frosh Retreat. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this event, essentially 2nd and 3rd years show you why the School of Business is so amazing and give you insider tips on how to succeed; whether it be in dressing, networking or case competitions, they cover everything. Of course you also get to meet lots of really cool people and usually a good 5 of them will become really close friends. So I spent all day at that event and drove back this morning just to sleep until 3pm!! And now what am I doing?? Procrastinating because I have to hammer out my cover letters and resumes in time for Monday’s deadline co op/articling positions.
Relief!! I will likely have my job all lined up and secured within a month!!!
So with that I will conclude with my Tip for the Term:
Go to every event you possibly can!!
I know this sounds silly, but I'm serious. For example, frosh retreat; the opportunity to be stuck with hundreds of people for two days is invaluable because undoubtedly you will find a few who you will become friends with by sheer statistics! Always think about all the opportunities that you can pursue if you were to only go and check out an info session, or a charity fundraiser or a golf tournament. All of these events have one major purpose: Networking. And that is what Business is all about.
Alright well that's all I've got for now time to clean my house - because it’s funner (I know this isn’t a word) than studying or working on my resume.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Food for Thought (1)
When I came here in September, I had lots of big decisions to make: what courses to take, how many hours a day to spend on Facebook, which shoes and sweaters to take with me. Things like that. One of the hardest, though, was whether to sign up for the Meal Plan. I live a long way off, but I'd visited my friend's brother at the University a couple of times last year. If I hadn't had that chance, the decision would have been somewhat random, because there would have been lots of things I wouldn't have known, but that ended up helping me a lot. No information = bad decision.
In First Year, we had to live in Res -- I chose to live in a townhouse. There are four rooms for eight people, all sharing a bathroom and a kitchen table suitable for four. I had to decide whether to sign up for a full meal plan, a Monday-Friday meal plan, a Declining-Balance meal plan, or no meal plan at all. (Declining Balance is a plan where you buy a card with several hundred dollars loaded on it, and then your balance goes down as you charge your food.) We're talking about several thousand dollars here, so I had to tackle the job in an organized way; I began by making a list of pros and cons for having a meal plan at all.
Pros:
* The cafeteria is closer to most of my classes than where I live, and my timetable could make it impossible for me to get home, make food, eat it, and get back in time for my next class.
* The cafeteria is new, huge, well-lit, and extremely pleasant. It has enormous plasma TVs in three corners that were mostly tuned to sports channels when I was there.
* There's a great variety of food. If you get tired of pizza, you can have salad, pasta, TexMex, sandwiches, soup: you name it. Some of the stations are fast-food, but at others, you order what you want and wait a minute or two for it to be put on your plate. That's for things like pork loin with vegetables and baked potato -- not exactly what you'd get at a fast food place, and not exactly what you'd cook for yourself either. And if there's anything you want that's not there, you write it on a whiteboard and they'll probably get it for you. I've talked to people about whether it works; apparently most of the time it does. But then if there are things they get that not many people choose, they'll cut them out.
* The food is fresh and tasty.
* The cafeteria is constantly being tidied up and cleaned. With eight of us sharing a kitchen, it could end up being a rather awful place to cook and eat.
* I have always liked cooking, but I don't like doing it just for myself, especially when I'm in a hurry. Since I'm usually in a hurry and my housemates all have different timetables, the enjoyment is just not there for me.
* Eating in my own place, I'll have to share a refrigerator with seven other people, and I've heard about fights between people when someone leaves it too full of their own stuff, leaves food until it gets fungus all over it, or steals someone else's food.
* If I have to cook in my own place, I think I'd buy a lot of convenience foods because that's what's easiest. I don't like them much, and not many of them are nutritionally good.
* In the cafeteria, I wouldn't be stuck with eating mostly by myself or with just a few others. I'd be able to eat with lots of other people, ones I'd just come from class with, for example. So it would be a good way of meeting more people.
* In the cafeteria, you can eat what you feel like at the time, and have as much as you want.
* The campus is quite far from the nearest decent grocery store. I'd need to take the bus once a week, and it would take well over an hour altogether. And that's if I could resist going into some other stores that are near the grocery store. It would be easy to waste a whole afternoon or evening every week.
Cons:
* In the cafeteria, you can eat what you feel like at the time, and have as much as you want: It would be hard for me to resist fries, burgers, desserts, and when I'm hungry, just plain too much of everything.
* I've heard lots of people say they gained a lot of weight as soon as they went to University. The phenomenon even has a name: "Freshman 15".
* The cafeteria is expensive, especially if you don't have a seven-day or five-day plan. And on one of those, you pay for three full meals every day. Shopping at the grocery store, I think I could save about half the money -- well into four figures over the year.
* The Declining Balance card could end up costing quite a bit more for the same food. You can't calculate a percentage, because it depends on what you choose; the more you eat, the cheaper the food is on the 5-day or 7-day plan. There's no way to go on to the 5-day or 7-day plan and have the food you've already paid for credited to you; you have to make the decision before the year begins.
Conclusion:
* I'd enjoy the cafeteria, and I don't want to eat on my own very often, or in a kitchen that gets really sleazy. But I don't want to gain a lot of weight. When I'm hungry, I don't have enough willpower to avoid loading up on fries and desserts unless I have to pay more for them. And I know that if I go into the cafeteria for breakfast every day, I'll have bacon, eggs, sausage, pancakes ... the quickest way of all to pack on the pounds.
* I'm better off with a Declining Balance card. The downside is that I'll pay more -- especially as I intend to eat at least one salad every day; they weigh the salad, and it's one of the most expensive items. But for breakfast, I'll have yogurt and a coffee from my own machine.
Not the best value, but the best choice for me.
In First Year, we had to live in Res -- I chose to live in a townhouse. There are four rooms for eight people, all sharing a bathroom and a kitchen table suitable for four. I had to decide whether to sign up for a full meal plan, a Monday-Friday meal plan, a Declining-Balance meal plan, or no meal plan at all. (Declining Balance is a plan where you buy a card with several hundred dollars loaded on it, and then your balance goes down as you charge your food.) We're talking about several thousand dollars here, so I had to tackle the job in an organized way; I began by making a list of pros and cons for having a meal plan at all.
Pros:
* The cafeteria is closer to most of my classes than where I live, and my timetable could make it impossible for me to get home, make food, eat it, and get back in time for my next class.
* The cafeteria is new, huge, well-lit, and extremely pleasant. It has enormous plasma TVs in three corners that were mostly tuned to sports channels when I was there.
* There's a great variety of food. If you get tired of pizza, you can have salad, pasta, TexMex, sandwiches, soup: you name it. Some of the stations are fast-food, but at others, you order what you want and wait a minute or two for it to be put on your plate. That's for things like pork loin with vegetables and baked potato -- not exactly what you'd get at a fast food place, and not exactly what you'd cook for yourself either. And if there's anything you want that's not there, you write it on a whiteboard and they'll probably get it for you. I've talked to people about whether it works; apparently most of the time it does. But then if there are things they get that not many people choose, they'll cut them out.
* The food is fresh and tasty.
* The cafeteria is constantly being tidied up and cleaned. With eight of us sharing a kitchen, it could end up being a rather awful place to cook and eat.
* I have always liked cooking, but I don't like doing it just for myself, especially when I'm in a hurry. Since I'm usually in a hurry and my housemates all have different timetables, the enjoyment is just not there for me.
* Eating in my own place, I'll have to share a refrigerator with seven other people, and I've heard about fights between people when someone leaves it too full of their own stuff, leaves food until it gets fungus all over it, or steals someone else's food.
* If I have to cook in my own place, I think I'd buy a lot of convenience foods because that's what's easiest. I don't like them much, and not many of them are nutritionally good.
* In the cafeteria, I wouldn't be stuck with eating mostly by myself or with just a few others. I'd be able to eat with lots of other people, ones I'd just come from class with, for example. So it would be a good way of meeting more people.
* In the cafeteria, you can eat what you feel like at the time, and have as much as you want.
* The campus is quite far from the nearest decent grocery store. I'd need to take the bus once a week, and it would take well over an hour altogether. And that's if I could resist going into some other stores that are near the grocery store. It would be easy to waste a whole afternoon or evening every week.
Cons:
* In the cafeteria, you can eat what you feel like at the time, and have as much as you want: It would be hard for me to resist fries, burgers, desserts, and when I'm hungry, just plain too much of everything.
* I've heard lots of people say they gained a lot of weight as soon as they went to University. The phenomenon even has a name: "Freshman 15".
* The cafeteria is expensive, especially if you don't have a seven-day or five-day plan. And on one of those, you pay for three full meals every day. Shopping at the grocery store, I think I could save about half the money -- well into four figures over the year.
* The Declining Balance card could end up costing quite a bit more for the same food. You can't calculate a percentage, because it depends on what you choose; the more you eat, the cheaper the food is on the 5-day or 7-day plan. There's no way to go on to the 5-day or 7-day plan and have the food you've already paid for credited to you; you have to make the decision before the year begins.
Conclusion:
* I'd enjoy the cafeteria, and I don't want to eat on my own very often, or in a kitchen that gets really sleazy. But I don't want to gain a lot of weight. When I'm hungry, I don't have enough willpower to avoid loading up on fries and desserts unless I have to pay more for them. And I know that if I go into the cafeteria for breakfast every day, I'll have bacon, eggs, sausage, pancakes ... the quickest way of all to pack on the pounds.
* I'm better off with a Declining Balance card. The downside is that I'll pay more -- especially as I intend to eat at least one salad every day; they weigh the salad, and it's one of the most expensive items. But for breakfast, I'll have yogurt and a coffee from my own machine.
Not the best value, but the best choice for me.
Food for Thought (2)
In high school, many of you had the opportunity to eat at your cafeteria during lunch. For some, your cafeteria may have had a fairly robust menu, while others may have had to deal with the "mom and pop" type setup where the dish of the day is all you can get, and sometimes those pieces of lettuce on your sub aren’t looking so appetizing.
When you get to university, the food becomes a fairly large part of your on-campus experience, and for those of you living in residence, something you need to depend on. Most universities have a full-service cafeteria, a place where you can usually choose from a variety of foods, or food stations, every day, where the food is usually freshly prepared (prepared being the key word here) and the options may almost seem endless.
Sounds good, right? Enter the dreaded "Freshman 15". For those who haven't heard, it's said to be the average number of pounds gained by a first-year university student.
For many of you, the prospect of picking up a tray and going around from station to station within your cafeteria, and collecting a little bit of all the food you like, sounds pretty tantalizing - and trust me, it is. However, having self control when it comes to the university dining hall is also something that you will need to work on, because even though that double-bacon cheeseburger and fries doesn’t feel like it was enough right away, it was. Meaning that the two or three brownies you had for dessert afterwards to fill up what space you thought you had left, probably wasn’t the greatest idea. But I digress..
Generally, the food at your dining hall will be good. Some days, it will be fantastic (usually a day when lasagna or chicken of some sort is served), and you’ll know it by the wait lines and the buzz around campus. Other days, it will be time to go downtown to your favorite pub or restaurant because you just aren’t into what’s being served that day. Every dining hall on every campus has its good and bad days, and this is just a matter of fact - and it’s something that you’ll learn to deal with.
When you first look at meal plans, you’ll be presented with many options. My advice to you on this is not to cheap out. Get a middle to high end dining plan that will either give you unlimited meals, 7 days per week, or one of the bigger declining balance options. If the school you’re looking at works on a meals-per-day model, buy the one that will allow you to eat at least 3 times per day - you’ll thank me for this later.
Before visiting the dining hall, be sure to visit the food service provider website to check out the menu for that day. Look at the nutritional value of the food being served, and pay attention to it. Use your common sense to think about what you’re going to eat. If you spend all year at the grilled cheese and poutine station, you’ll be as big as a house by the end of your first year. If you balance your choices properly, you’ll evade the "Freshman 15" and still be able to enjoy the benefits of your dining hall.
Never be afraid to compliment or lodge a complaint about the cafeteria food either. If you went to the dining hall with specific expectations and they were or weren’t met, let the staff know. This helps them to prepare meals in the future, and your peers will thank you for voicing your opinions!
Finally, before you begin eating at a university cafeteria, learn how to pace yourself while eating dinners at home. If you’re someone who competes to see who is the quickest to swallow down a meal at the dinner table, that’s something you’ll need to stop. As I mentioned before, the food is usually prepared fresh, but that doesn’t mean it was prepared from scratch in your cafeteria. Often, ingredients are shipped in from afar, and preservatives are used to maintain the taste and freshness of the food you’re eating. Swallowing down more than you can actually handle can lead to some rather uncomfortable stomach pains minutes after leaving your cafeteria. We’ve all had our share of them and we don’t want you to experience it - it’s awful, really.
Your new-found dining room will become a place where you will not only eat, but study, and hang out with your friends. Learn to enjoy it for what it is, make the most of it, and make smart choices. Your body will thank you for it, and so will your wallet.
When you get to university, the food becomes a fairly large part of your on-campus experience, and for those of you living in residence, something you need to depend on. Most universities have a full-service cafeteria, a place where you can usually choose from a variety of foods, or food stations, every day, where the food is usually freshly prepared (prepared being the key word here) and the options may almost seem endless.
Sounds good, right? Enter the dreaded "Freshman 15". For those who haven't heard, it's said to be the average number of pounds gained by a first-year university student.
For many of you, the prospect of picking up a tray and going around from station to station within your cafeteria, and collecting a little bit of all the food you like, sounds pretty tantalizing - and trust me, it is. However, having self control when it comes to the university dining hall is also something that you will need to work on, because even though that double-bacon cheeseburger and fries doesn’t feel like it was enough right away, it was. Meaning that the two or three brownies you had for dessert afterwards to fill up what space you thought you had left, probably wasn’t the greatest idea. But I digress..
Generally, the food at your dining hall will be good. Some days, it will be fantastic (usually a day when lasagna or chicken of some sort is served), and you’ll know it by the wait lines and the buzz around campus. Other days, it will be time to go downtown to your favorite pub or restaurant because you just aren’t into what’s being served that day. Every dining hall on every campus has its good and bad days, and this is just a matter of fact - and it’s something that you’ll learn to deal with.
When you first look at meal plans, you’ll be presented with many options. My advice to you on this is not to cheap out. Get a middle to high end dining plan that will either give you unlimited meals, 7 days per week, or one of the bigger declining balance options. If the school you’re looking at works on a meals-per-day model, buy the one that will allow you to eat at least 3 times per day - you’ll thank me for this later.
Before visiting the dining hall, be sure to visit the food service provider website to check out the menu for that day. Look at the nutritional value of the food being served, and pay attention to it. Use your common sense to think about what you’re going to eat. If you spend all year at the grilled cheese and poutine station, you’ll be as big as a house by the end of your first year. If you balance your choices properly, you’ll evade the "Freshman 15" and still be able to enjoy the benefits of your dining hall.
Never be afraid to compliment or lodge a complaint about the cafeteria food either. If you went to the dining hall with specific expectations and they were or weren’t met, let the staff know. This helps them to prepare meals in the future, and your peers will thank you for voicing your opinions!
Finally, before you begin eating at a university cafeteria, learn how to pace yourself while eating dinners at home. If you’re someone who competes to see who is the quickest to swallow down a meal at the dinner table, that’s something you’ll need to stop. As I mentioned before, the food is usually prepared fresh, but that doesn’t mean it was prepared from scratch in your cafeteria. Often, ingredients are shipped in from afar, and preservatives are used to maintain the taste and freshness of the food you’re eating. Swallowing down more than you can actually handle can lead to some rather uncomfortable stomach pains minutes after leaving your cafeteria. We’ve all had our share of them and we don’t want you to experience it - it’s awful, really.
Your new-found dining room will become a place where you will not only eat, but study, and hang out with your friends. Learn to enjoy it for what it is, make the most of it, and make smart choices. Your body will thank you for it, and so will your wallet.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Pride
I look back on everything that has happened to me as a College student in the past few months, and I still cannot believe that so much time has passed already. I’m already being asked to reflect on things that seem like a blur, reflecting upon what my classes have taught me, my experiences, and my challenges.
An often not talked about issue with any kind of student is pride. I’ve had a major issue with this ever since I can remember. No matter how much help I actually need on any kind of subject, I will not seek it. I won’t talk to teachers, my parents, not even friends for any kind of assistance (other than, unfortunately, cheating). Personally, it’s because I feel that academia is the one thing that I am, or should be, good at, so if I got assistance, that would mean I’m just like everybody else. This has been quite an issue for me until this year.
I still remember the day that it hit me. We were in a class called “Strategies for College Success” naming off things which prevented us from academic success. A guy in the room blurted out “pride”. I had never really though of it as a condition, but after the discussion that ensued, I knew that’s what it was. Before then, I figured I was just a rare, obnoxiously stubborn student; but now I know I’m not the only one with this problem. When the issue of pride was addressed, I remember someone opening their statement with “Get over it” or something to that effect. It really did something for me. Nobody on this planet gets by without a little assistance, so who am I to deny it? I definitely learned that day that it’s okay to swallow my pride once in a while for the greater good. This lesson has already helped me in my experiences in college life, in more ways than solely academic.
Although I can’t say I am completely cured of my pride complex, I must say that it is getting better. Coming here, I figured I would have a normal experience, with nothing out of the ordinary happening to me (even, dare I say, easy). Little did I know I was in for a rude awakening, in more ways than one. Thinking that this whole experience would be a breeze caused my work to be lacking, therefore I got a bad start in two of my classes. Because of my arrogance, I put myself in a bad position which I am still squirming to get out of. I am hoping that in this second half of the semester, I can pick things up and salvage what I can and do better, which sounds like I’m waving the white flag but it is all I can do at this point. Although I hadn’t learned the pride lesson in time to save my current grades, I am proud to say that it has possibly saved me from getting into future trouble.
Another horribly misconception I had about college was that I would be in this little safe bubble which no one could or would penetrate. I was recently reminded of the fact that this world likes to throw curveballs. In high school, when someone would have an issue with me, my prideful self would not back down and it would eventually boil over. But at last week’s football game, a fairly large fan bumped into me, and then proceeded to act as if I had slapped him in the face. He began to curse and spit at me like tomorrow would never come. In the past, I would not have backed down and instead would have put myself right in his face. My pride wouldn’t have let me just walk away. So this time I got ready to do my normal routine when I thought to myself, 'This isn’t high school anymore … this guy and his buddies could seriously kill me. He’s drunk enough, he wouldn’t know any better.' I swallowed my pride and continued on my way. It was a big lesson to me that this isn’t my familiar high school territory anymore; I am basically living in a city all on my own, and there aren’t people who know me well enough here to bail me out of a petty fight. Rather, there are cops who will arrest me just as fast as they’ll arrest the other guy. This pride thing has been a challenge for me, but I believe that I’m conquering it as time progresses.
So far, College has definitely helped me with self-discovery. I’m learning more about myself, and my flaws. For the longest time, I have been stuck in this rut I would like to identify as a minor identity crisis. Depending on my mood, I will always switch between one of three envisioned futures for myself: one as a famous actor, one as a wealthy forensic psychologist, and one as an instructor of some kind. Each of these three paths have interested me all of my life, and I still can’t decide on which would best suit me. A career for me isn’t just a means to make money, but also a large contributor to my personal pursuit of happiness. So I am definitely looking forward to the next few years and the exploration that will occur. Hopefully, I will finally settle my mind, as far as in what direction I am going to go for the rest of my life.
College is definitely a new kind of beast I have yet to conquer. At first, I saw it as a way to fill the prerequisites to get a degree. But now I see it for what it truly is: a tool in my quest to be everything I can and should be. I am definitely looking forward to the rest of the semester, and, hopefully, I will seek all of the help that I can now say I truly need in order to overcome this large stepping stone in my life.
An often not talked about issue with any kind of student is pride. I’ve had a major issue with this ever since I can remember. No matter how much help I actually need on any kind of subject, I will not seek it. I won’t talk to teachers, my parents, not even friends for any kind of assistance (other than, unfortunately, cheating). Personally, it’s because I feel that academia is the one thing that I am, or should be, good at, so if I got assistance, that would mean I’m just like everybody else. This has been quite an issue for me until this year.
I still remember the day that it hit me. We were in a class called “Strategies for College Success” naming off things which prevented us from academic success. A guy in the room blurted out “pride”. I had never really though of it as a condition, but after the discussion that ensued, I knew that’s what it was. Before then, I figured I was just a rare, obnoxiously stubborn student; but now I know I’m not the only one with this problem. When the issue of pride was addressed, I remember someone opening their statement with “Get over it” or something to that effect. It really did something for me. Nobody on this planet gets by without a little assistance, so who am I to deny it? I definitely learned that day that it’s okay to swallow my pride once in a while for the greater good. This lesson has already helped me in my experiences in college life, in more ways than solely academic.
Although I can’t say I am completely cured of my pride complex, I must say that it is getting better. Coming here, I figured I would have a normal experience, with nothing out of the ordinary happening to me (even, dare I say, easy). Little did I know I was in for a rude awakening, in more ways than one. Thinking that this whole experience would be a breeze caused my work to be lacking, therefore I got a bad start in two of my classes. Because of my arrogance, I put myself in a bad position which I am still squirming to get out of. I am hoping that in this second half of the semester, I can pick things up and salvage what I can and do better, which sounds like I’m waving the white flag but it is all I can do at this point. Although I hadn’t learned the pride lesson in time to save my current grades, I am proud to say that it has possibly saved me from getting into future trouble.
Another horribly misconception I had about college was that I would be in this little safe bubble which no one could or would penetrate. I was recently reminded of the fact that this world likes to throw curveballs. In high school, when someone would have an issue with me, my prideful self would not back down and it would eventually boil over. But at last week’s football game, a fairly large fan bumped into me, and then proceeded to act as if I had slapped him in the face. He began to curse and spit at me like tomorrow would never come. In the past, I would not have backed down and instead would have put myself right in his face. My pride wouldn’t have let me just walk away. So this time I got ready to do my normal routine when I thought to myself, 'This isn’t high school anymore … this guy and his buddies could seriously kill me. He’s drunk enough, he wouldn’t know any better.' I swallowed my pride and continued on my way. It was a big lesson to me that this isn’t my familiar high school territory anymore; I am basically living in a city all on my own, and there aren’t people who know me well enough here to bail me out of a petty fight. Rather, there are cops who will arrest me just as fast as they’ll arrest the other guy. This pride thing has been a challenge for me, but I believe that I’m conquering it as time progresses.
So far, College has definitely helped me with self-discovery. I’m learning more about myself, and my flaws. For the longest time, I have been stuck in this rut I would like to identify as a minor identity crisis. Depending on my mood, I will always switch between one of three envisioned futures for myself: one as a famous actor, one as a wealthy forensic psychologist, and one as an instructor of some kind. Each of these three paths have interested me all of my life, and I still can’t decide on which would best suit me. A career for me isn’t just a means to make money, but also a large contributor to my personal pursuit of happiness. So I am definitely looking forward to the next few years and the exploration that will occur. Hopefully, I will finally settle my mind, as far as in what direction I am going to go for the rest of my life.
College is definitely a new kind of beast I have yet to conquer. At first, I saw it as a way to fill the prerequisites to get a degree. But now I see it for what it truly is: a tool in my quest to be everything I can and should be. I am definitely looking forward to the rest of the semester, and, hopefully, I will seek all of the help that I can now say I truly need in order to overcome this large stepping stone in my life.
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