New Philosophy, New Person

When I first came to this University, I was planning on majoring in psychology. But now that I have taken a few philosophy courses, I have become very interested in critical thinking. I have always been a genuinely curious person, sometimes a bit manic at moments. In the past, this personality trait has led me into rebellion and the various unproductive activities that go along with that. During my high school years, I didn’t know who I was and found myself conflicted when trying to deal with real life situations. Things felt so unfair and I felt it was me against the world. So I thought I would pay the world back and became aggressive and angry toward my friends and family. My parents preached order and rules in the house and I finally had enough of it. Things got so bad that I couldn’t be in the same room with them for even five minutes because our relationship was so hostile.

So when I got here, I was the guy down on my knees yelling out ‘freedom!!’. Things certainly are different. Not only different but great! New classes, new friends, new relationship with my parents, and a new personality for me. I have a chance to be happy, exploring psychology and philosophy, and answering two big questions: who am I, and what is the world really about?

Philosophy was something I was always interested in because philosophers could hold a heated debate for hours without losing their cool. I admired that. I decided that I didn’t want to lose my cool anymore either and wanted to mend hurt relationships. Critical thinking removes you from specific situations and when you are away for awhile, you can reflect. You can be more open-minded and not shut your eyes to new ways of thinking and experiencing. I came to realize the world is the way you look at it.
 
Studying philosophy has taught me that if you do not lose many battles, you will never learn your lesson. ‘The best chess player is one who has played thousands of matches’ applies to any situation. Or as in driving a car, ‘it's the miles under your belt that counts’. Experience is the basis for all knowledge in my opinion. I am not so quick to judge people now because I assume that everyone has had their hurts and pain, and that my adding to that would not help but rather, would harm. It was only after I decided to better myself that I recognized the good in others. Now, I see the world as full of great people.

As for my relationships with high school friends, I have mended many. I broke down one night and told them how much pain I was truly in; many of them did not know my situation and how I was feeling. I apologized to them, and was able to talk things out, and I thanked them for being so patient. With my new friends at college, I have been able to be my new self and have had fun doing it; here I am accepted even with all of my quirks, and that is the greatest feeling in the world.

I think my relationship with my parents has improved as result of the classes I have been taking. There is a convergence between our ways of thinking now. Before every discussion was a debate and/or competition. But a year of counseling and my new way of thinking has resulted in my learning how to keep my cool and use, as I mentioned before, critical thinking. I have regained a lot of trust with my parents and I respect them a lot more than I used to.

Now I am a happy person, even when something tragic happens such as a bad grade or a confrontation with an acquaintance. I am happy to be alive, and explore the millions of possibilities that make up each day. My new motto is “you win some, and you lose some,” because not everyone will love you, but you should by all means value every experience, for it is how we as humans grow. If you have never failed, you have never lived.

I failed at being a good student, a good son, and a good friend. I nearly got expelled from high school due to my anger. However I have learned so much from this and I wake up every day with the expectation to do something different, and realize the truth in every situation.

I am human, and I will make mistakes, but I will learn from those to become a better person, and University has been my haven for deep thinking away from petty problems. I cherish that.