Not Standing Out

One thing I really like about it here is that for the first time in my life, I no longer feel that I stand out from everyone else. Here's why: I spent my whole elementary school and high school time in a small town where almost everyone was white. I'm not. It's not that there was any hostility, or racism, or anything bad that was done to me or said to me except by a few really ignorant idiots who weren't to be taken seriously anyway. I fitted in well with the groups I belonged to, and I had lots of very close friends, Just as many, and just as close, as anyone else. But the difference was still there. People I hadn't met before, especially older people, would look at me just a bit longer than anyone else. Sometimes people would lower their eyes as I tried to meet theirs: that kind of thing. Perhaps I was exaggerating it in my mind, but it was always there. No matter what, I knew it was the first thing anyone noticed about me. Even if nothing actually occurred, I was always thinking that some rather small thing might happen at any time that would make me self-conscious. I should make it clear that it didn't apply to my friends, my teachers, or other people I knew well. But it was a feeling I was never able to get rid of.

But here, it doesn't apply. There are lots of people of all nationalities and all ethnic origins. So no-one stands out, including me. At last I can feel that people I meet are seeing me just as another person, rather than as a representative of something, or someone with some characteristics they might not feel comfortable with. Stupid maybe. But it makes life a lot better for me.

And actually, I've had discussions about the topic with some people I've got to know since coming here: caucasians. (Yes, they're still in the majority, although here not by much.) They have said something the same as I've felt. The watchword here is tolerance. The most amazing example I've seen so far is that there was one girl who used to be a Christian. She gave it up and became a Muslim because her best friend was a Muslim. No-one thought that the reasoning behind it was any of their business unless she wanted to discuss it, which as far as I know she didn't. She looked a bit different, but it was the same person that everyone had liked before; they still did. Nothing had changed that had anything to do with them.

Here, there are so many different kinds of people (old, young, black, white, brown, gay, straight, Moslem, Jewish, Hindu, etc) that no-one can possibly pay attention to any of it. If people did, there would be fights all the time and life would be impossible for everyone. You just have to see everyone you meet as a person.