An Oriental Perspective

A lot of people I know comment that I'm not a "typical" Asian girl, at least I'm not like anyone they've met before. At first I thought it was because of an exchange year that I had in the States a few years before I came to this college. But when you look at the fact that I've chosen to come so far from home to the States, I guess I am pretty different to start with. I had to immerse myself into a completely different culture as well as into the University lifestyle.

The first thing I noticed when I came to America was that everything is really intense, and moves very fast. There's a lot more freedom here, and fewer regulations, political restrictions, and cultural taboos.

That applies, first of all, largely to the online world. Information flow is more abundant, there's more variety, it all runs faster, and it's more intense. Take Facebook, it is huge everywhere right now!! On Facebook, I have friends from eight different countries. The world is so much smaller a place on Facebook. Now that you can get it on cell phones and other players people carry around all the time, it's even more instant and crazy. I'm so paranoid that I have to check it several times an hour. We have websites just like Facebook in China. Just as it is here, it's very addicting and young people are on it all the time. It's especially harsh for me because I have both the Facebook and the Chinese version of Facebook... I guess it's still pretty nice though - that website made me feel like I never left.

However, the ways people use Facebook are so different between these two countries. Here, people enjoy posting everything about their lives online. Not to mention, Americans have millions of online blogs, and people share the links they're interested in on Facebook/Twitter all the time. In this way, people have access to huge amount of information everyday. On the other hand, the internet is still young in China, so people do not know how to make the most of it by sharing information. A contributing factor is that Chinese people are a lot more reticent about making their private lives public. The culture has not yet developed to that stage, I guess.

Another difference is that there's such a wide variety of information here in America. People are not afraid to voice their stand on a current issue. In China, Chinese government have strict censorship on all media, including websites like the Chinese Facebook. The freedom of speech is also shown in news reporting. Here, there're five or six major news networks, newspapers and magazines everywhere, all with different points of view. Americans don't easily believe all that appears on the news, while in China, because media is thoroughly censored by government and there's only one point of view, it's hard to tell about the truth.

People from Asian countries probably wouldn't have too many studying problems in American colleges because they have been trained to work hard. The problem for us mostly lies in social life.

Actually, all freshmen worry about whether they fit in with others in their first year. We're all far away from home, being exposed to an extremely new situation. We're all scared of being alone. We're all trying to make friends. However, it's especially so for an international student like myself, not to mention the fact that I'm the only Chinese person in my year, if not in the entire school. People have commented that this school is quite reflective of the local rural and small town surroundings; I'm sure things are different in larger Universities that draw on a more diverse population. At this university, I have been stressed out. I have been depressed. I have been confused. I have to accept that I speak more formally than most people, and I often miss out on jokes -- they tend to allude to TV shows and other things that I haven't experienced.

It is easy to make acquaintances in America – people are outgoing and easy to talk to. But then, even though people ask, “How are you?” all the time, little do they really care about what you have to say about your life. In that sense, I found it hard to make really close friends. I do not understand how Americans are able to hang out in such big groups. I feel very strange being in a group and having somewhat trivial conversations with everyone. In China, people tend to stick together with three or four close friends most of the time.

Another confusion is the stereotype people have of college life. Using a line that I once heard on a TV show which I can only vaguely remember , "Kids! Drugs are bad. Alcohol is bad. Sex is bad. There's a time and place for all this, and it's called... college." So that's basically what's planted in most people's mind - ohhhhh, we need to accomplish the craziness of a lifetime in college!! So I guess college is also the period that people most likely go against their moral beliefs. Yep, that's just college, doesn't really count. Like if you bum a donut from someone else in a coffee shop, the calories don't count like they would if you bought it yourself.

There are definitely drugs, alcohol, and sex going on around me with people I know. And amazingly for someone with my background, they talk about it too -- I guess to show off how cool they are. On those occasions, I just listen to them and hold off on my opinions. I don't try to accept or oppose any of the life styles; I simply get to know all of them and understand why such things happen. I mean, as long as I hold on to my own values and make the choices that are right for myself, nothing would harm me, right? Most of my friends, (okay, acquaintances) respect my choices. So they don't really pressure me into anything. We still talk at dinner tables and sometimes hang out, but I'm very clear in my heart about who are the ones that I truly hold as my real friends.

Also surprisingly to me, when I come to think about things a bit more, I realize that I have in fact made several real friends who I can really relate to now. I guess things have been changing over time; little by little and without noticing it, I am indeed making friends.

One thing I've noticed that I really like about Americans is the "go-for-it" state of mind. I've always liked music, and in China, my friends and I would spend a lot of time singing -- but just for ourselves. Sure, we'd have dreams, but here, it's more about fulfilling them. People write songs, form bands, and (in my case) perform in musicals. Whatever the dream, it seems natural to try to achieve it. You can just start doing it, and make it become reality.

I'm someone who keeps myself very busy all the time, which helped me with my homesickness, although I didn’t have much of that in the first place. I think the most important thing to do as a freshman is to step out and try everything that's there. Don't hide in your comfortable corner and waste your chances. No matter where you are, you can always create opportunities for yourself. Fate won't come to you. You have to create your own. If I'd stayed in China for university there, I doubt if I'd have learned that.

That's basically what I'm doing now. I try to do a whole bunch of different things such as musicals, journalism, radio production, etc. I feel involved all the time and my life is colorful.