A lot of people I know comment that I'm not a "typical" Asian girl, at least I'm not like anyone they've met before. At first I thought it was because of an exchange year that I had in the States a few years before I came to this college. But when you look at the fact that I've chosen to come so far from home to the States, I guess I am pretty different to start with. I had to immerse myself into a completely different culture as well as into the University lifestyle.
The first thing I noticed when I came to America was that everything is really intense, and moves very fast. There's a lot more freedom here, and fewer regulations, political restrictions, and cultural taboos.
That applies, first of all, largely to the online world. Information flow is more abundant, there's more variety, it all runs faster, and it's more intense. Take Facebook, it is huge everywhere right now!! On Facebook, I have friends from eight different countries. The world is so much smaller a place on Facebook. Now that you can get it on cell phones and other players people carry around all the time, it's even more instant and crazy. I'm so paranoid that I have to check it several times an hour. We have websites just like Facebook in China. Just as it is here, it's very addicting and young people are on it all the time. It's especially harsh for me because I have both the Facebook and the Chinese version of Facebook... I guess it's still pretty nice though - that website made me feel like I never left.
However, the ways people use Facebook are so different between these two countries. Here, people enjoy posting everything about their lives online. Not to mention, Americans have millions of online blogs, and people share the links they're interested in on Facebook/Twitter all the time. In this way, people have access to huge amount of information everyday. On the other hand, the internet is still young in China, so people do not know how to make the most of it by sharing information. A contributing factor is that Chinese people are a lot more reticent about making their private lives public. The culture has not yet developed to that stage, I guess.
Another difference is that there's such a wide variety of information here in America. People are not afraid to voice their stand on a current issue. In China, Chinese government have strict censorship on all media, including websites like the Chinese Facebook. The freedom of speech is also shown in news reporting. Here, there're five or six major news networks, newspapers and magazines everywhere, all with different points of view. Americans don't easily believe all that appears on the news, while in China, because media is thoroughly censored by government and there's only one point of view, it's hard to tell about the truth.
People from Asian countries probably wouldn't have too many studying problems in American colleges because they have been trained to work hard. The problem for us mostly lies in social life.
Actually, all freshmen worry about whether they fit in with others in their first year. We're all far away from home, being exposed to an extremely new situation. We're all scared of being alone. We're all trying to make friends. However, it's especially so for an international student like myself, not to mention the fact that I'm the only Chinese person in my year, if not in the entire school. People have commented that this school is quite reflective of the local rural and small town surroundings; I'm sure things are different in larger Universities that draw on a more diverse population. At this university, I have been stressed out. I have been depressed. I have been confused. I have to accept that I speak more formally than most people, and I often miss out on jokes -- they tend to allude to TV shows and other things that I haven't experienced.
It is easy to make acquaintances in America – people are outgoing and easy to talk to. But then, even though people ask, “How are you?” all the time, little do they really care about what you have to say about your life. In that sense, I found it hard to make really close friends. I do not understand how Americans are able to hang out in such big groups. I feel very strange being in a group and having somewhat trivial conversations with everyone. In China, people tend to stick together with three or four close friends most of the time.
Another confusion is the stereotype people have of college life. Using a line that I once heard on a TV show which I can only vaguely remember , "Kids! Drugs are bad. Alcohol is bad. Sex is bad. There's a time and place for all this, and it's called... college." So that's basically what's planted in most people's mind - ohhhhh, we need to accomplish the craziness of a lifetime in college!! So I guess college is also the period that people most likely go against their moral beliefs. Yep, that's just college, doesn't really count. Like if you bum a donut from someone else in a coffee shop, the calories don't count like they would if you bought it yourself.
There are definitely drugs, alcohol, and sex going on around me with people I know. And amazingly for someone with my background, they talk about it too -- I guess to show off how cool they are. On those occasions, I just listen to them and hold off on my opinions. I don't try to accept or oppose any of the life styles; I simply get to know all of them and understand why such things happen. I mean, as long as I hold on to my own values and make the choices that are right for myself, nothing would harm me, right? Most of my friends, (okay, acquaintances) respect my choices. So they don't really pressure me into anything. We still talk at dinner tables and sometimes hang out, but I'm very clear in my heart about who are the ones that I truly hold as my real friends.
Also surprisingly to me, when I come to think about things a bit more, I realize that I have in fact made several real friends who I can really relate to now. I guess things have been changing over time; little by little and without noticing it, I am indeed making friends.
One thing I've noticed that I really like about Americans is the "go-for-it" state of mind. I've always liked music, and in China, my friends and I would spend a lot of time singing -- but just for ourselves. Sure, we'd have dreams, but here, it's more about fulfilling them. People write songs, form bands, and (in my case) perform in musicals. Whatever the dream, it seems natural to try to achieve it. You can just start doing it, and make it become reality.
I'm someone who keeps myself very busy all the time, which helped me with my homesickness, although I didn’t have much of that in the first place. I think the most important thing to do as a freshman is to step out and try everything that's there. Don't hide in your comfortable corner and waste your chances. No matter where you are, you can always create opportunities for yourself. Fate won't come to you. You have to create your own. If I'd stayed in China for university there, I doubt if I'd have learned that.
That's basically what I'm doing now. I try to do a whole bunch of different things such as musicals, journalism, radio production, etc. I feel involved all the time and my life is colorful.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
New Philosophy, New Person
When I first came to this University, I was planning on majoring in psychology. But now that I have taken a few philosophy courses, I have become very interested in critical thinking. I have always been a genuinely curious person, sometimes a bit manic at moments. In the past, this personality trait has led me into rebellion and the various unproductive activities that go along with that. During my high school years, I didn’t know who I was and found myself conflicted when trying to deal with real life situations. Things felt so unfair and I felt it was me against the world. So I thought I would pay the world back and became aggressive and angry toward my friends and family. My parents preached order and rules in the house and I finally had enough of it. Things got so bad that I couldn’t be in the same room with them for even five minutes because our relationship was so hostile.
So when I got here, I was the guy down on my knees yelling out ‘freedom!!’. Things certainly are different. Not only different but great! New classes, new friends, new relationship with my parents, and a new personality for me. I have a chance to be happy, exploring psychology and philosophy, and answering two big questions: who am I, and what is the world really about?
Philosophy was something I was always interested in because philosophers could hold a heated debate for hours without losing their cool. I admired that. I decided that I didn’t want to lose my cool anymore either and wanted to mend hurt relationships. Critical thinking removes you from specific situations and when you are away for awhile, you can reflect. You can be more open-minded and not shut your eyes to new ways of thinking and experiencing. I came to realize the world is the way you look at it.
Studying philosophy has taught me that if you do not lose many battles, you will never learn your lesson. ‘The best chess player is one who has played thousands of matches’ applies to any situation. Or as in driving a car, ‘it's the miles under your belt that counts’. Experience is the basis for all knowledge in my opinion. I am not so quick to judge people now because I assume that everyone has had their hurts and pain, and that my adding to that would not help but rather, would harm. It was only after I decided to better myself that I recognized the good in others. Now, I see the world as full of great people.
As for my relationships with high school friends, I have mended many. I broke down one night and told them how much pain I was truly in; many of them did not know my situation and how I was feeling. I apologized to them, and was able to talk things out, and I thanked them for being so patient. With my new friends at college, I have been able to be my new self and have had fun doing it; here I am accepted even with all of my quirks, and that is the greatest feeling in the world.
I think my relationship with my parents has improved as result of the classes I have been taking. There is a convergence between our ways of thinking now. Before every discussion was a debate and/or competition. But a year of counseling and my new way of thinking has resulted in my learning how to keep my cool and use, as I mentioned before, critical thinking. I have regained a lot of trust with my parents and I respect them a lot more than I used to.
Now I am a happy person, even when something tragic happens such as a bad grade or a confrontation with an acquaintance. I am happy to be alive, and explore the millions of possibilities that make up each day. My new motto is “you win some, and you lose some,” because not everyone will love you, but you should by all means value every experience, for it is how we as humans grow. If you have never failed, you have never lived.
I failed at being a good student, a good son, and a good friend. I nearly got expelled from high school due to my anger. However I have learned so much from this and I wake up every day with the expectation to do something different, and realize the truth in every situation.
I am human, and I will make mistakes, but I will learn from those to become a better person, and University has been my haven for deep thinking away from petty problems. I cherish that.
So when I got here, I was the guy down on my knees yelling out ‘freedom!!’. Things certainly are different. Not only different but great! New classes, new friends, new relationship with my parents, and a new personality for me. I have a chance to be happy, exploring psychology and philosophy, and answering two big questions: who am I, and what is the world really about?
Philosophy was something I was always interested in because philosophers could hold a heated debate for hours without losing their cool. I admired that. I decided that I didn’t want to lose my cool anymore either and wanted to mend hurt relationships. Critical thinking removes you from specific situations and when you are away for awhile, you can reflect. You can be more open-minded and not shut your eyes to new ways of thinking and experiencing. I came to realize the world is the way you look at it.
Studying philosophy has taught me that if you do not lose many battles, you will never learn your lesson. ‘The best chess player is one who has played thousands of matches’ applies to any situation. Or as in driving a car, ‘it's the miles under your belt that counts’. Experience is the basis for all knowledge in my opinion. I am not so quick to judge people now because I assume that everyone has had their hurts and pain, and that my adding to that would not help but rather, would harm. It was only after I decided to better myself that I recognized the good in others. Now, I see the world as full of great people.
As for my relationships with high school friends, I have mended many. I broke down one night and told them how much pain I was truly in; many of them did not know my situation and how I was feeling. I apologized to them, and was able to talk things out, and I thanked them for being so patient. With my new friends at college, I have been able to be my new self and have had fun doing it; here I am accepted even with all of my quirks, and that is the greatest feeling in the world.
I think my relationship with my parents has improved as result of the classes I have been taking. There is a convergence between our ways of thinking now. Before every discussion was a debate and/or competition. But a year of counseling and my new way of thinking has resulted in my learning how to keep my cool and use, as I mentioned before, critical thinking. I have regained a lot of trust with my parents and I respect them a lot more than I used to.
Now I am a happy person, even when something tragic happens such as a bad grade or a confrontation with an acquaintance. I am happy to be alive, and explore the millions of possibilities that make up each day. My new motto is “you win some, and you lose some,” because not everyone will love you, but you should by all means value every experience, for it is how we as humans grow. If you have never failed, you have never lived.
I failed at being a good student, a good son, and a good friend. I nearly got expelled from high school due to my anger. However I have learned so much from this and I wake up every day with the expectation to do something different, and realize the truth in every situation.
I am human, and I will make mistakes, but I will learn from those to become a better person, and University has been my haven for deep thinking away from petty problems. I cherish that.
Student-Athlete Realities
I went to my school on a soccer scholarship. It was 20 hours away and my parents drove me down on a Friday and left that Sunday. I showed up to our training camp not knowing what to expect. I arrived with a broken arm which meant I could run and workout with the team but when it came to actually playing the game I had to sit out and chase balls. This wasn’t exactly how I had imagined spending my first week with the team. We practiced 3 times a day and in between those practices we would either be sleeping or eating, I had never felt so exhausted in my life. And classes had not even begun.
Soccer is a Fall sport which means our season runs from the end of August until the beginning of November. During that period of time, roughly every other week we would leave on a Thursday, play a game away on Friday and Sunday and come home that Sunday night, usually after midnight. I missed some of my very first classes. You learn very quickly how to plan ahead and make sure you know what is going on in all of your classes and what assignments are due. In my first year, on one of our very first road trips I remember one of the older girls asking me if I had done one of the assignments for one of my classes. I remembered the teacher talking about it but never really mentioning it again. I figured she would bring it up again when it was closer to the due date. The older girl on my team kind of laughed at me and informed me that that doesn’t happen anymore; teachers no longer remind you of everything. You get a syllabus at the beginning of the year and that’s the set schedule. This particular assignment was due that Friday night and we were going to be on the bus until about 4pm on Friday. I started writing stuff down on paper and as soon as we got to the hotel I emailed the assignment to my teacher just a couple of minutes before the deadline. From that day on, I wrote everything from the syllabus in my planner and kept it up to date. To the normal student body this may seem like a burden, but to you and your team these types of situations become second nature.
Being a student-athlete is definitely not easy, but it is one of the most rewarding experiences. My advice: on the days when you feel like you can’t handle it anymore and you would rather just be a “regular” student, don’t give up!
Here are a few things that I came to understand during my first year as a student-athlete:
* You might have been the best player on your old team, but you no longer are. You are competing for positions against people who are sometimes more than 4 years older than you.
* You will question yourself more than once a week as to why you are doing this. (For me, these thoughts occurred mostly during 6am practices or fitness practices.)
* You need to show up to practice every time, and you need to make sure that all your assignments are handed in on time. You will very often feel like it is physically impossible to fit everything in.
* You will become very familiar with the phrase: “If you’re early, you are on time; if you’re on time, you are late; and if you are late don’t even bother showing up” You will find yourself showing up to everything at least 30 minutes early.
* You will learn to write everything down in your planner in order to stay on top of things. At the end of any activity, you will look into the planner to see what's next. Then you will learn: know what's next all the time. That way, when one thing goes overtime and the other one is just beginning, you will be able to make a choice.
* You will realize that somehow, although you have very little time to yourself, you are managing and getting through it.
* You will realize that no matter what your team is behind you to support you.
* You will eventually realize that your team is your new family.
People do combine being an athlete with being a student. The rest of your team is doing it. If you're organized, so can you.
Soccer is a Fall sport which means our season runs from the end of August until the beginning of November. During that period of time, roughly every other week we would leave on a Thursday, play a game away on Friday and Sunday and come home that Sunday night, usually after midnight. I missed some of my very first classes. You learn very quickly how to plan ahead and make sure you know what is going on in all of your classes and what assignments are due. In my first year, on one of our very first road trips I remember one of the older girls asking me if I had done one of the assignments for one of my classes. I remembered the teacher talking about it but never really mentioning it again. I figured she would bring it up again when it was closer to the due date. The older girl on my team kind of laughed at me and informed me that that doesn’t happen anymore; teachers no longer remind you of everything. You get a syllabus at the beginning of the year and that’s the set schedule. This particular assignment was due that Friday night and we were going to be on the bus until about 4pm on Friday. I started writing stuff down on paper and as soon as we got to the hotel I emailed the assignment to my teacher just a couple of minutes before the deadline. From that day on, I wrote everything from the syllabus in my planner and kept it up to date. To the normal student body this may seem like a burden, but to you and your team these types of situations become second nature.
Being a student-athlete is definitely not easy, but it is one of the most rewarding experiences. My advice: on the days when you feel like you can’t handle it anymore and you would rather just be a “regular” student, don’t give up!
Here are a few things that I came to understand during my first year as a student-athlete:
* You might have been the best player on your old team, but you no longer are. You are competing for positions against people who are sometimes more than 4 years older than you.
* You will question yourself more than once a week as to why you are doing this. (For me, these thoughts occurred mostly during 6am practices or fitness practices.)
* You need to show up to practice every time, and you need to make sure that all your assignments are handed in on time. You will very often feel like it is physically impossible to fit everything in.
* You will become very familiar with the phrase: “If you’re early, you are on time; if you’re on time, you are late; and if you are late don’t even bother showing up” You will find yourself showing up to everything at least 30 minutes early.
* You will learn to write everything down in your planner in order to stay on top of things. At the end of any activity, you will look into the planner to see what's next. Then you will learn: know what's next all the time. That way, when one thing goes overtime and the other one is just beginning, you will be able to make a choice.
* You will realize that somehow, although you have very little time to yourself, you are managing and getting through it.
* You will realize that no matter what your team is behind you to support you.
* You will eventually realize that your team is your new family.
People do combine being an athlete with being a student. The rest of your team is doing it. If you're organized, so can you.
Free Food
(1)
It's less than a month into my first year at University and I'm starting to get very busy. I have lots of reading in English, which isn't the most interesting thing. I have some calculus questions and economics assignments. Needless to say it is much different from high school. You really have to be independent and make sure you keep track of everything; organization skills will be your best friend in university.
8:00 am class also sucks. I didn't think it would be that bad, but it is. Makes for a long day. Luckily I was able to change my schedule for next term so I start at either 9:00 or 9:30 am, yay!!
(2)
As extracurricular activities are important in university I'm planning on going to the Environmental and Conservation Sciences Association's (ECSA) first meeting. I'm excited because it will be a great way to meet people who are actually taking what I'm taking! Plus, free dinner is always a bonus. There are so many clubs one can join, and if there isn’t one that interests you, you can just make one!! They are an awesome way to meet people with similar interests, and there are perks, including free food!
(3)
Only a few weeks in, I have my first statistics lab and my first Biology lab due. Then I have a Calculus assignment and an Economics assignment due, not to mention a Biology essay due next week and an English presentation!! Why does it seem that everything needs to be done at the same time?! I’m busy every week but this one is extra busy. I have my economics "term test" tomorrow at 5-6 pm, which is not a very convenient time but we don't have economics class tomorrow, so that's a plus.
(4)
I went to the Energy Club's first meeting. It seems like a really cool club and I'm excited about all the things they do. I was one of the three non-engineers -- I'm sure that will change once I recruit people!! On the weekend I went to Rez Fest. On Friday people from residence and their guests went to the water park at the huge Mall in the `burbs, which was reserved just for us. It was a fun time splashing around and soaking in the hot tub. Then Saturday night they had an outdoor stage with different bands playing and beer gardens. These events allow you to met so many more people and get to meet people you wouldn’t normally meet. Overall it was a really fun time and glad I went.
(5)
I'm a little scared for my first midterm, not going to lie, but I do have a reasonable amount of hope that everything goes well. I also have a big biology lab report due. Who knew labs could take so long? High school definitely doesn't prepare you very well. What a huge step it is between high school and university, I don't think people realize how huge until they experience it.
(6)
You can definitely tell it's midterm time here. Everyone is reading their notes on their breaks and before classes.
My statistics exam was okay, more questions than I could finish, so some guessing was involved...yikes. The calculus one went pretty well; I knew how to do the majority of it. I find out the marks tomorrow so that will be the true test! Finally, I have one more midterm left!!!!! Biology: I have a feeling this one won't be too easy, as my professor is known to have hard exams, and honestly evolution is not really my thing.
I also have to write an essay for English 123, which I'm not looking forward to since I don't like essays. The class is really fun though since we have lots of discussions and we are watching the movie "Waltz with Bashir" right now; fascinating. Then I have a term test next week for econ 101.
(7)
My best experience yet has to be volunteering at the University`s Open House. I stood at the Energy Club`s booth and talked to perspective students and their parents, and answered lots of questions they had. It was awesome to see people interested in the program -- it reminded me of myself. I helped some people understand our faculty and program better, but also the whole university life, so that was nice to see. I met people that are in my faculty and my program, which was good; everyone was very nice. I met some professors as well so I'm glad I went! I hope this event recruited some more people to our faculty, because I told everyone I talked to how awesome it is.
After reading our view book and talking to some of the professors and prospective students, I once again am so happy I'm in this Faculty. I really think this is the best there is, and I know I will have an awesome time here!
(8)
I got back my marks for the stats and calculus midterms. Stats, not so good, calc I was happy with. I had my bio midterm on Monday which was okay; it wasn't as scary as I thought it would be, but my prof is known to have exams with tricks in them, so who knows how well I really did?
Most of the marks I'm getting are definitely different from what I got in high school, which is a big shock, but for some reason it doesn't seem to matter as much how smart you are or what mark you got. Maybe I'm living in some dream world, but it's not this big competition of who can get the highest mark. That is probably due to the fact that there are up to 400 students in a class, so it`s impossible to keep up with how well you`re doing compared with everyone else. However, I do sometimes have the fear jag: not doing well enough, or even failing one of my classes.
Just another reason to keep on top of my work and study hard, and consequently have no social life.
(9)
Our faculty had a free BBQ today. They had some delicious veggie burgers, which were very popular. It was the best free BBQ I've seen yet. They even had chips and vegetables! I also looked at the "Go Abroad Fair" in the atrium. I was always thinking of studying abroad, mainly in Sweden, because I heard it was awesome and there is a program specifically for my degree. Talking with a girl who went there definitely reinforced how awesome it is there. Now I'm really excited to go, so I think I'll do that in my 3rd year!
My parents are coming up this weekend and also some of my friends from home, so I'm very excited to see everyone! But now I need to do my math assignment before I get too excited about the long weekend!!
(10)
Well I had a fairly good weekend. My parents came up from home, and I stayed with them in their hotel for most of it. Different food and different scene from the cafeteria! I got to go out with my two friends from home on Saturday night. It was really nice to see some familiar faces again, and I also had some good talks. However it seems at the time, Facebook is not the same as face-to-face with a beer. It makes me miss home a little, but I do really enjoy being here.
(11)
Aside from university-related activities, there is a lot of partying when you are here, especially living in residence. You become so close to the people who you live with that they become your family so it’s always fun going out with them, or just watching a movie. Most weekends there is a party going on, and some weeknights too! Sorry mom and dad!
The major party weekend so far is Halloween, and that means a bunch of university kids dressing up like they are children and going out! I'm going on a pub crawl with my friends. I'm either going to be a tree or a recycling bin -- fitting for my degree, I know. I have no idea how to create either with what I have, so a Value Village run may be in store. University also teaches you to be crafty and creative. Like creating something out of nothing, and of course as cheaply as possible. There are so many things to do while in university, that you just can’t do them all, but in the long run those are the things that will make the experience that much memoriable and rewarding.
(12)
I am going to be busy this week! I have my economics "term test" tomorrow at 5-6 pm -- not a very convenient time, but we don't have econ class tomorrow so that's a plus. I'm finding that I think about everything in terms of economics now, like thinking what are the marginal costs and benefits of going out instead of doing homework. A bit frightening!
And another huge bio lab, and calculus questions, and ... wait, where's my schedule? How some people can do without one, I just don't know. Truth to tell though, there are people who just forget to do something, and only find out when everyone else starts to talk at the beginning of a class about how long it took. Then they either have to accept the loss of marks, or go scurrying up to the Prof's office trying to think of an excuse.
(13)
Great news!!!
So I couldn't wait till my next entry to share this exciting news. I just received two scholarships that I applied for! Thank you to the Faculty for making it so easy for students to apply for scholarships. So with the one scholarship I already had, and these two, my tuition for the whole year is paid! Yay!!!! It seriously pays to apply for as many scholarships as you can, because lots of times no one applies.
Also I've discovered I'm a true university student now. I waited in a huge line to get a free hotdog for lunch ... how university changes you! I got a free dinner tonight for going to ECSA's meeting. Then tomorrow night I get another free dinner because I'm going to the Institute of Agrologists bbq because with my degree I'll be eligible to become a Professional Agrologist! Agrologist, not Astrologist!
I'm definitely liking this whole university experience ... well minus the homework. I need to do some serious studying now though, so talk to you later.
It's less than a month into my first year at University and I'm starting to get very busy. I have lots of reading in English, which isn't the most interesting thing. I have some calculus questions and economics assignments. Needless to say it is much different from high school. You really have to be independent and make sure you keep track of everything; organization skills will be your best friend in university.
8:00 am class also sucks. I didn't think it would be that bad, but it is. Makes for a long day. Luckily I was able to change my schedule for next term so I start at either 9:00 or 9:30 am, yay!!
(2)
As extracurricular activities are important in university I'm planning on going to the Environmental and Conservation Sciences Association's (ECSA) first meeting. I'm excited because it will be a great way to meet people who are actually taking what I'm taking! Plus, free dinner is always a bonus. There are so many clubs one can join, and if there isn’t one that interests you, you can just make one!! They are an awesome way to meet people with similar interests, and there are perks, including free food!
(3)
Only a few weeks in, I have my first statistics lab and my first Biology lab due. Then I have a Calculus assignment and an Economics assignment due, not to mention a Biology essay due next week and an English presentation!! Why does it seem that everything needs to be done at the same time?! I’m busy every week but this one is extra busy. I have my economics "term test" tomorrow at 5-6 pm, which is not a very convenient time but we don't have economics class tomorrow, so that's a plus.
(4)
I went to the Energy Club's first meeting. It seems like a really cool club and I'm excited about all the things they do. I was one of the three non-engineers -- I'm sure that will change once I recruit people!! On the weekend I went to Rez Fest. On Friday people from residence and their guests went to the water park at the huge Mall in the `burbs, which was reserved just for us. It was a fun time splashing around and soaking in the hot tub. Then Saturday night they had an outdoor stage with different bands playing and beer gardens. These events allow you to met so many more people and get to meet people you wouldn’t normally meet. Overall it was a really fun time and glad I went.
(5)
I'm a little scared for my first midterm, not going to lie, but I do have a reasonable amount of hope that everything goes well. I also have a big biology lab report due. Who knew labs could take so long? High school definitely doesn't prepare you very well. What a huge step it is between high school and university, I don't think people realize how huge until they experience it.
(6)
You can definitely tell it's midterm time here. Everyone is reading their notes on their breaks and before classes.
My statistics exam was okay, more questions than I could finish, so some guessing was involved...yikes. The calculus one went pretty well; I knew how to do the majority of it. I find out the marks tomorrow so that will be the true test! Finally, I have one more midterm left!!!!! Biology: I have a feeling this one won't be too easy, as my professor is known to have hard exams, and honestly evolution is not really my thing.
I also have to write an essay for English 123, which I'm not looking forward to since I don't like essays. The class is really fun though since we have lots of discussions and we are watching the movie "Waltz with Bashir" right now; fascinating. Then I have a term test next week for econ 101.
(7)
My best experience yet has to be volunteering at the University`s Open House. I stood at the Energy Club`s booth and talked to perspective students and their parents, and answered lots of questions they had. It was awesome to see people interested in the program -- it reminded me of myself. I helped some people understand our faculty and program better, but also the whole university life, so that was nice to see. I met people that are in my faculty and my program, which was good; everyone was very nice. I met some professors as well so I'm glad I went! I hope this event recruited some more people to our faculty, because I told everyone I talked to how awesome it is.
After reading our view book and talking to some of the professors and prospective students, I once again am so happy I'm in this Faculty. I really think this is the best there is, and I know I will have an awesome time here!
(8)
I got back my marks for the stats and calculus midterms. Stats, not so good, calc I was happy with. I had my bio midterm on Monday which was okay; it wasn't as scary as I thought it would be, but my prof is known to have exams with tricks in them, so who knows how well I really did?
Most of the marks I'm getting are definitely different from what I got in high school, which is a big shock, but for some reason it doesn't seem to matter as much how smart you are or what mark you got. Maybe I'm living in some dream world, but it's not this big competition of who can get the highest mark. That is probably due to the fact that there are up to 400 students in a class, so it`s impossible to keep up with how well you`re doing compared with everyone else. However, I do sometimes have the fear jag: not doing well enough, or even failing one of my classes.
Just another reason to keep on top of my work and study hard, and consequently have no social life.
(9)
Our faculty had a free BBQ today. They had some delicious veggie burgers, which were very popular. It was the best free BBQ I've seen yet. They even had chips and vegetables! I also looked at the "Go Abroad Fair" in the atrium. I was always thinking of studying abroad, mainly in Sweden, because I heard it was awesome and there is a program specifically for my degree. Talking with a girl who went there definitely reinforced how awesome it is there. Now I'm really excited to go, so I think I'll do that in my 3rd year!
My parents are coming up this weekend and also some of my friends from home, so I'm very excited to see everyone! But now I need to do my math assignment before I get too excited about the long weekend!!
(10)
Well I had a fairly good weekend. My parents came up from home, and I stayed with them in their hotel for most of it. Different food and different scene from the cafeteria! I got to go out with my two friends from home on Saturday night. It was really nice to see some familiar faces again, and I also had some good talks. However it seems at the time, Facebook is not the same as face-to-face with a beer. It makes me miss home a little, but I do really enjoy being here.
(11)
Aside from university-related activities, there is a lot of partying when you are here, especially living in residence. You become so close to the people who you live with that they become your family so it’s always fun going out with them, or just watching a movie. Most weekends there is a party going on, and some weeknights too! Sorry mom and dad!
The major party weekend so far is Halloween, and that means a bunch of university kids dressing up like they are children and going out! I'm going on a pub crawl with my friends. I'm either going to be a tree or a recycling bin -- fitting for my degree, I know. I have no idea how to create either with what I have, so a Value Village run may be in store. University also teaches you to be crafty and creative. Like creating something out of nothing, and of course as cheaply as possible. There are so many things to do while in university, that you just can’t do them all, but in the long run those are the things that will make the experience that much memoriable and rewarding.
(12)
I am going to be busy this week! I have my economics "term test" tomorrow at 5-6 pm -- not a very convenient time, but we don't have econ class tomorrow so that's a plus. I'm finding that I think about everything in terms of economics now, like thinking what are the marginal costs and benefits of going out instead of doing homework. A bit frightening!
And another huge bio lab, and calculus questions, and ... wait, where's my schedule? How some people can do without one, I just don't know. Truth to tell though, there are people who just forget to do something, and only find out when everyone else starts to talk at the beginning of a class about how long it took. Then they either have to accept the loss of marks, or go scurrying up to the Prof's office trying to think of an excuse.
(13)
Great news!!!
So I couldn't wait till my next entry to share this exciting news. I just received two scholarships that I applied for! Thank you to the Faculty for making it so easy for students to apply for scholarships. So with the one scholarship I already had, and these two, my tuition for the whole year is paid! Yay!!!! It seriously pays to apply for as many scholarships as you can, because lots of times no one applies.
Also I've discovered I'm a true university student now. I waited in a huge line to get a free hotdog for lunch ... how university changes you! I got a free dinner tonight for going to ECSA's meeting. Then tomorrow night I get another free dinner because I'm going to the Institute of Agrologists bbq because with my degree I'll be eligible to become a Professional Agrologist! Agrologist, not Astrologist!
I'm definitely liking this whole university experience ... well minus the homework. I need to do some serious studying now though, so talk to you later.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Moderation
The thing I struggled with most during my freshman year was time management. In high school, after a day of classes, you do your extra curriculars, go home, eat dinner, and work on homework. You have parents to make you do your homework and teachers to check up on you. Your life is mostly dictated by outside forces.
When you get to college you have complete freedom over your life. You make your own choices and create your own experience. And if you come from a very strict household as I did, you might have a lot of trouble adjusting to the freedom.
My new found freedom in college caused me problems when it came to the party scene. Since I came from a very uptight household, I never partied in high school. My parents kept tabs on me at all times: I had to call when I arrived no matter where I was going and my parents waited up for me to come home. Coming to college, I could do whatever I wanted, wherever and whenever I wanted. It’s really easy to go out every weekend and go buck wild. Soon you realize that nothing is stopping you from drinking during the week too. Before you know it, you will have established some pretty bad habits like drinking on a Monday or skipping your first class in the morning. I'm not by any means saying don't party. Partying is fun, different from the workload stress and a great way to meet people on campus. Older friends (not necessarily friends of my parents!) have told me that this time in your life doesn't last for ever; once you're older, you won't usually have this instant bond with people you meet. Kind of a mafia that's based on age: that's how I've heard it described.
So yes, by all means, go ahead. Don't waste the opportunity. All I'm saying is that it’s important to take things slow. Ease yourself in to your new found freedom. It’s all about moderation.
If you are in Res, you are living with your friends 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s insanely easy to spend all your non-class time hanging out with your friends. So it’s really important to get into the habit early on of taking a little time for yourself. Studying with friends can be great sometimes, but other times you need to take time to get things done by yourself. Study, do laundry, call your parents, or just listen to music by yourself. If you don't start taking time out for you right from the beginning, you'll get stuck in the habit of spending all your time with your friends and really getting nothing accomplished.
Another thing I ran into trouble with was money management. My parents gave me a debit card which had the 2,000 dollars on it that I earned over the summer. The same things I mentioned earlier apply to money. Just be aware of what you are spending. It doesn't seem like you are spending a lot of money when you go to McDonalds or Denny's but the money adds up fast. A good idea is to set a limit for the money you can spend for fun every month and the money you need to spend on the essentials. I never checked my account because I just figured there was no way I was going to spend 2,000 dollars in one year. At the end of the year I checked my account and discovered I had spent close to $1,500. Most banks offer online banking which is a great thing to take advantage of. If you can actually see how much you are spending you can be more careful.
I loved every minute of my freshman year but if there is one lesson I learned it was definitely to take things in moderation, and it's ok to say no sometimes (okay, I guess that’s two lessons, but they are related). Have fun though! People know what they are talking about when they tell you that college will be the best years of your life.
When you get to college you have complete freedom over your life. You make your own choices and create your own experience. And if you come from a very strict household as I did, you might have a lot of trouble adjusting to the freedom.
My new found freedom in college caused me problems when it came to the party scene. Since I came from a very uptight household, I never partied in high school. My parents kept tabs on me at all times: I had to call when I arrived no matter where I was going and my parents waited up for me to come home. Coming to college, I could do whatever I wanted, wherever and whenever I wanted. It’s really easy to go out every weekend and go buck wild. Soon you realize that nothing is stopping you from drinking during the week too. Before you know it, you will have established some pretty bad habits like drinking on a Monday or skipping your first class in the morning. I'm not by any means saying don't party. Partying is fun, different from the workload stress and a great way to meet people on campus. Older friends (not necessarily friends of my parents!) have told me that this time in your life doesn't last for ever; once you're older, you won't usually have this instant bond with people you meet. Kind of a mafia that's based on age: that's how I've heard it described.
So yes, by all means, go ahead. Don't waste the opportunity. All I'm saying is that it’s important to take things slow. Ease yourself in to your new found freedom. It’s all about moderation.
If you are in Res, you are living with your friends 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s insanely easy to spend all your non-class time hanging out with your friends. So it’s really important to get into the habit early on of taking a little time for yourself. Studying with friends can be great sometimes, but other times you need to take time to get things done by yourself. Study, do laundry, call your parents, or just listen to music by yourself. If you don't start taking time out for you right from the beginning, you'll get stuck in the habit of spending all your time with your friends and really getting nothing accomplished.
Another thing I ran into trouble with was money management. My parents gave me a debit card which had the 2,000 dollars on it that I earned over the summer. The same things I mentioned earlier apply to money. Just be aware of what you are spending. It doesn't seem like you are spending a lot of money when you go to McDonalds or Denny's but the money adds up fast. A good idea is to set a limit for the money you can spend for fun every month and the money you need to spend on the essentials. I never checked my account because I just figured there was no way I was going to spend 2,000 dollars in one year. At the end of the year I checked my account and discovered I had spent close to $1,500. Most banks offer online banking which is a great thing to take advantage of. If you can actually see how much you are spending you can be more careful.
I loved every minute of my freshman year but if there is one lesson I learned it was definitely to take things in moderation, and it's ok to say no sometimes (okay, I guess that’s two lessons, but they are related). Have fun though! People know what they are talking about when they tell you that college will be the best years of your life.
University, the Ultimate Breaker-Upper
August 13th: “We’re just going to see how things go and stay together even though we are at opposite ends of the country.”
August 31st: “Yeah….. we’re breaking up.”
When people move across the country or internationally, many are left with the question of what to do about their relationship with their boyfriend or girlfriend.
What do you do when you’re going to school across the country and he or she isn’t? Do you allow the long distance factor to break you up? Is it fair to your second half that you’re moving far away and they are just supposed to wait for you to come home? Can you have a relationship without seeing each other until Christmas? Can you ever date someone who is so far away and make it work? What is needed for a “true” relationship? Or are we all just convinced that we have to be in the same city at the same time to date?
What do you do when you meet someone you fall in love with just days before you move across the country? Is geography always the deciding factor in who we love? If there truly is just one person in this entire world that is our true love, then how can we expect that this one and only person will exist within city limits? So what do we do as students when we are faced with the challenge of University? Do we all just break up with our boyfriends/girlfriends of 9 months… 2 years… five years? Five years .. that's me .. long story ..
How can you get over someone when you don’t want to break up with them but you have to? You still have feelings for them, but common-sense tells you that it’s not worth being together. Or should you try to make it work. Is “making it work” even possible? Should we be putting this much thought into a high school relationship? When our parents were our age, they were getting married at 18, 19, 20 and they already knew their true loves, so why can’t we? Why do our parents say that we are too young? So in the end, what do we do?
Are there even any right answers in these situations?
Myself? My boyfriend and I broke up a month before I went to University because I was moving across the country and he was going to attend the university in our home city. We knew five years would be too long a time to remain together from a distance. But still to this day, I miss him a lot. But as much as I love him, I think about the famous quote, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you it's yours to keep." The timing just wasn't right. Maybe if we had met once we were older and had finished our post-secondary education, then we could have stayed together forever with no interruptions.
We'd started dating in elementary school and we experienced lots of things together. We went to Paris for spring break with our high school, to Disney World one summer with his entire family, and to various theme parks across the country where I tried to get him on a roller coaster with me but he was just too scared.
Our last year of high school, we began to wonder if we would stay together when I moved away; when spring came and we had to decide which university we would each attend, we started thinking seriously about it. I had never wanted to go to university in our home city but I could have stayed within an hours drive; then we could have stayed together. But I knew that going to this University was too good an opportunity to pass up. When it became clear that I was moving across the country, we both decided that staying together wasn't going to be an option.
We both felt that it would be impossible to feel like we were in a true relationship with each other since we would be so busy with homework and could only see each other once or twice a year. We are young, we are free, and we both wanted to experience university life to its fullest, without restricting ourselves from meeting new people.
Even though we knew in the spring that our relationship would come to a close at the end of the summer, I missed him more than ever when he went away that summer on a family vacation. When he came home, I couldn't picture how hard it would be to be apart from him for good. No more watching movies together, no more sharing rides to school, no more ball hockey in the drive way and I could no longer see his adorable kitten, Philly.
Now that I've survived the transition, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I send him a "hey" almost every single day and that gets the feelings of how far away he is and how much I miss him out of my system. Even so, I still feel I would be jealous of any girl that he is around. Our mutual decision that we would go our separate ways was sad because our 5 year adventure had to come to an end solely because of geography. But I did find once I made the move to university, being in a different city helped me get over the break up much easier.
I dated another boy for the first three months that I was in first year. I met him in the first week of classes and we hit it off from the start. He taught me to long board and shared his entire music collection of 7,000 songs with me. I absolutely loved sharing my world with him just as much as he did with me.
So here I was, at a new university, new friends, new boyfriend, new clothes and a new life. But that relationship ended as well: he wanted us to move too far too fast, and I was hesitant even though I was falling for him. He didn't know how to communicate how he felt about issues in our relationship with me, so his feelings built up until he became very unhappy. And most importantly, he wanted Sex and I didn't. His feeling was that Sex makes or breaks a relationship; my feeling went back to something my mom once told me about the book Pride and Prejudice. She said that so many people like the book; they especially identify with Lizzy, because they want to have pride like she does. I'm like that. I want my pride. I couldn't be all the things he wanted me to be.
So the relationship came and the relationship went. While it was interesting to be with someone fresh and new, this boyfriend and my ex were very different. My ex-boyfriend from back at home was captain of the hockey team and my university boyfriend hated the sound of skates on ice.
Even though my ex-boyfriend and I continued to communicate throughout this relationship, I never told him about this new boy because he had made it clear that he didn't want to know about anyone I was seeing because he would become jealous. He was happier not knowing. He knew that I was most likely out living my life but didn't want to think about it.
I wasn't tempted to get back with him, because we couldn't deal with the physical distance between us. We continued to stay in touch, and we still do. I still miss being his girlfriend and I wish that our long term relationship hadn't had to come to an end. We both wanted to be with each other but it just wasn't the time. If he was in the same city as me, I would still be going with him for sure. Even though I had those feelings and I probably always will, dating new people is just as exciting.
When it comes to the question of whether you break up or not because of school, I do not see a breakup as a bad thing. In university, you are supposed to meet new people and I believe you will find absolutely extraordinary people that you will want to share your world with, no matter what. The ex-boyfriend from back at home is still my friend and I never want him out of my life. The recent boyfriend and I are not good friends at all.
My ex-boyfriend from back home and I promised each other that if we end up living in the same city again after we are done our Undergrads, we will give dating a shot again. I can't help but look forward to that time.
In the end, it’s all positive. I gained new insights into relationships, and into the way I react to new situations. And I gained a new music collection.
August 31st: “Yeah….. we’re breaking up.”
When people move across the country or internationally, many are left with the question of what to do about their relationship with their boyfriend or girlfriend.
What do you do when you’re going to school across the country and he or she isn’t? Do you allow the long distance factor to break you up? Is it fair to your second half that you’re moving far away and they are just supposed to wait for you to come home? Can you have a relationship without seeing each other until Christmas? Can you ever date someone who is so far away and make it work? What is needed for a “true” relationship? Or are we all just convinced that we have to be in the same city at the same time to date?
What do you do when you meet someone you fall in love with just days before you move across the country? Is geography always the deciding factor in who we love? If there truly is just one person in this entire world that is our true love, then how can we expect that this one and only person will exist within city limits? So what do we do as students when we are faced with the challenge of University? Do we all just break up with our boyfriends/girlfriends of 9 months… 2 years… five years? Five years .. that's me .. long story ..
How can you get over someone when you don’t want to break up with them but you have to? You still have feelings for them, but common-sense tells you that it’s not worth being together. Or should you try to make it work. Is “making it work” even possible? Should we be putting this much thought into a high school relationship? When our parents were our age, they were getting married at 18, 19, 20 and they already knew their true loves, so why can’t we? Why do our parents say that we are too young? So in the end, what do we do?
Are there even any right answers in these situations?
Myself? My boyfriend and I broke up a month before I went to University because I was moving across the country and he was going to attend the university in our home city. We knew five years would be too long a time to remain together from a distance. But still to this day, I miss him a lot. But as much as I love him, I think about the famous quote, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you it's yours to keep." The timing just wasn't right. Maybe if we had met once we were older and had finished our post-secondary education, then we could have stayed together forever with no interruptions.
We'd started dating in elementary school and we experienced lots of things together. We went to Paris for spring break with our high school, to Disney World one summer with his entire family, and to various theme parks across the country where I tried to get him on a roller coaster with me but he was just too scared.
Our last year of high school, we began to wonder if we would stay together when I moved away; when spring came and we had to decide which university we would each attend, we started thinking seriously about it. I had never wanted to go to university in our home city but I could have stayed within an hours drive; then we could have stayed together. But I knew that going to this University was too good an opportunity to pass up. When it became clear that I was moving across the country, we both decided that staying together wasn't going to be an option.
We both felt that it would be impossible to feel like we were in a true relationship with each other since we would be so busy with homework and could only see each other once or twice a year. We are young, we are free, and we both wanted to experience university life to its fullest, without restricting ourselves from meeting new people.
Even though we knew in the spring that our relationship would come to a close at the end of the summer, I missed him more than ever when he went away that summer on a family vacation. When he came home, I couldn't picture how hard it would be to be apart from him for good. No more watching movies together, no more sharing rides to school, no more ball hockey in the drive way and I could no longer see his adorable kitten, Philly.
Now that I've survived the transition, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I send him a "hey" almost every single day and that gets the feelings of how far away he is and how much I miss him out of my system. Even so, I still feel I would be jealous of any girl that he is around. Our mutual decision that we would go our separate ways was sad because our 5 year adventure had to come to an end solely because of geography. But I did find once I made the move to university, being in a different city helped me get over the break up much easier.
I dated another boy for the first three months that I was in first year. I met him in the first week of classes and we hit it off from the start. He taught me to long board and shared his entire music collection of 7,000 songs with me. I absolutely loved sharing my world with him just as much as he did with me.
So here I was, at a new university, new friends, new boyfriend, new clothes and a new life. But that relationship ended as well: he wanted us to move too far too fast, and I was hesitant even though I was falling for him. He didn't know how to communicate how he felt about issues in our relationship with me, so his feelings built up until he became very unhappy. And most importantly, he wanted Sex and I didn't. His feeling was that Sex makes or breaks a relationship; my feeling went back to something my mom once told me about the book Pride and Prejudice. She said that so many people like the book; they especially identify with Lizzy, because they want to have pride like she does. I'm like that. I want my pride. I couldn't be all the things he wanted me to be.
So the relationship came and the relationship went. While it was interesting to be with someone fresh and new, this boyfriend and my ex were very different. My ex-boyfriend from back at home was captain of the hockey team and my university boyfriend hated the sound of skates on ice.
Even though my ex-boyfriend and I continued to communicate throughout this relationship, I never told him about this new boy because he had made it clear that he didn't want to know about anyone I was seeing because he would become jealous. He was happier not knowing. He knew that I was most likely out living my life but didn't want to think about it.
I wasn't tempted to get back with him, because we couldn't deal with the physical distance between us. We continued to stay in touch, and we still do. I still miss being his girlfriend and I wish that our long term relationship hadn't had to come to an end. We both wanted to be with each other but it just wasn't the time. If he was in the same city as me, I would still be going with him for sure. Even though I had those feelings and I probably always will, dating new people is just as exciting.
When it comes to the question of whether you break up or not because of school, I do not see a breakup as a bad thing. In university, you are supposed to meet new people and I believe you will find absolutely extraordinary people that you will want to share your world with, no matter what. The ex-boyfriend from back at home is still my friend and I never want him out of my life. The recent boyfriend and I are not good friends at all.
My ex-boyfriend from back home and I promised each other that if we end up living in the same city again after we are done our Undergrads, we will give dating a shot again. I can't help but look forward to that time.
In the end, it’s all positive. I gained new insights into relationships, and into the way I react to new situations. And I gained a new music collection.
Dating
When I came to college I was dating my high school boyfriend, who was now a senior in high school. I was so sure things would work out when I left. For the first month, things were good. We talked on the phone, on the internet, and texted every day. However, as my work load mounted and he started his school year we talked less. You just can’t help but get frustrated when the communication slows and when you have nothing to talk about. I was so excited to be at college but I felt bad telling him how happy I was because he wasn’t there. He pretended to be interested in stories about my new friends that he didn’t know. We just fell apart and you can’t fix things over the phone. The first time I went home we broke up. It was mutual but it hurt us both so much. It was the distance that killed us.
Distance sometimes makes couples stronger; it did for one of my best friends. I think it’s important to evaluate the strength of not only your relationship but also your communication skills. All you will have are phone calls and hopefully visits. It is essential to decide beforehand when and how often you will talk. Honesty and openness are also really important. You need to be able to talk about how you are feeling and talk about things that are bothering you or the relationship will never work.
Distance sometimes makes couples stronger; it did for one of my best friends. I think it’s important to evaluate the strength of not only your relationship but also your communication skills. All you will have are phone calls and hopefully visits. It is essential to decide beforehand when and how often you will talk. Honesty and openness are also really important. You need to be able to talk about how you are feeling and talk about things that are bothering you or the relationship will never work.
Working Together
When I first got to college my number one priority was making friends. After orientation, we no longer had hours upon hours to hang out because we all had work to do. A simple solution was for us to all meet up in the lounge and do our homework together. However, every time we would sit down to work someone would start up a conversation and no one would get anything done. We were all more interested in each other than our classes. The work started piling up and we quickly realized that group study time was ineffective. Slowly the number of people doing homework together started dwindling. Some worked up in their rooms and others went to the library to find a silent corner.
Every so often we will forget why we no longer do homework together. Recently, I went to the library with one of my friends to write a paper. We were there for five hours and I got only one page done. Instead we talked and listened to music in a group study room. Neither of us are disciplined enough to sit in the same room and not talk. Sometimes you can be lucky enough to find someone that you are able to work with. I personally do not like working with people I do not know well. On one hand you probably will not be tempted to talk about your life, since the only thing you share is the class. On the other hand I often feel uncomfortable working with people I don't know -- for one thing there seem to be a lot of awkward silences. But I have found a few friends who I can do homework with and actually get stuff done. Usually they are the type of people who are really focused and will ignore me until I get to work.
If you can find one or two people who you work well with I think it is a great motivator to get things done. Going to the library is not so daunting if you have someone to go with. Even if they slow you down slightly, it makes the work less stressful.
Every so often we will forget why we no longer do homework together. Recently, I went to the library with one of my friends to write a paper. We were there for five hours and I got only one page done. Instead we talked and listened to music in a group study room. Neither of us are disciplined enough to sit in the same room and not talk. Sometimes you can be lucky enough to find someone that you are able to work with. I personally do not like working with people I do not know well. On one hand you probably will not be tempted to talk about your life, since the only thing you share is the class. On the other hand I often feel uncomfortable working with people I don't know -- for one thing there seem to be a lot of awkward silences. But I have found a few friends who I can do homework with and actually get stuff done. Usually they are the type of people who are really focused and will ignore me until I get to work.
If you can find one or two people who you work well with I think it is a great motivator to get things done. Going to the library is not so daunting if you have someone to go with. Even if they slow you down slightly, it makes the work less stressful.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Mistakes: Your Own Can be Hard to See
I failed my first year of university. So I packed my bags and went home.
Looking back, I realize my mistakes.
I had too much free time. My bus ride home from campus was two hours so in between classes, I had to find ways to fill my time. Instead of staying on campus and doing my work, I would go to the mall and just hang out. Because I had so much free time, I figured there was always tomorrow, or the next day, or the weekend, to get things done. If a due date was three weeks away, I thought that was a lot of time, so procrastinating did not seem like a bad thing. Then due dates began to pile up, test dates started to come quickly, and what was previously a lot of time was suddenly no time. Even after some failed first semester courses, I couldn’t seem to work between classes. It wasn’t that I couldn’t study with other freshmen; I guess I figured that what worked in high school would work in college.
I didn’t pay enough attention to my poor math entrance test results. Because I didn’t do well enough on these tests, I had to take prerequisite courses for the math courses required for my major. In effect, they were prerequisites for prerequisities. So not only did I figure that they didn’t count for anything (a mistake which cost me dearly), I didn’t think about perhaps changing my major to something that involved fewer math courses. In retrospect, I should have paid attention to the reason for these low marks and the reason for these entrance tests: I sucked at math and was nuts to take a major which involved so many math courses.
When I received a letter telling me that my grades were too low to continue my studies, I didn't go and talk to anyone about it to figure out where I could go from there. I can’t exactly say what my mindset was at the time. It could have been school burnout. By the time I got the letter, I didn't look too much into my options because I figured I could be done with school and just get a job. I was young and wasn't thinking of the long-term.
A year of working in a dead end job that I didn't like reminded me of why I wanted a degree in the first place. So I decided to move on. I chose to go to Community College instead of back to the university. But this time, I switched my major to something with less math and with more core classes than electives. Each semester I could check another 3 or 4 courses off of my checklist so it felt like progress was happening faster.
At the Community College, the first few semesters didn’t seem much different from high school. But as time went on, classes became harder and the work more time-consuming. Taking courses at a Community College was helpful, because it helped me ease into my next step: reenrollment at the University I had gone to before. But this time I made some changes:
I took advantage of some of the gaps in time between classes to get involved in some clubs. I started with just one but in my second term, joined another as well. Having less spare time between classes helped me make better use of the time I did have, so I got more work done. If there was no meeting on a given day, but I had some time, I'd hang out either in a computer lab or in the cafeteria and read my textbooks or try to knock out some homework. On club meeting days, I'd go to the meeting room early and do something for a class before the meeting started. I learned that figuring out the time management thing when you don't have a lot of time to play with is easier than when you have big chunks of time.
I took a different major than I had when I was there before, more along the lines of what I took at Community College. I found the new courses related to each other and related to my end goal. I enjoyed many of the profs because they taught using their real life experiences for the course material; this gave us better insight about how the content of the text could be used in the work force. Since I had struggled with math in the past, I took some of the necessary math courses online. The advantage was that when you did your homework online, you would immediately know if you got it right; it was helpful to submit homework answers on a website and have immediate feedback about right and wrong answers. Of course wrong answers were just wrong and there was no hint as to how to fix it or what was wrong, so it took a little longer to figure it out, but I think that was the point to doing it that way. Because our professor couldn't see our work, there couldn't be partial credit or the ability to say ‘look, you dropped your negative there and that’s why it’s wrong’. I think having to go back and figure it out helped a lot come test time. I liked having immediate results and not having to wait to know what I needed to do.
I knew that this time was my first and last chance to succeed. This was calculus, and the only chance I had to take the course and pass it -- I had reached my maximum semesters of financial aid so I needed to finish in May. All of the classes I had scheduled that year were 'must pass' classes. I had no wiggle room.
Looking back at my previous awful first year experience at University, I could have avoided my mistakes by actually going to the learning center and meeting with advisers; maybe they could have helped me to understand that failing these courses wasn’t the end of the world and help me develop a new plan. I could have also gotten involved in extracurriculars right from the start and given myself a reason to stay on campus rather than wander off. A little more focus on time management would have been helpful, although I've got to say it took me a while to figure out the secret to managing time - that being having less of it to deal with.
Looking back, I realize my mistakes.
I had too much free time. My bus ride home from campus was two hours so in between classes, I had to find ways to fill my time. Instead of staying on campus and doing my work, I would go to the mall and just hang out. Because I had so much free time, I figured there was always tomorrow, or the next day, or the weekend, to get things done. If a due date was three weeks away, I thought that was a lot of time, so procrastinating did not seem like a bad thing. Then due dates began to pile up, test dates started to come quickly, and what was previously a lot of time was suddenly no time. Even after some failed first semester courses, I couldn’t seem to work between classes. It wasn’t that I couldn’t study with other freshmen; I guess I figured that what worked in high school would work in college.
I didn’t pay enough attention to my poor math entrance test results. Because I didn’t do well enough on these tests, I had to take prerequisite courses for the math courses required for my major. In effect, they were prerequisites for prerequisities. So not only did I figure that they didn’t count for anything (a mistake which cost me dearly), I didn’t think about perhaps changing my major to something that involved fewer math courses. In retrospect, I should have paid attention to the reason for these low marks and the reason for these entrance tests: I sucked at math and was nuts to take a major which involved so many math courses.
When I received a letter telling me that my grades were too low to continue my studies, I didn't go and talk to anyone about it to figure out where I could go from there. I can’t exactly say what my mindset was at the time. It could have been school burnout. By the time I got the letter, I didn't look too much into my options because I figured I could be done with school and just get a job. I was young and wasn't thinking of the long-term.
A year of working in a dead end job that I didn't like reminded me of why I wanted a degree in the first place. So I decided to move on. I chose to go to Community College instead of back to the university. But this time, I switched my major to something with less math and with more core classes than electives. Each semester I could check another 3 or 4 courses off of my checklist so it felt like progress was happening faster.
At the Community College, the first few semesters didn’t seem much different from high school. But as time went on, classes became harder and the work more time-consuming. Taking courses at a Community College was helpful, because it helped me ease into my next step: reenrollment at the University I had gone to before. But this time I made some changes:
I took advantage of some of the gaps in time between classes to get involved in some clubs. I started with just one but in my second term, joined another as well. Having less spare time between classes helped me make better use of the time I did have, so I got more work done. If there was no meeting on a given day, but I had some time, I'd hang out either in a computer lab or in the cafeteria and read my textbooks or try to knock out some homework. On club meeting days, I'd go to the meeting room early and do something for a class before the meeting started. I learned that figuring out the time management thing when you don't have a lot of time to play with is easier than when you have big chunks of time.
I took a different major than I had when I was there before, more along the lines of what I took at Community College. I found the new courses related to each other and related to my end goal. I enjoyed many of the profs because they taught using their real life experiences for the course material; this gave us better insight about how the content of the text could be used in the work force. Since I had struggled with math in the past, I took some of the necessary math courses online. The advantage was that when you did your homework online, you would immediately know if you got it right; it was helpful to submit homework answers on a website and have immediate feedback about right and wrong answers. Of course wrong answers were just wrong and there was no hint as to how to fix it or what was wrong, so it took a little longer to figure it out, but I think that was the point to doing it that way. Because our professor couldn't see our work, there couldn't be partial credit or the ability to say ‘look, you dropped your negative there and that’s why it’s wrong’. I think having to go back and figure it out helped a lot come test time. I liked having immediate results and not having to wait to know what I needed to do.
I knew that this time was my first and last chance to succeed. This was calculus, and the only chance I had to take the course and pass it -- I had reached my maximum semesters of financial aid so I needed to finish in May. All of the classes I had scheduled that year were 'must pass' classes. I had no wiggle room.
Looking back at my previous awful first year experience at University, I could have avoided my mistakes by actually going to the learning center and meeting with advisers; maybe they could have helped me to understand that failing these courses wasn’t the end of the world and help me develop a new plan. I could have also gotten involved in extracurriculars right from the start and given myself a reason to stay on campus rather than wander off. A little more focus on time management would have been helpful, although I've got to say it took me a while to figure out the secret to managing time - that being having less of it to deal with.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
An Addictive Substance, and I Started with my Eyes Open
Disclaimer: I would never suggest that anyone take up smoking just to meet friends; it is a terrible filthy habit and it is hard to quit.
But …
... I distinctly remember the first couple of days of school. I did not know anyone aside from my roommate, and neither of us really had many reasons to leave the room. One day I noticed that there were a lot of people smoking outside and I started talking to them. Soon I was smoking. After that first encounter I felt like I really knew more people; when I went to lunch, I now had people to sit with and when I saw people on campus, I now would say hi. Eventually I started hanging out with my newfound smoking buddies.
Smoking was also really important for me in my freshman year because there are times that you really feel trapped in your tiny room with little to do. It was an excuse to go outside, relieve some stress and talk to people. It’s really interesting how the people you smoke with can end up being some of your better friends just because of those little special moments you spend with them that you don’t have with other people. It becomes a sort of community – most people on campus can tell at every residence hall where people will gather to smoke. Doing something together, something that lots of people frown on, really does speed up the bonding. The alcoholics and the druggies must get that from their habits as well.
One day, my roommate said he was not going to smoke any more (a good choice) and instead we came up with the idea of buying a football and a frisbee. We went outside to throw them around and surprisingly enough, other people started to get in on it. It could be a great alternative, but I do feel that people are somewhat hesitant to ask to play. On the other hand, to be part of a group of smokers, you just have to come along and join in.
I don't regret it at all. It served a good purpose for me. But I'm glad I could give it up.
But …
... I distinctly remember the first couple of days of school. I did not know anyone aside from my roommate, and neither of us really had many reasons to leave the room. One day I noticed that there were a lot of people smoking outside and I started talking to them. Soon I was smoking. After that first encounter I felt like I really knew more people; when I went to lunch, I now had people to sit with and when I saw people on campus, I now would say hi. Eventually I started hanging out with my newfound smoking buddies.
Smoking was also really important for me in my freshman year because there are times that you really feel trapped in your tiny room with little to do. It was an excuse to go outside, relieve some stress and talk to people. It’s really interesting how the people you smoke with can end up being some of your better friends just because of those little special moments you spend with them that you don’t have with other people. It becomes a sort of community – most people on campus can tell at every residence hall where people will gather to smoke. Doing something together, something that lots of people frown on, really does speed up the bonding. The alcoholics and the druggies must get that from their habits as well.
One day, my roommate said he was not going to smoke any more (a good choice) and instead we came up with the idea of buying a football and a frisbee. We went outside to throw them around and surprisingly enough, other people started to get in on it. It could be a great alternative, but I do feel that people are somewhat hesitant to ask to play. On the other hand, to be part of a group of smokers, you just have to come along and join in.
I don't regret it at all. It served a good purpose for me. But I'm glad I could give it up.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
